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Draft Hangover

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Draught can give you a wicked hangover. It could be the hops, the barley, the sugar, or the fact that you drowned 13 of them quickly to try to numb the pain that is your NFL fandom. Like the liquid draught, the NFL Draft can bring with it a mighty wallop of a hangover.

So which teams were able to handle the draft, and which ones got so tuned out it may affect their next few years?
Not surprisingly, there were a few boneheaded moves from the draft that could have plenty of reverb in September.

Among some of the hot topics to emerge from the 2021 NFL Draft include.

Pack it in Aaron

If ever there was an NFL model for a tortured relationship, it would be the Green Bay Packers. Despite having a solid QB who tops the league every season, the Pack continue to starve Rodgers as if they are testing him to see how well he will perform without some of his talents.
Green Bay COULD have taken one of the many wide receivers on offer at the draft, and opted to snag another defensive member of the backfield.
The Packers could have let this drama simmer another season had they just given the guy some sign that they were keen on him, and the team making a solid playoff rush in 2021.
Instead, Green Bay now has a pissed of QB who is not only ready to leave, but also point a target on their heads for the rest of his career.
With the amount of cap space the Packers have to eat to deal with Rodgers, you would think that they would have thought this through a bit more.
Ready to suit up Love?

Bear Down

With the Packers struggling (yet still winning) in the NFC North, it was up to Chicago to make something in the 2021 Draft.
Chicago was gifted the chance to move up for Justin Fields at number 11, and traded with the Giants to get him at that spot.
Within a fortnight, Fields went from number two pick, to rumours of him having a heart condition, & other ill health tweets.
This is the kind of crap the Patriots usually spread before using the opportunity to cash in on their needs.
With Nagy and Pace dangling by a career thread, they will need Fields to light them up to the playoffs if this deal is to be considered a success.
The real question is…can they protect him?

Return of the Mac

Mac Jones has a draft body like Tom Brady.
Mac Jones is the new Tom Brady.
Following this logic won’t get you far in correctly making NFL picks, but it might make you feel warm and fuzzy inside if you’re from New England.
New England didn’t even have to make a move to get Jones, as they watched the freefall happen in front of them.
Cam Newton now has a young man he can guide and nourish over the next 5 years before eventually handing the reins to him, or so he might think.
The Patriots splashed on big TE’s and defensive options with their free agency wad, now comes the real test.
How quickly will the Pats be ‘Bills Ready’ for 2021?

Jag Offs

It was no secret that Trevor Lawrence was on the wishlist of the Jags as they kicked off the 2021 Draft.
The Clemson Kid should be the answer to their QB woes, he is the 4th Jacksonville QB selected at number 1.
Urban Myer will be looking to get a little ‘country’ this season, battling elite NFL teams with his collegiate pluckiness and guise.
Where the Jags really went ‘boom’ was their second pick in the first round, taking Travis Etienne at number 25.
This former Clemson running back has played with Lawrence for years, and these two should be able to get back to business quickly.
Florida fans will be looking for a return to the playoffs this season, and anything short of that will have to be considered a massive set back.

 

Ladies and Gettleman

Did Dave Gettleman do good? It’s hard to tell through the ire of the New York sports media, but it seems Dave did good.
Eager to capitalise on Chicago’s need for a QB, the Giants were able to channel the Bears desperation into a good future.
By trading the eleventh pick to the Bears, the Giants were able to parlay this into getting the Bears 20th pick, a 5th round pick and 1st and fourth round picks in 2022.
Not to mention drafting stellar Florida speedster Kadarius Toney, who should offer Daniel Jones a target he can under throw.
Now the Giants just need to shake off that stink of the NFC East.

That’s it for Round 1 of the 2021 NFL Draft, we will have more action throughout the weekend.

 

 

Wild Draft Predictions

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Life is like a box of chocolates.
Either it gets picked apart by your family, gives you diabetes, or is accidentally left in a car and melts into a goopy puddle.
The point being, you can never be too sure. 

Every year, the NFL Draft hits us with someone wild and wacky-and this year could be no different.
What kind of insane in the membrane trades, moves and hustles could happen in Cleveland this year?
That’s why we have our 2021 Wild Draft Predictions. 

In the NFL the crazier…the more entertaining. 

Pundits and prognosticators have all pulled their polls to make their sure thing bets.
But are they sure things?
Trevor Lawrence is first out and off to the Jaguars? Maybe.
https://www.sportsbettingdime.com/nfl/draft-odds/
Kyle Pitts can play every position. Really?
The Bears will screw up the draft…ok, that’s possible. 

To honour the wackiness that is the NFL Draft, we have tallied a bunch of ‘out there’ predictions for the 2021 NFL Draft.
From fades to trades, bold calls to wild conjecture….we have it all for you.

So let’s get in with some of the most out there NFL predictions to cover our betting butts. 

1. Trevor Lawrence to the CFL

Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Well the NFL couldn’t.
After a blockbuster move to secure the XFL and partner it with the CFL, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson makes his biggest move by convincing Trevor Lawrence to eschew the NFL and head north young man.
Lawrence heads to Saskatchewan to train with the Roughriders, before taking over his own franchise the Newfoundland Nuggets. 

2. Justin Fields Forever

Rumours began to circulate that something was up with Justin Fields, and that perhaps he wasn’t what or whom he appeared to be.
On Draft Day that becomes apparent when the Zoom camera pans in on Fields and his family, only to reveal Colin Kaepernick.
As it turns out, Colin has kidnapped Fields and his family for one last shot at greatness.
Despite numerous blood transfusions and bone grafts Kaep once again fails to deliver for his team.
Fields is eventually released by Colin and the captors, but once again-the damage is already done. 

3. Manziel Mania

The NFL Draft is in Cleveland?
Johnny Manziel is ‘Mr Cleveland’!
Manziel decides to take his shot at crashing the 2021 NFL Draft to promote his new vaccine ‘Johnny Football’, aptly named as it is made from rendered pigskin.
To promote the event, Manziel hires idiot/dunce Jake Paul to deliver the vaccines to people by ‘punching it in their face.’
Paul uses the platform to announce his upcoming fight against the all of the patients in a children’s hospital.
If the children can beat him, he will give them a ‘shout-out’.

4. Jets get an 8 Ball

After years of bad draft picks, the New York Jets have let it slip that they have a new tool for drafting this year…the Magic 8 Ball.
Instead of using sports science, the Jets are opting to let magic be their guide to post season glory.
New head coach Robert Saleh will franticly shake the ball prior to each round to find their ‘yes’ ‘no’ and ‘maybe’s for 2021.
Unfortunately for Saleh, owner Woody Johnson likes the ‘pluck’ of the 8 ball and decides to fire all of his coaching staff to let it coach the Jets in 2022.
They make it to the AFC final. 

5. Ballin’ Bezos

Jeff Bezos is rolling in it.
From the billions he made from selling off Amazon shares, to his neighbours wife who he took just because he could…everything is rolling up JB!
Bezos goes full baller this NFL Draft when he rolls in without a team and announcing ‘I’m not leaving here without my own team.’
Jaws drop, wallets are rummaged and Bezos walks out with not one, but 2 NFL teams. 

Amazonian Jeff not only snags the Chargers for his trophy case, but also snags the Buffalo Bills ‘in case he wants wings.’
As he leaves, Bezos ‘makes it rain’ dolla bills, with images of Usher on every bill. 

Those are our bold predictions for the 2021 NFL Draft, what are yours?
Make sure you listen to our post Draft podcast this week to see how close we all were.

Shadow Moves

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What lurks in the the shadows of the NFL?
What secret moves are happening in free agency?
Turns out, a lot-as Wade & Ryan look at Shadow Moves in this podcast.

Miami flipped a flop on the 49ers and Eagles, trading then sliding back in with some nifty picks.
All signs point to QB heaven as the teams line up to grab the next bigbit of  quarterback Mccheese.

The boys look at some of the other big news in this podcast including.

Bucs Start Kicking

Tampa Bay brings back a whopping 22 players, pointing to the fact that the Buccaneers are kicking to win another Super Bowl this season.
Tom Brady has all his weapons, and only time will tell if they can kick their late season run into a near perfect season.
Once you win the big show, everyone wants to steal your limelight.

Wilson!

Will Wilson drift away from the Seahawks raft, or will he let them paint his face and be the head on the stick again. When someone wants to leave that bad, it’s hard to see the lockerroom feeling the love if he does return.
The Seahawks have a lot of shoes, issues, and issues in shoes.
Maybe Petey should walk away this season.

Falc Off Matt

What’s the deal in Atlanta? If only they could vote on what to do with the team. Oh, that’s right.
Atlanta is in the fist flock frenzy of QB grappling and Matt Ryan may have more than a protégée.
The Falcons could also play it smart and trade their pick the dozens of teams willing to slit a fans throat after the anthem if they could get a sniff of Zach Wilson.
Ryan said it.

Benglosity

The Bengals have a great slice of picks, and it would be wise to load up that front line in the early going.
TB12 got a Wirf of a boost this season and Joe Burrow deserves a shot at not getting his head torn a sunder.
Cincinnati also benefits from grabbing a few wide receivers to make them a little more solid at points next season.

Aging Ravens

Baltimore went full The Wire, by bringing back a couple of old crows to flock the sidelines.
Sanu and Sammy Watkins signed with the Ravens in a chance to give Lamar Jackson two solid number 3 receivers.
If both of them stay healthy, they might be able to play 8 games this season and average 4 fantasy points.

Watson, Watsoff

Deshaun Watson is in the news again but for some not so good reasons.
It ‘seems’ that several Insta-masseuses claim that Watson did yada yada, and they felt blah blah.
Not to seem insensitive, but it’s all conjecture at this point.
Deshaun Watson is not charged, and he hasn’t said anything.
An interesting convenience in a legal battle to extricate himself from the grasp of a billionaire, only to find himself in the very position of one.
Kraft cooked his tapes, and added some orange cheese to offer a meal of of innocent denial.
In Robert Kraft’s case though, they had tapes and titilating testimony.
Let’s not forget that Deshaun Watson is also a young man under an extraordinary amount of pressure professionally and personally.
Kneeing him in a his mental nuts is not cool.

That’s it for this podcast, make sure that you listen to more in our library.
We’re glad to keep chatting about the NFL, and excited about the future of the league here and making you all laugh.

Sad Nachos

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Good food can help make a great football game better. Bad food turns a bad game into a travesty.
So what quantifies as bad nachos, or even sad nachos?
Pretty much everything you’ll find at a UK pub chain.

Nachos have been a struggle menu item for most British restaurants.
To many it’s just a matter of ‘putting cheese on crisps’, which rewards the eater with bland taste, sharp edges and no reminder of home.

The first time a North American orders nachos from a ‘Spoons, you quickly realise what kind of mistake you have made.
Shortly after a server appears with a plate of Doritos that have been microwaved covered in some cheese slices. No extra toppings, flavour, or even good corn chips…just plain old Doritos.
It’s the NFL equivalent to showing up to a game, only to find out it’s a New York Jets practice, with only 3rd string players.

Expats quickly learn what NOT to order on a British menu to avoid tainting the taste of home.
Hot dogs that come in jars in the canned goods aisle? Hard pass.
Cheeseburgers pre-made and sold in a gas station. No thanks.
Asking for ‘lemonade’ and getting a warm can of Sprite. Oh geez.
Nachos could easily stand for ‘No American Cheese, Habaneros Or Salsa’.

So how does someone learn to just not give a crap about cooking?
Follow the lead of this guy, who apparently is the only one with some kind of cooking acumen at this network.
His nachos recipe looks more like a cry for help or a sign of suicide rather than a cooking segment.

Our man Weber is a microwave kind of guy, and you get the impression that this is not only his ONLY recipe, but that he probably eats this every night sitting in his tight-whiteys watching late night runs of the dating show ‘Studs.’
This is the nacho recipe for the everyman.

If you’re looking for a way NOT to make nachos, or the spirit animal of the sad divorcee, than this is the video for you.

There are some good nachos in the UK by the way. we just have yet to taste them.
If you have any recommendations for the best nachos in the UK, make sure to give us a holler.
We’ll all be eating crap nachos and watching the games together soon.

Meme Marchness

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What a wild week this was in the NFL!
Does anyone else have the cold sweats?
To celebrate, we have compiled a collection of some of the greatest memes from the week in what we call Meme Marchness.

We will of course go into bigger discussion about some of these topics in our podcast, and throughout the week. Some of the hot topics we will be touching on include:

DeShaun Watson

It’s all starting to crumble for Watson, as his exploits at massage parlours makes him the perfect Patriot. The reports that are starting to emerge are troubling, and could potentially spell the end of a career for DeShaun.
Like anything in life, you can rush to hasty decisions without all of the facts-something we don’t have yet.
A truly unfortunate situation for everyone.

Patriots

Speaking of blowing the wad, New England has splashed some cash this week unlike any other time in their history. Bill Belichick got Cam for a nifty deal, then splashed out on enough tight ends to last him 5 years. New England is in a tough division, and we shall see if Belichick still has a magic touch, or if he is truly out of touch.

Trubisky

Ding dong, Mitch is dead. Well, not really. But Mitchell Trubisky is no longer a Bear, as he has shuffled off to Buffalo. After being flogged by Chicago relentlessly since being selected, Mitch should look forward to going to Western New York where the fans are recognised as the nicest in the league.
These good feels might even help Mitch get his confidence back.

Here are a selection of memes for you to giggle yourself over.