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Week 9 Podcast

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Ryan recently found two bags of used dildos in the chimney of his new house, which is a sign of good luck for a Buffalo Bills fan. That’s just some of the philosophy & fun you’ll learn in our week 9 podcast. Wade McElwain & Ryan Cull break down all of the big games ahead on the slate, plus take a look at the week that was in week 8.
NFL punditry at its most mediocre, with passionate predictions as well as a chat on ‘how do you do clean two bags of dirty dildos, and how much they’re worth’?
Listen, laugh, lather, repeat, subscribe.

Some of the games the guys preview in week 9 include:

Ravens (4-2) vs Colts (5-2)
Ravens -3  +44.5

Indianapolis is healthy again, which i s bad news for the AFC. The have a strong D and a robust O line that keeps Rivers in a solid pocket.
Baltimore suffered a big loss to Pittsburgh last week, and even worse, lost defensive stud Ronnie Stanley. Lamar will suffer with bug pressure and few options to throw to. The Ravens will put up a fight, but the Colts are on a healthy high.
Indy will run Taylor down their throat, while Rivers will have time to finally connect to TY Hilton for big gains.
Ryan is big on the Ravens to avenge their loss to the Steelers, while Wade smells a Colts upset.
Ryan- Ravens 27 Colts 20
Wade- Colts 26 Ravens 23

Broncos (3-4) vs Vikings (2-5)
Vikings -4 +53.5

Minnesota is feeling fine after a nice run down of division rivals Green Bay last week, after Dalvin Cook trampled the Packers for 4 TDs. They lost more of their secondary to injuries, making them even more vulnerable to deep plays.
Denver continues to plow on, despite not having much to work with. Drew Lock is not the answer, continuing to make mistakes despite sudden heroics. Their defence is what keeps them alive bolstered by some special special teams.
Ryan is big on a Vikings ‘W, but Wade thinks the Broncos can flip this one in their favour to cover a tight loss.
Ryan- Vikings 28 Broncos 23
Wade- Vikings 30 Broncos 28

Seahawks (6-1) vs Bills (6-2)
Seahawks -3  +54

Seattle wins again, but gives up big points in the effort. DK Metcalf is transiting from man to machine, ripping the opposition for big value plays. Even if he’s double covered, Tyler Lockett then has a big game. Their running game is handicapped, but they always seem to find  guy to do the job.
Buffalo has a recent win over the Patriots under their belt, but it wasn’t that convincing. Wish Allen struggled to find his rhythm again, and the defence isn’t as rigid as it once was.
Ryan thinks his Bills will lose to a superior Russell Wilson, and Wade agrees. Buffalo will spice up the wings, but Seattle has too much hot sauce.
Ryan- Seahawks 30 Bills 24
Wade- Seahawks 30 Bills 26

Steelers (7-0 vs Cowboys (2-6)
Steelers -13.5  +41.5

Pittsburgh is riding high after a great win over their division rival Ravens last Sunday, after an impressive performance by their defence. Big Ben was ok, but not good enough if the Steelers are going to go all the way. Every team is gunning for them now, even if they don’t win, they’ll be looking to inflict some damage on their reputation.
Dallas is just a mess. Jerry Jones is decrepitly steering America’s yacht into uncharted waters. A great team, with no one to lead it. Injuries galore, and a massively expensive roster. Time to sell off some assets?
Ryan is big on Pittsburgh beating up the lowly Cowpokes, and their new QB. Wade totally agrees on the podcast, and sees it happening. He’s also now changing his opinion and thinks that perhaps the Cowboys will cover this one as they can throw everything at it even if their down & move the chains. Game time decision, watch this space.
Ryan- Steelers 28 Cowboys 9
Wade- Steelers 31 Cowboys 26 * 

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Have a great NFL week and make sure you listen to the podcast for all the NFL in London fun.

Ryan’s Dildo Bag

DraftKings Week 9

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Who had Dalvin Cook in Week 8 of Fantasy NFL? Dude was a beast on Sunday, running for 4 TDs and over 200 yards. So who is going to be the next Dalvin Cook for week 8, and who should you put in your DraftKings line up?
All your fantasy tips are here.

QBs

Justin Herbert $6800

Can we just award the rookie of the year award to Herbert and get this over with? Despite having an O-line that’s more porous than a homemade condom, Herbert continues to chunk up big yards. He’s averaging 27 fantasy points per game, not to mention almost 3 TDs per game. He’s great value under $7000.

Nick Foles $5500

Foles has been about as accurate as a guy circumcised by a cross-eyed rabbi. He sprays it all over the place, and even when he does hit a receiver, they hold onto it like someone just pissed in their hands. Why Foles? Well, they’re playing the Titans, who got absolutely gashed by Burrow and the Bengals last week. The Titans have problems covering receivers, which should give Robinson and Mooney some time to catch the balls. He’s good value, and sure to get some deep points.

RBs

Dalvin Cook $8200

What does a guy do after gashing a division rival for 4 TDs and 200 plus yards? He does the same thing the next week. Detroit has an atrocious D, so they will struggle to contain whatever the Vikings throw at them. Cook is too fast and strong to be held back, and should be able to grab at least 2 TDs and 120+ yards this Sunday.

David Johnson $5600

The Texans face the Jaguars in Week 9, in a contrasting match up between both teams. Houston is buoyed by the loss of their coach, and the return of healthy players. The Jags lost Minshew and loads of others, with QB Jake Luton at start. David Johnson will be employed by the Texans often, and the Jags will struggle to control all the movement on the field.

Justin Jackson $4900

The Chargers are going to need someone reliable to run the ball against the Raiders, and Jackson is a steal at $4900. No one has emerged as the go to Chargers running back, but Jackson has be valuable in short yardage and Redzone chances. He’s a great deal and should get at least 1 TD.

WRs

Keenan Allen $7000

As a fan of pairing, Allen is the perfect side dish to Herbert. Allen has been on fire since Herbert joined, and provided he stays healthy every game, he’s the go-to wide receiver for pretty much every down.

Justin Jefferson $6100

This speedy rookie has had some up and down games. Last week against the Packers he wasn’t really needed, as Dalvin Cook ran right through Green Bay like melted cheese. Jefferson should see plenty of targets against the Lions. He is great with yards after catch, which should be substantial in this game.

Jerry Jeudy $4700

Drew Lock looked great last week, if you only look at the fourth quarter. He’s not that great of a QB, but at least their D keeps them in the game. Luckily Lock has Jeudy, who has been a tight little blazer in the Broncos offence. At $4700 he’s deffo worth it so you can save money on other players while still banging points.

TE

Noah Fant $4600

Fant has been a steady target for a Broncos team that lacks them. Solid hands and big presence, Fant has been a goldmine for fantasy points this season. The Falcons D is capital B ‘Bad’, so Fant should have no problem scoring against them.

Hunter Henry $4000

If you’re taking Herbert, why not look for Henry as well. The Raiders struggle against big tight ends, so this should be a real mess for them on Sunday. The Raiders are still hobbled by injuries, so this could be a big day for Henry.

DEF

Washington $3400

They might be the lowly Washington Team, but their D has been pretty fast and ferocious of late. Their pass rush has helped keep them in games, and with a hobbled Giants O-line, they should make life hell for Daniel Jones.

DraftKings League

If you’re looking to play DraftKings this week, why not join our DraftKings League? It’s free to join, and we have paid and free contests to join.
Here’s the link! Look forward to playing with you.

https://dkn.gs/r/kwxDR0JIokKPkA6cPjCtNA

Good luck on Sunday, and stay safe during this messed up year!

 

TNF Packers vs 49ers

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America is on life support this week, as it flatlines from its most recent election. Biden, Trump, Kanye? It’s anyone’s guess, but the real eyes should be on the Bay area this week, as the 49ers host Aaron Rodgers and the Packers on Thursday night.
Sure, American polling stations might be burning, but the real burn will be the anger in Rodgers eyes as he attempts to avenge a week 8 loss.

49ers

The 49ers are a total mess after week 8. Not only have they lost Jimmy G, George Kittle, Wilson Jr, and Mostert, they also lost lost Nick Bosa and Dee Ford on the D.
If you’re on San Fran’s practice squad, there’s a pretty good chance you’re playing on Thursday night.
This really could be the end for the 49ers this season in their competitive division. Losing the next few games will definitely push them beyond repair, as some of their top guys will be gone for the season.
As much as we all would love to see Nick Mullens pull a season saver out of his ass, he’ll need to be able to throw accurately over 8 yards, which has eluded him thus far in the season.
San Francisco is on its way to being the NY Jets of the NFC, they just don’t know it yet.

Packers

The Packers got stuffed last Sunday at Lambeau thanks to Dalvin Cook. They had no answer for him as he romped for 4 touchdowns and 200+ yards. Cook was a fantasy hero, and thankfully I had him on my squad, as well as choosing the Packers not to cover.
Aaron Rodgers is a beast after a loss, going 31-15 against the spread in the week following one.
Green Bay is also hit by the injury/ Covid bug, as it looks like all of their running backs could be out. Rodgers is going to have to toss the ball on Thursday, which shouldn’t be a problem against the 49ers secondary which is down & dusted as well.
No one will be able to smother Davante Adams, which should lead to a stellar game for him.

Prediction

The 49ers are far too hobbled to cause problems for anyone this season going forward. They went from a ‘chasing the playoffs year’, to ‘shut up and rebuild year’ in one single week.
Aaron Rodgers will be looking to avenge his Sunday loss, and the poor 49ers will pay the price.
Rodgers is a California boy, and he should feel right at home in this game.

Packers 31 49ers 18

 

 

Week 8 Results

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Week 8 of the NFL is done and dusted, so how did you do? There were some pretty easy games t predict, then there were some real head-shakers (talking to you Green Bay).
The Jets continued to suck, the Giants blew another one and the Titans might need a bit of a re-think after a big ‘L’ in W.

Wade McElwain finished Week 8 with a 10-4 record, while Ryan Cull wrapped up a mid-range 7-7 tally. Wade also hit all of his upsets, including the Dolphins, Bengals, & Vikings to cover. He was also lucky that the Chiefs were able to have some ‘fun ball’ against the lowly Jets.
Let’s take a look at some of the games they got right.

Titans 20 vs Bengals 31

Stop Derrick Henry, and you have a chance in this game. And that’s exactly what the Bengals did, stuffing Henry and silencing Tannehill in the first half. Joe Burrow was a beast, throwing for 249 yards against a tough D, and spreading the ball around to 7 different receivers. The Bengals now have 2 wins, but the way that they are playing, they should have a few more.

Vikings 28 Packers 22

It’s not easy to stroll into Lambeau and rub fresh dog dirt into the face of Aaron Rodgers, but that’s exactly what the Vikings did. Mattison has been a solid running back option for the Vikes, but it wasn’t until Dalvin Cook returned that the tea showed how much they missed him. He gashed the Pack all day, as they struggled to contain him. Green Bay might have been looking towards their TNF game against the 49ers, which didn’t help them. Minnesota looked like the team that people predicted at the start of the season.

LA Rams 17 Miami 28

Tua gets hist first big win, or does he? Tua looked more like a streetcar driver than a QB, simply just following along the route, rather than affecting it. He had less than 100 yards all day, relying on his special teams and D to get the W. Would Fitzmagic have score more points? Deffo! Tua better learn to command the pocket, or he’ll find himself in the back pocket of the starting QB soon. Miami has a scary D that teams need to worry about.

Chargers 30 Broncos 31

The Chargers are the new Falcons, blowing lead after lead despite the heroic efforts of Justin Herbert. You can even smell it happening, as they D is simply overwhelmed at the constant barrage to their youth and inexperience. It’s easy to root for the likeable Herbert, but it’s tough to watch him build up a big lead, only for the defence to squander it away. Wade said that the Broncos D would keep it close, and they sure made the difference here.

Who will be the big upsets this week? Make sure you listen to our podcast every week so that you can pick up on Wade and Ryan’s big tips of the week.
https://apple.co/2SswFjD

 

Callum’s Week 8

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Here’s another great Week 8 prediction from Mr. Squires, as we delve into our weekly feature Callum’s Week 8.  

THE PICKS SIX – WEEK EIGHT

Yo! Welcome back to The Picks Six. Last week, I went 9-4 in picking outright winners, but two of the key games that ruined all the fun were ones I was certain were going the other way. Turns out, the Patriots did not have enough in their locker to do the “Belichick Bounce Back” I predicted, and that the Cowboys are so abjectly awful on defense that they made the WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM look competent. Embarrassing. A shambles. We jump back in with full of enthusiasm to a great slate of games in week 8, a number of which could genuinely go either way. This makes my job simultaneously harder and more enjoyable. Fingers crossed everything doesn’t blow up in my face like it did two weeks ago. Anyway… Let’s get to the predictions.

The 1st & Goal from the 1yd Line. (Season Record 2-1) 

This is my lock of the week. A sure fire winner surely.

Obviously, I have to continue picking against the Jets. They’re atrocious. So, the Chiefs to win in the safest bet of all time. They’re currently TWENTY (two zero, 20) point favourites. Incredible. That spread is so big, it does come with a little inherent risk, so I’m gonna tweak it a little, play it safe, and say let’s have Chiefs -9.5. A two score margin should be very doable for Mahomes. 

Furthermore, let’s spice it up and have 3 picks in this category this week. So, let’s add The Packers to win against the Vikings, and The Dolphins +10.5 against the Rams.

Rodgers is going to go all out to properly stamp out the Vikings from NFC North contention, and I don’t think Miami would put Tua in as starter if they didn’t think it would work immediately. I don’t think the Rams will blow Tagovailoa away – even with Aaron Donald – so let’s give the Dolphins a head start and play it safe. 

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The 45yd Field Goal (Season Record 0-2)

This is my mid-range, toss up of the week.

It’s not been a good start for me from mid-field goal range. Ugh. We’re gonna give two this week and try desperately to claw our way back to .500 in this category before Week 9.

Let’s start with the Browns -2.5 against the Raiders. Baker’s performance last week has refuelled my Browns Hype Train and I’m ready to ride them again. The Raiders run game stumbled against the Bucs last week and I think they’ll have to throw more with Derek Carr this week. I think the Browns are better on both sides of the ball and have enough to cover this spread.

My second choice is the Saints -5.0. Yup, I still think the Bears are frauds at 5-2. Thanks to the Rams for spelling that out very clearly last Monday night. Michael Thomas still being out is a shame, but Brees, Kamara and Latavius Murray should be able to wreak enough havoc to keep the – very good – Chicago defense on it’s heels. Looks like Allen Robinson might now play, increasing the already large amount of pressure on Foles to work miracles… I don’t see it. NOLA to cover please.

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The Hail Mary (Season Record 0-2)

This is my shot from half field. Unlikely, but you never know. 

I am so so so so so tempted to pick Ben Gucci DiNucci and the Cowboys to upset Philly outright. What a story it would be. I love an underdog story and, whilst it’s crazy to think of the Cowboys as the underdogs, in this case they really are. This would be the biggest upset of this season so far. I’m really talking myself into this…

You know what? Let’s change it up. This week’s Hail Mary is an underdog parlay.

Miami to win – TUA TIME.

Detroit to win – The Colts are meh on offense.

Pittsburgh to win – Ride the undefeated hand.

Dallas +7.5 – DiNucci has had a week to work with ALL those weapons, the Eagles DO have a lot of injuries… let’s give us a close game to round out Sunday night. 

I’ll have to see if we classify this as one pick or as four… but this little acca is about 38/1.

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The Overs (Season Record 2-2)

Raiders @ Browns – Over 49.5

As previously mentioned, Baker was absolutely SLINGING it last week (after OBJ got hurt), and John Gruden loves to chase the points. I think both these defenses are slyly decent, hence why the total is under 50 points, but can see offense winning the day here. Feels like both teams will sell out to stop the run (Josh Jacobs & Kareem Hunt respectively), meaning the passing game for both Mayfield and Derek Carr will be prevalent. Take over 49.5.

Titans @ Bengals – Over 51.0

Joe Burrow is trying his level best to drag this under-manned and out-matched Bengals team to relevancy. Their defense is just too weak to help on the back end. Burrow has shown enough throwing (and running) the ball to warrant respect that he’s capable of almost guaranteeing you at least 21pts on the board each week. The Titans have been nothing short of fantastic, and will be looking to bounce back from losing a very close one to arguably the best defense in the league last week, the Steelers. I see Tannehill, Derrick Henry, Jonnu Smith and AJ Brown on the Bengals defense in a high scoring affair. Take over 51.0.

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The Parlay (Complete Parlays 0-2, Correct Legs 5-4-1)

LA Chargers -3.0 – Justin Herbert is fast becoming one of my favourite players to watch, and the Broncos, despite having a good defense, just don’t have enough to keep up with JHerbz in this one. 

Seahawks -3.0 – One overtime shootout loss to the (very underrated) Cardinals does not stop Seattle being the NFC West top dog. They will re-establish that and solidify their Championship pedigree in this one. Russ will cook. 

Lions +3.0 – What a win they had last week. Sure, blame Atlanta’s incompetence, but equally praise Matt Stafford, Kenny Golladay and TJ Hockenson for masterminding that final drive. I like the Lions to win this game outright this week also, as the Colts have been very underwhelming with the ball in their hands. Detroit plus a field goal feels like a good bet. 

Bills -4.0 – The Patriots burned me last week, so I’m taking them to get burned again this week. Josh Allen and the Bills have had a little dip in form since their electric opening to the season, but this is a must win for them. If you can’t beat THIS Patriots team, and win the AFC East, you never will. BILL-ieve in Buffalo.

Steelers +4.5 – This one shouldn’t be a blow out in either direction, and with the Steelers rolling – as the lone undefeated team in the league – I think they might win this one outright, but taking the points advantage feels sensible. Lamar is of course liable to come off his bye week and go bonkers, but I’m hoping Ben and his army of weapons can stay with them. 

Depending on your bookmaker, a £10 bet on this parlay will return about £260. 

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The Full English: (Season Record 18-9)

Colts @ Lions – Lions

Rams @ Dolphins – Miami (There is 0% chance I’m picking against Tua on his debut… remember his Ba

Raiders @ Browns – Cleveland

Vikings @ Packers – Green Bay

Patriots @ Bills – Buffalo (Come on Josh Allen!!)

Jets @ Chiefs – Kansas City (the line is -20.0 and I think it’s way too low… sheeeeesh)

Steelers @ Ravens – Steelers (This is the toss up of all toss ups but I’m leaning Pittsburgh as their defense is for real and Lamar and the running game hasn’t been the same one we saw last year for the Ravens. Now that I’ve written this, Baltimore will probably win by 30 just to spite me…)

Titans @ Bengals – Tennessee

Chargers @ Broncos – LA

Saints @ Bears – New Orleans (Bears are still Frauds)

49ers @ Seahawks – Seattle

Cowboys @ Eagles – Eagles (I want to pick Gucci DiNucci and the Boyz but can’t quite take that risk. However, this will be closer than some people think…)

Buccaneers @ Giants – Tampa Bay

Enjoy Week 8! As ever, I’m @callumjdsquires on Twitter & Instagram. Let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to see me discuss or suggest picks for… Come chat and tell me why I’m wrong and your team is going to win this week. Jets fans – don’t turn the game on… don’t do it to yourself. Cheers.

All lines accurate as of 11am Saturday.’t

Want to make picks on this page like Callum does? Get in touch and we can post your articles here to a large fanbase. We don’t pay (yet), but hopefully as we grow, so will our pay.