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Goodbye Goat

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Well we all knew it was going to happen eventually, as Tom Brady finally announced his second ‘official retirement’, as we say Goodbye Goat.

At 45 years old, TB12 has played in the NFL for 23 years, with over two decades in Boston, and then the final in Tampa.
The acronym of ‘GOAT’ was originally applied to him, and it’s hard to see anyone taking that title away from him in this lifetime.

Sure, it was only a year ago that Tommy retired for 6 weeks, only to return for hist worst season ever at the Bucs.
This time the retirement feels real, but let’s see how many QBs the 49ers lose in 2023.

By Numbers

Looking at Brady’s stats per decade, he could easily make the Hall of Fame each and every decade based on his own performance.
His numbers in his 40s are staggering, including two Super Bowl titles.

Brady ends his career as the all time passing leader (89, 214 yards), most touchdown passes in the regular season (649), not to mention most pass attempts (12,050) as well as most completed passes (7753). When it comes to the digits, Brady crushes them all.

Let’s also not forget the SEVEN SuperBowls that Brady as won, that has also rewarded him with 15 Pro Bowls (who cares about Pro Bowls?) These numbers don’t even include his post season numbers, which push Tommy boy so out of reach of the regular human QBs that he plays against.

TV Time

The future for Brady looks bright, as he signed a ridiculous 10 year broadcasting contract which will keep him on our TVs for the next decade or so.
Unless he sucks.
We haven’t really had a full induction to the TB12 broadcast booth ways, and as much as people were initially enamoured over Tony Romo, the amount of schtick he took this year was surprising.

Don’t expect him to be doing any of that goofy colour-commentator crap, Tommy’s too good for that.

Brady Future

While it might be an end of era, it is also the signal for a new generation to step up and set their own records.

Most QBs in the NFL today grew up watching Brady and emulating his heroics on playgrounds across America.
Now that the GOAT can finally rest, it’s time for this new legion of stars to step up and make their own mark.

So thank you Tom Brady for showing us how truly magical it is to watch a player who was so clutch it hurt.

Also thanks for leaving Boston and silencing those very annoying fans.

We can all sleep a little easier at night with them quiet.

Thanks for everything GOAT!

Just maybe not thanks for this.

Playoffs and London Games

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And then there were 8 teams left as we head into the divisional round, as we look at our Playoffs and London Games and all the news ahead.

It’s been a wild and upheaving few weeks in the NFL, and we’re now building up to the final four, as the league gets bumpy in the Divisional Round.

Playoffs

The 49ers were first through the gate, with a solid thumping of the Seahawks in a dismal day for Geno. Brock was Purdy indeed, relying on a solid San Fran team to push them through to a next round match-up with the Cowboys

For anyone who has ever blown a Charger, you know how much that really sucks. Well imagine blowing 27 Chargers all at once (not PornHub dirty minds).
San Diego Angeles got rocked by Trevor and the Jags who took the Staley out of the situation for a sweet win, and a next round date with the Chiefs.

Buffalo survived a tight contest against Miami, eeking out a last minute win to seal their move to the next round. The Bills didn’t look great, but they got it done and now face a fierce Bengals squad.

Daniel Jones and the Giants have had a Cinderella story to get them this far, with big ole Dabol and his winning smile cheering on the G Men to victory.
Minnesota went out like a turd that didn’t even a double flush, although Kirk Cousins chains hung a little lower after another disappointing run.

Joe Burrow and the Boys faced a tough Ravens D in the Wildcard Weekend, and were able to stomp out JT Huntley, and a Ravens squad that sorely lacked Lamar and many other options.
Cincy is started to chili cook in the AFC again, and they have to face Bills squad they were smacking around until the Hamlin incident.
A great game lies ahead.

TB12 was actually TB14 on Sunday, as Dak and ‘dem Boyz were able to rout the Bucs on their home pirate ship.
Dallas actually looked good, which was quite impressive after some recent hiccups.
The Bucs looked flat, with everyone playing like it was their last game of the season, and not in an inspired way.
How far can Dallas go now?

London Games

Good news NFL in London fans, the Buffalo Bills, Tennessee Titans, and Jacksonville Jaguars will all host London contests in 2023.

The Bills and Titans will both host home games at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium in Northeast London, while the Jags will make it a Wembley affair in Northwest London.

Germany gets two games in 2023, with the New England Patriots and Kansas City Chiefs all playing. Given how amazing the German fans were in 2022, it’s well deserved that they get to host two for the world.

No dates have yet been announced, nor has the opponents for these games been either, as the league typically reveals these in the early spring.
We of course will do our own due diligence to guess who those matches might be, and we’ll let you know that soon too.

Info from Tottenham Stadium is here.

https://www.tottenhamhotspur.com/news/2023/january/nfl-announces-designated-teams-for-2023-international-games/

Tom and Aaron

Now that Tommy and Aaron are out of the playoffs, the buzz and gossip is what is going to happen to these two in the offseason?
Will they stay in their respective teams? Move on to warmer playing fields? Retire? Host a dating show together where they both travel the world meeting gorgeous women?
All sound possible.

Tom Brady
As for Tommy Boy, the oddsmakers have his first possible destination is lovely Las Vegas at +350.
Carr is out, and Sin City might be TB12’s playpen if the price is right, and the Raiders have any money left.
Miami is the second choice at +450, which seems a bit given the fine the Dolphins were given for trying to mix themselves up a little Tommy Boy cocktail a few years ago. If Tua’s multiple concussions are a sign (and they should be), Miami might need a good QB for that flight of speedsters they have at receivers.
San Francisky is frisky in third at +500. Depending on what Purdy is able to accomplish for the Niners this year, they might be in need to bring in an old stud to mentor Trey Lance while he mends.
Staying in Tampa is a fifth option at +750. Hey, they won the Super Bowl a few years ago, so if the Glasers pony up some money to build the team he needs, who knows?
Last but not least is retirement at +600.
Actually last is the Jets at +900, but c’mon!

Aaron Rodgers
Aaron is a bit of oddball, because his journey could be sent on a tangent if he goes on a bad trip during the offseason.
A sea of supple influencers awaits A-A-Ron, so he knows who might appear on his feed and take him off a  road that doesn’t involve the NFL.
Oddsballs have Rodgers first choice being back in Green Bay at +200.
The 49ers are next on this Cali boy’s destination, with him pipping Tom with +450.
Las Vegas is also in the cards for AR, as the house has him coming in at +575.
Retirement looms even closer for Rodgers, who might want to gameshow his way to the bonus round of life, and end it all. His NFL career, not his life.
Ending his life would be signing with the Jets at +1200, or the Colts at +1500.
Might as well put a bell on his neck and give him a goat for company as you put them out to pasture.

As for us, we think Brady goes to the 49ers, and Rodgers goes to Vegas.
The goat and the old horse still got a little bit of kicking left to do.

That’s it for our Playoffs and London Games, make sure you like and follow!

Make sure you check out our social pages, and have a listen to the podcast.

 

 

 

Week 1 Picks

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After a long, long wait-the NFL is finally here, and we couldn’t be more excited!

COVID is long gone, the ballsy hot days of summer are a mere scar from the sunburns, and everything is coming up pumpkin spice.
It’s NFL time!

Wade and Ryan are back at it, making their predictions in our Week 1 Picks podcast.

Make sure you listen to it over, and over to get all the nuggets of information distilled by the boys.

Among some of the things and games the boys talk about in this podcast includes:

Eagles (-5) vs Lions +48.5

Has everyone had a big gulpy slurp of Dan Campbell juice from Hard Knocks? Be careful, it’s full of caffeine!

HBO and the smooth voice of Liev Schreiber once again lulled us into believing that slick editing and inspirational music would help make a 3 win team better.
Only the season will tell.

What was telling was how the Eagles were able to make the playoffs in a ‘re-building’ year. Jalen Hurts and the Philly running game were able to put together a respectable season last year, and they only look to get better with some key additions to make for a deeper push this year.

Detroit has been Hard Knocking it, but they still have Jared Goff and a QB bench that even the Steelers could look down on.
Great running game, improved D, but you still gotta score.

Ryan likes the Lions to lickety-split the Eagles. He thinks that the running game and speedy receivers will be too much for the Eagles.

Wade is big on Philly, and thinks that this game will show that Detroit is not the motor city that people are hyping it up to be this season.

Ryan- Lions 23 Eagles 20
Wade-Eagles 31 Lions 24

Browns vs Panthers (1.5) +42.5

These lines have shifted quicker than an earthquake at a California cocaine party.

It started with the Browns being favoured, moved to the Panthers, had no line, was even and last was at 1.5 points for the Browns.

All eyes on Baker, as Mayfield hosts his former team in an ego battle like no other.
Matt Rhule needs a win here-not only to keep his job safe, but to also not lose the fans to start the season.
Christian McC is back, and Robbie Anderson might have the playmaker he needs to gash the backfield with incredible plays.

The Browns have been rubbed down, iced, and given a little moisturiser to start their season, as all eyes and hands have been rubbing down Deshaun.
Facing the ire of their fans, and the league, the Browns have opted to let Brissett take the reigns of a very capable Cleveland team.

Ryan has Baker and the boys laying a little beating on Cleveland, with revenge hot on his mind for week 1.

Wade on the other hand thinks that the Browns and the pressure might be a bit much for Baker in week 1, with Chubb and Hunt doing most of the work for the Browns.
He also sees loads of turnovers in a sloppy game.

Ryan-Panthers 28-Browns 20
Wade-Browns 24 Panthers 20

Raiders vs Chargers (3.5) +52

Lock up your china mom, the boys are battling it out in the living room tonight!

The AFC West battle starts out in fine form, as the LA Chargers and their fanless stadium host the under the influence Las Vegas Raiders.
It’s Carr vs Herbert in a showdown, throw down!

Vegas has blown many wads over the past few years, having many of their draft picks burn up quickly in the desert sun.
Through attrition the Raiders have found their squad, adding in Devante Adams as well as some O line pieces to give Derek a wee bit more time.
Don’t forget about Darren Waller and Josh Jacobs as well.

The LA Chargers were a thrill to watch last year, as Justin Herbert challenged Joe Burrow for newbie QB you wish was on your fantasy.
LA added Mack to the D, as well as giving Herbert some supporting tools for a longer distance drive into the playoffs this year.

Ryan likes the Chargers to win, but doesn’t think that Vegas will be an easy opponent.
Too much talent on both sides to allow the Raiders to keep it close.

Wade also thinks that this AFC doozy will be close, with the Chargers having that extra spark for victory. There will be plenty of fantasy points in this one.

Ryan-Chargers 30 Raiders 27
Wade-Chargers 33 Raiders 30

Week 1

Let’s not forget that it’s week 1, so whatever you thought you knew is most likely wrong.

No one really knows what the heck is going on until week 5, so at least find solace in that if you suck a big stone in week 1.

 

 

AFC/NFC Preview

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Well NFL darlings, it’s that time of the year again, as that giddy feeling in your stomach turns into the excitement of another NFL season!

The preseason is done, London games set, initial rounds of injuries have skated across the league, and it’s time for some football!

To commemorate the start of the 2022 NFL season, once again Wade McElwain and Ryan Cull have taken the task at hand of trying to determine who will emerge as the top teams to face off in the 2023 SuperBowl.

Thus we present to you our AFC/NFC Preview Podcast!

As a Bears and Bills fan, they have a skewed barometer of how their teams will fare, but there’s no loyalty in making picks.

To make sure that you get the best out of both guys, we have recorded not ONE, but TWO podcasts on this-one for each division!

AFC

The Buffalo Bills are heavily favoured to take it all this year, but as any seasoned Western New York fan knows, the wing might be spicy, it doesn’t mean that it’s fully cooked inside. (aka-expect failure0

It’s the Bills to lose this season, but the AFC East has the much touted Dolphins and their diminutive QB looking to be the big man.
The Dolphins have all the tools, but will those tools fit into the new machine?
Billy B will be looking to pull off some sleight of hand, convincing many preseason pundits that the Pats don’t have it together-they will.
The Jets…two words…Joe Flacco.
They’s be better off with Edie Falco.

The AFC North has all the drama for your mama this year, as Deshaun Watson immediately makes the Browns the least favourite team of any female fan of the NFL.
Cincy is fresh off a Superbowl appearance, but as history tells us-that isn’t always a good thing.
Lamar has a lot to prove this season, let’s just hope he doesn’t get hurt before he gets paid.
Pittsburgh has Trubisky. ‘Nuff said.

The West is Best in the AFC in terms of team calibre, but which of these rats can chew off the others faces to pip the top.
Patrick Mahomes is a safe bet to put on a show, as the Chiefs shrug off some dead weight to make another run at the title.
Hot on their heels will be the strong arm of Justin Herbert and a rejuvenated Chargers D. Is this his Joe Burrow year?
Vegas went all in on Carr, giving him the pieces he needs to make a buffet to feed the city their dreams.
Denver has Russ-but can he ever cook again?

Matty Ice is in the AFC, as he hope to run off of Taylor’s legs and take this AFC South division with ease.
Tannehill has lost loads of weapons this season, with the Titans trying to make a run, without all the tools they had before.
Houston-we have a problem. Davis Mills is fine, but you can’t build a team around him.
Jacksonville has to do something this year now that Urban Meyer is back working as a manager at Hot Topic. It’s all on you Trevor!

NFC

The NFC claimed the SuperBowl title last year, with the LA Rams and the noodle-elbow of Matt Stafford winning it all after a woeful time in Detroit.

It’s hard to repeat as champs, so they’ll need all the Cialis in their wallets if they want to stay hard this year.
The NFC West is a feast of talent, so the Rams will need to stifle the tough D and running game of the 49ers if they want to move ahead. This is your chance Trey!
Kyler asked to ‘show me the money’, now he needs to show he can score. Boom or bust year for him.
Seattle is famed for being a depressive place that led to grunge and copious coffee drinking. Put another pot on.

NFC East is the least in terms of being impressive, but that doesn’t mean that they haven’t gotten better.
Hurts and the Eagles were able to make the playoffs during a rebuild year-and that running game should move them to the playoffs again this year.
The Devil and Daniel Jones have one last chance in the Big Apple before the angels of Harlem chase their asses out of town.
‘Dem Boyz are looking more like the Proud Boyz, as many people are turning on them, as wondering who the hell they are.
Washington sucks so bad, they should change the name again.

The NFC Dirty South has TB12 and his mama drama. Will that stop the Bucs from returning to the big game and send Tommy Boy to retirement?
Jameis is ready to rock the Saints and their top tier D into the playoffs-they have enough talent to do it, but do they have enough discipline?
Baker has to cook something up in Carolina this year, before he finds himself carrying Pat McAfee’s golf bags.
Atlanta is a great TV show starring Donald Driver.

Aaron Rodgers has taken a full dose of himself, and he is ready to lead the Packers to another early round playoff exit. Is his team ready to this to the NFC North?
The Vikings have an amazing team on paper, but paper doesn’t play every week.
Hard Knocks fans have swallowed the Dan Campbell pill, and have them beasting the league this year. Do we all remember the Lions of last year? Good.
The Bears are slated to be the worst team in the league this year. They will definitely have the worst O line…and draft picks!

Wade & Ryan will be back with their Week 1 predictions, as well as more NFL in London fun.

 

June News

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Well it’s June NFL fans, which means all we need to do is get this pesky summer over with, and we’re back in the NFL sweet spot.

Let’s look at all of the action ahead in our June News!

Are you excited for the upcoming NFL season, or are you dreading another miserable season for your squad?

London Games

Are you ready for the NFL London games for 2022?
If you haven’t been locked in a cave, then you know that we have some pretty sweet games on tap for this autumn, as we get the Minnesota Vikings vs New Orleans Saints on October 2nd, New York Giants vs Green Bay Packers on Oct 9th, and finally the Denver Broncos roll into Wembley to take on the Jacksonville Jaguars on October 30th for a spooky Hallo’s eve contest.

Tickets for the Tottenham games go on sale on Monday June 20th for season ticket holders, and premium packages for the games will go on sale on June 22nd.

Prices for the games will range from £64 for category seven nose-bleeders to season tickets for both games in the sweet seats for £292.
Make sure that you get your tickets early and you DON’T bother with ticket scalpers.

Wembley game tickets will go on sale soon-watch this space.

Elementary Watson

The Browns went all in on Deshaun Watson, pulling back the towel and letting all the bits hang-but will he be hanging with the team this year?

Another allegation is rubbing and tugging on Watson, as the Browns get that icky feeling that they might need the snubbed services of Baker Mayfield for 2022 if Watson gets iced for a bunch of games.

While nothing has been proven in court, the court of public opinion os slowly turning the tide on the Browns as this saga goes on.

Let’s hope it all gets settled and the Browns can go back doing what they do best, frustrating their fans.

Spanos in the Works

Speaking of owners, Chargers owner Dean Spanos is being sued by his sister over claims of misogyny in the organisation.

Dea Spanos (really mom & dad?)-said that her brothers acted out of a sense of entitlement, and subverted women’s rights in their wrestling of control of the team.

Dean Spanos was quick to retort ‘Shut the fuck up Karen’and get back to the kitchen’.

Family huh?

Walmart Broncos

Attention Denver shoppers, there is a blue light special in aisle 7, as Rob Walton snaps up the Denver Broncos for a whopping 4.65 billion dollars.

It’s the highest price ever for an NFL team, and one that will make all the other owners happy as clams, pushing the value of their product even further.

Walton is one of the heirs to the Walmart empire, and should be an interesting owner in terms of his net worth-as some of the Walton kids hover around the $58B.
Not too shabby, and puts him in the upper echelons of the richest NFL owners.

Other teams that might be next on the sales block includes The New Orleans Saints, the Chicago Bears; Seattle Seahawks, LA Chargers and of course the Washington Commanders.

Out of the top 100 viewed programs on American TV last year, 92 of them were NFL games-meaning this game is only getting bigger. (or all other wokey TV is just crap).

J-Lo Mould

Dancer Jennifer Lopez has looked back at her 2020 SuperBowl halftime performance with Shakira, and called it the ‘worst decision in the world’, putting decisions of genocide, purges and holocausts on the back burner.

Despite barely being a singer, actor, or influencer, Lopez felt that having two headliners on the stage would distract the fans, who of course were only at the SuperBowl to watch menopausal women gyrate while children in cages watched on helplessly.
Even Janet Jackson’s nipple was heard to comment ‘WTF girl!’

Jebbifer make the remarks in an upcoming documentary about her vapid life, while Shakira loves anything that isn’t a comment on her marital demise to a much younger football player.

At least they both had to pay to perform, which is the lesson really learned here.

NFL Pools

Do you guys want to join in some NFL pools for the 2022 season?

We’re looking at expanding on our fantasy offerings, and would love to get your input.

What kind of season long fantasy would you guys like to get involved in? How much do you want to spend to enter?

Let’s do this!