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Draft Eve

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Are your NFL stockings hung by the fireplace with care, in hopes that Draft Eve will bring your team the talent to spare?

Welcome to the giddiness of the 2023 NFL Draft, as we bust your ear drums open with some banter of how we see the first bit of the draft going, and all the saucy news that will make up the hot gossip of trades around the week.
Buckle up!

Wade McElwain and Ryan Cull dust off their other life, and hop back into the NFL saddle as the cobwebs are off to start 2023!

If you would like to listen to the full Draft Eve podcast, you can click here for the Soundcloud, or find us on iTunes and Spotify as well.

Aaron ‘Jet’ Rodgers

Well it’s official kids, Aaron Rodgers is finally following in the footsteps of Brett Favre and moving off to the Big Apple.
The deal is finally done in a swap of rounders and Woody goes ‘all in’ on hoping that the guru veteran take them to the playoff land.
For both teams it’s a chance to finally move on to the season with the Draft now a focus on how they are going to surround them.
Giving Rodgers a solid o-line and a big old tight end might be some of the keys that he needs.
Rodgers will once again be wearing his Golden Bear 8, perhaps trying to channel his inner youth in a cleanse to start over.
8 could also be the number of interceptions he throws in a game given his predecessors.
Given the move to a 17 week season, the alignment means that an NFC North and NFC battle zone could see a 25% chance of the Packers playing the Jets again this year. The Jets won in 2022, maybe they could do it again.

Tom Brady

Nothing. Who cares. Made you look.

Draft Drama

We all know that the draft brings with it the joy of seeing your team jiggle it up to prime for a new run, but it’s also that dirty drama drama that accompanies it.
What’s the deal with Derek Henry? Is Dalvin Cook going anywhere? Has everyone forgot about Lamar? Lamar is missing y’all!
With a bucket load of free agent talent out there, and not a lot of cash to back it up, could there be some people that have to suck it up for cheap?
Welcome to 2023.

Draft Picks

In some ways it feels like kind of a ‘meh’ draft, because there isn’t really anyone with ‘pizza-azzle’ to ignite a flurry of excitement.
That being said, in an injury prone league of increased play time, the more bodies the better.
Big, young, fat men with questionable diets lead the focus, as DE, OT, C’s and BLT’s are the hunger of many a GM.
Any why not? After seeing so many QB’s get smashed by inept lines of fourth stringers, and the knowledge that just one of these kids could change the whole dynamic of a line.
QBs will sill be the focus though, but the cost of living crisis has also made some cuts to the height of the top talent.
Woe is the short man in this new game, where the Tua’s and Kyler’s college shuffle didn’t translate to a league where smackdown and field vision are more prevalent.

International Games

Okay folks, the big news is only weeks away. Word is that we will get the announcement of the full NFL in London games on May 4th, 2023!  That’s right, cancel your plans that day, as we your world is about to change.
We will not only know who plays the Buffalo Bills, Tennessee Titans, and Jacksonville Jaguars, but also the dates.
We will NOT know anything about that though for a while. Please watch the NFLUK website for that, as they will have all the legit news.
Please make sure that you don’t buy any tickets online before the official news, as they are deffo a big scam.
Check out out socials. You have our permission. You can also touch them if you want.
It’s been a long offseason.

Sloppy Seconds

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Most of the top tier talented has been shuffled off to other teams, as we look who is left to go where in our Sloppy Seconds podcast.

If you get offended with the title, take it up with Ryan.

In this episode, the boys look at some of the ‘other’ NFL moves across the league, as we all await the news of where Rodgers, Lamar and TB12 could end up. Wait, him again?

To listen to the whole thing, make sure you click here.

Among some of the other things that the guys discuss in this edition.

Own Up

The owners are having their annual billionaires meeting, and with Epstein island a little too ‘hot’ these days for attention, the lads have opted for a Butlin’s in Wales this year.

Among some of the major things that the owners will be discussing this year are new rules, how to make more money, how not to lose money, and what to do with Dan Snyder.
Dan the man has indicated that he will be selling the team soon, just not to Bezos, Beyonce, or Bono.
He’s got a real ‘B’ obsession that man.

One rule that looks like it will survive is the ‘push rule’, which allows players to leverage a rugby-style effort to move the ball ahead.
Given how strikingly similar it is to the process of trying to get Raiders owner Mark Davis into an elevator after a late night, no one seems to have a problem with it.

Hopkins

DeAndre Hopkins is a hot commodity this off season for the right team that can afford him.
Often injured, sometimes fined, and coming in at a price tag of $30-34 million, teams are going to have dig deep into their pockets to be able to afford the ageing receiver.

Is he the guy that is going to get you to the SuperBowl, or is his salary just so dang high that he could cripple the rest of the team in mediocrity?

Buffalo Bills are top faves to pip Hopkins this season, giving Josh Allen another option to try to force balls to in 3rd and long situations.

Who’s got the cash to splash on this big player?

Panther Sale

After liquidating their franchise of players over the past 18 months, the Panthers are starting to build up some options for whatever rookie QB they decide to pursue in the draft.

Former Vikings WR Adam ‘Stealin’ Thielen was a handy slot option for Minnesota, so it will be interesting to see how they use the ageing receiver.
Also added to the mix is former Jag/ Lion DJ Chark, who will add some lowly fantasy points to whomever snags him in a 14 player fantasy league.

Carolina played last season like they had ‘nothing to lose’, let’s see how that transcends to 2023.

Oh Rodgers

For a guy who said he was going to make this quick, Aaron Rodgers sure seems to be in limbo.

Word is that the Jets and Packers are just down to the numbers now, as Green Bay will be looking to fleece New York for whatever they can, while the Jets also have to contend with a massive chunk of cash to pay him.

Maybe he can get his buddy Jake Paul to buy an NFL team call it the Ayahuasca’s and they can trip across the states together beating teams way weaker than them?

Everyone in the league is just waiting for this to get down and dusted so we can see how bad the Jets will actually be after making so many sacrifices.
Still got to make it out of that tough division.

London Games

We are getting closer to the announcement of who will be playing in London in 2023 to face the Bills, Titans, and Jaguars.
We have our own thoughts, and will be sharing it with you guys over the next few weeks.

 

Scoff Season Podcast

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Bleh, the off-season blues have hit us all as Wade & Ryan try to make news from clues in this Scoff Season Podcast.

As the intoxication from the 2022 season wears off, we’re left with a hangover supplemented by some XFL, Six nations, and what the USFL might do.

Real NFL fans know that this time of year is when the drama happens. Some sort of juicy retirement, trade, or signing will get ours hearts racing again, hoping for a new season of what’s to be.

The boys yakkity-yak about this stuff in the podcast, so make sure that you wet your ears with the juice right here.

Other stuff the guys chat about in the podcast includes:

AX-FL

The Rock may have not cooked his league enough, as the XFL is raw-dogging the ratings and having fans more opt to choose pickle ball repeats than primetime football.

Maybe the league hasn’t titty-twisted fans interest yet, or maybe the focus is on the wrong side of lens.

Orlando Guardians could be a Real Housewives locker-room drama, as the shizzle has hit bizzle for another time this week.
Previously coach Terrell Buckley went viral for tossing his team under the bus for not wanting to play and give it all. It was a pretty damning way to start the season.
Then QB Quenten Dormandy, (who replaced Paxton Lynch), was dropped by the team after it was found out he send the playbook to an opposing team.

You can’t make this kind of drama up! The real show should be on the behind the scenes of the shiesse show that is being a ‘not NFL’ player.
Something has to spice up the league.

Who they, Where they?

There are so many expensive pieces in the NFL to move as egos and salaries bloat the franchises. It’s going to be only so many good bodies a lockeroom will hold when one guy costs a quarter of the team’s season salary.

Just like Epstein island, you can only bury the young kids for so long before you got to pay them. Burrow, Mahomes, Watson, Jones, Lamar and more are going to want their 50 mill a year, and that factory can only make so many touchdowns on its own.

This off season should see a slew of jocks shuffle off to new teams and totally make their budgets, rosters and momentum take a massive steer.

Going ‘all in’ Rams and Cardinals style looks as appetising as buying a Hummer, as franchises are looking to lean and mean for years, not wither on the vine.

Bear What

So what are the Bears going to do with their number one pick?

Are the going to boot Justin Fields in the butt, and find a new beginning with their new coaching team? Will they look at the massive running numbers he put up despite a horrible O line and everything else around him? Will they trade the pick and try to milk it for everything they can get?

Teams are QB slutting right now, as they know that there are a few gems in the 2023 draft that might be able to change their destiny.

Word on the street a the mo is that the Bears are looking for 3 number ones over the next 3 years. Are they trying to cash in a lottery ticket that’s too big?

What if the one that gets away this year is the next Mahomes, or that Fields turns out to be a bust?

Some many bear-abilities.

Make sure that you check out all of our socials, and that you follow and subscribe. We’re going to have a whack more content out soon, so check this space for all of the latest news.

We will also be doing some profiles on the upcoming NFL Draft, and the 2023 London Games.

Make sure that you listen to our Scoff Season Podcast here.

Week 18 Picks

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It’s was a dramatic and scary end to week 17, as we roll into a whole new NFL with our Week 18 Picks.

The NFL fans, and fantasy managers were sent into a tizzy with the news of the serious cardiac condition of Buffalo Bills player Damar Hamlin.

First and foremost is the focus that Damar recovers, and gets better-and all signs are starting to point that way. He’s a 24 year old on a $160k/ year salary, so let’s also hope that some of that GoFundMe can be directed towards his recovery.

The NFL took a shocking loss like week like Putin in Ukraine, as it became quickly evident they didn’t have a plan. NFL players have died on the field before, it’s surprising that the league wasn’t able to act quicker and respond stronger when it happened. Maybe they had already gone home for this late game?

The Bills and Bengals are also short a game heading into the playoffs. The maths don’t always add up when you have two teams looking for top seeding, and it also isn’t fair to other teams unless the game is ruled a tie.

Fantasy managers are also in a tizzy, as even our own league has a player with Josh Allen as a deciding factor. How do you rule on a replay, score averages over the season, a fantasy playoff when the final two have their own bias towards the finish.

Ugh, so much to discuss, hear Wade and Ryan’s take on it in the podcast.

Week 18 Picks

Here are Wade and Ryan’s Week 18 Picks for your fantasy, betting and life decisions.
Use them to make a better you. Catch all the picks in the podcast above.

-9 Chiefs (13-3) vs Raiders (6-10)

Kansas City can’t get no respect despite have a 13 and 3 record, but they do once again in the spread this week with a 9 point boom over the Raiders.
The Chiefs haven’t been exactly dominant this season, and their defence gives question as to whether a score heavy team like an ignited Raiders might do to them.

More women would watch the show if Hard Knocks would have featured the Raiders this year, because oh the drama! The ghost of Gruden haunts the halls of Vegas, as Carr’s departure has suddenly led to a last minute gusto of Jared Stitham.
‘Stitty’ gets the gritty this week, as the Raiders have opted to start a bunch of young guns and looking to play a little street ball at home.

Ryan likes the Chiefs to win, but doesn’t buy 9 points for a Chiefs team that might coast once they have the lead.

Wade likes street ball here, as the Raiders might show some moxy and game some late game garbage points to make this a closer game.

Ryan-Chiefs 30 Raiders 26
Wade-Chiefs 31 Raiders 26

Patriots (8-8) vs -7 Bills (12-3) +43.5

Billy B and the boys are primed for a playoff spot, they could just use a win here, a Dolphins, Titans, Steelers, loss…blah blah. A Win over the Bills is the only way that the Patriots can feel safer, but no one feels safe in Buffalo, especially when there is a history of dildos hitting the field.

The Bills will be playing with emotion on Sunday, how much how affect how they play.
With Damar Hamlin in hospital, the Bills might be so pumped at home that they eviscerate the poor Pats by the half.
They also could be so overcome with emotion that they overcompensate and under deliver.
But the Bills are at home, tables will be smashed in the parking lot, dildos will be thrown at the Patriots bench, and the most generous fan base in the NFL, will rock the shit out of that joint.
Damar Hamlin will be proud.

Ryan-Bills 27 Patriots 17
Wade-Bills 33-Patriots 20

Make sure you listen to the full podcast for all of the goodness, and make sure that you like us on social media!

 

Week 16 Picks Podcast

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Ho Ho Ho everyone, and a merry Christmas to you all, as we present our Week 16 Picks Podcast.

Wade and Ryan have been pulling long hours in the toy shop, as they craft their best predictions for the Christmas slate of games in week 16.

Will Santa give our presents to all the good teams this year, or will all the bad teams get a big old steaming pile in their stockings this year?
Not up to us.

If you want to give the gift of the podcast to your friends, you can unwrap it here, and share it with those you love, like detest and hate.

Here are some of the games that Wade & Ryan look at in their picks for Week 16.

Giants (8-5-1) vs -4 Vikings (11-3) +48

Welcome to the ‘Disappointment Bowl’, where two teams who had previous high expectations, have led us all to question their voracity going forward.
Are both these teams pretenders?

The Giants have slid down from their high hopes of the past, as they start to groove into the middle of the NFC East.
With the team steadily relying on Saquon, it’s been tough for Daniel Jones to establish himself when their O-line makes it equally as difficult for him.
The Vikings have also been called Chrissie Hynde ‘Pretenders’ as of late, although their massive comeback against the Colts in Week 15 has to have added a bit of fire to the belly.
Ryan isn’t convinced that the Vikings are the better match here, and doesn’t see how Cousins is going to keep up with the pace of the Giants.
Wade also agrees that the Giants might have more to lose here given the Vikes have already clinched, so that might but a little fire under their keister.
Ryan- Giants 24 Vikings 23
Wade- Giants 26 Vikings 23

-2.5 Lions (7-7) vs Panthers (5-9)  +43.5

How about ‘dem Lions? From getting Hard Knocked around at the start of the season, to potentially ended up ahead of the Packers for second place in the NFC North.
Dan Campbell has inspired his players, and Goff and the goofs have been answering, scoring points and unleashing a D that has been tough for recent opponents.
The Panthers on the other hand have nothing to lose.
The lost Baker, they lost McCaffery, they lost Robbie, a coach…but sometimes a slimline makes you meaner.
Carolina still boasts a D that keeps them in games that they might not normally be in, and might give Sam Darnold a chance to exorcise his ghosts of the past.
Ryan loves the Lions here, and thinks that they are on the right path to victory with Dan Campbell fired up on all fronts.
He doesn’t think that the Panthers have the tools to compete with a feisty Michigan squad.
Wade is smelling an upset here, as the combination of the Panthers furious D, and the outdoor setting of the south during Christmas to give the Lions some trouble.

Ryan- Lions 27 Panthers 20
Wade- Panthers 21 Lions 18

-8 Bills (11-3) vs Bears (3-11)  +41.5

The boys have the ultimate battle on Christmas Eve, as Ryans Bills visit Wade’s Bears in Soldier Field on Saturday.
There is more at stake than pride here..actually-nope, that’s pretty much all there is.
Buffalo continues to roll despite some injuries and worries that Josh Allen might not be 100%.
The Bills D hasn’t been the same since losing Von Miller, but Josh continues to be the running and driving force for the team.
Justin Fields has been having a pretty good season, even if the Bears haven’t.
They have lost six games straight since signing Chase Claypool, and the O line is about as effective as wet cocaine.
Ryan loves his Bills for a win here, and doesn’t see how the Bears are going to be able to keep up, despite their run of Fields lately. He thinks Allen and the guys steamroll through Soldier Field easily.
Bears fan Wade isn’t as convinced. He thinks that the Bills will win, but that the weather, and fact that the Bills have to face the Bengals in Week 17 might be enough for them to have their heads elsewhere.
Ryan- Bills 28 Bears 17
Wade- Bills 26 Bears 19
That’s it for our Week 16 Picks Podcast! Hope you enjoy listening to the whole show.
On behalf from all of us at NFL in London, we wish you all the Merriest of Christmases, the Happiest of Holidays, and the safest of the season.
We’re nothing without you, so take care of each other this holiday season.