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Wade’s Week 2 Upsets

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Wade McElwain is back with his top upsets for week 2 in the NFL.
Who does he think are the teams that will upset or cover their spread?
Just watch the video and you can see.

Some of his top upsets for this week include:

Falcons vs Cowboys -5

This game looks to be a high scoring and fun affair, as Matt Ryan had over 400 yards in a loss. Will Amari Cooper shut out the Falcons, or will they have a chance? Wade likes the Falcons to cover this one.

Broncos vs Steelers -7.5

Pittsburgh is coming off a great game, despite not having RB James Connor. The Broncos were able to keep in the game last week, but lost after some lazy plays. Wade likes them to cover the 7.5 point spread this week.

Giants vs Bears -5

Wade bet against his Bears? What is he thinking? Well, he’s not impressed with Mitch and was impressed with Jones. Add to this the drama of Allen Robinson, and he likes the G-Men to win this one.

If you want to hear all of Wade’s weekly picks, make sure you check out our podcast.

 

Week 2 Picks

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Wade & Ryan make their predictions for Week 2 in the NFL in the latest podcast. They also break down what happened in week 1, and how that will affect some of the scores this Sunday.
Wade had an impressive record of 10-5-1 last week, where Ryan was a more modest 4-11-1, what does this week hold?

The guys look at some of the key games, some of which they agree on and some that totally do not. Among these:

Falcons (0-1) vs Cowboys (0-1)
Dallas -5 +52.5

Both teams lost last week and will be looking for retribution in week 2. Matt Ryan was able to chuck up 400+ yards in week 1, and still takes an L, of course he was facing the Seahawks, but they will need to show more this week. The Cowboys looked flat in week 1, with Aaron Donald and the Rams beating them up and down the field. Will Zeke finally get his legs back?
Ryan likes a Cowboys beating of the Falcons here, predicting a 31-17 victory.
Wade isn’t so sure, and likes the Falcons to cover the 5 point spread, with a Dallas victory of 28-26.

Rams (1-0) vs Eagles (0-1)
Pick +46

This game is a pick, which means both team have an equally bad chance of losing in this one. Philly looked limp in week 1, with Miles Sanders out with an injury. He’s back this week, but will have a tough job against that fast LA front line. Can old man DeShaun Jackson come back to life and score some points at home?
Ryan predicts an LA beatdown of Philly, with a 24-13 drubbing.
Wade likes Philly to win at home, as their secondary should make some big plays off of Goff. He calls a Philly win 23-20.

Giants (0-1) vs Bears (1-0)
Chicago -5 +42.5

The Bears won a heavy fourth quarter battle with the Lions last week, thanks to the last minute antics of Mitch. Of course it helps when Detroit loses a key member of its D allowing Trubisky to find holes. How will the drama of Allen Robinson on social media affect the locker room?
As for the Giants, they were smacked around by the Steelers, but Jones had some great moments of play, and some great efforts from Darius Slayton.
Both Wade and Ryan like the Giants to upset here, as much as it breaks Wade’s Beary heart.
Ryan has the Giants winning 23-20, and Wade sees it as a 27-24 victory for the G-Men.

Make sure you listen to our podcast for all the NFL tips and news. We are hoping to start hosting NFL viewing parties in the city soon, just watch this space.

Week 1 Picks

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Praise to the NFL Gods! We’re back with the 2020 season, and Wade & Ryan couldn’t be happier.
This whole year has felt like a Cowboys vs Patriots Super Bowl, with screaming idiocy everywhere, but at least we can find comfort in the start of another year of football.
The guys might not be able to predict what the bloody hell is going to happen in the next 6 months, but at least they will steer you right in their NFL picks.

The first week of the NFL is always tricky to handicap, as there are so many unknown factors and new dynamics rolling off of training camp. 2020 is an even tougher year to predict, as the lack of preseason and physical preparation are all going to factor into some wild and crazy scores. Injuries will also be a major issue, as the lack of a preseason means some of these guys might be soft and brittle the first time someone plows into them.

Wade McElwain and Ryan Cull have done the research, looked at the tape, read a few fantasy magazines and are ready to prognosticate. Wade had a whopping 64% correct against the spread last season, while Ryan came in with 57% correct. Will Wade be able to repeat his wizardry this year? Let’s find out with some of their top picks.

TNF-Texans vs Chiefs (-9) +54.5

The reigning Super Bowl champs kick off the season at home against a foe they face early on in the playoffs last year. Despite trailing 24-0 to Deshaun and the Texans, Mahomes was able to rally his team to go all the way. So how much is changed the season?
Hopkins is gone, Cooks is in and the running game now rests in the hands of Duke Johnson.
The Chiefs have much of their magic back, although some of the blocking on the O line is weaker due to some trades and opt outs.
Both Wade & Ryan like the Chiefs to win here, although Ryan sees the Texans keeping this game closer, while Wade predicts a blowout in from of a smaller Chiefs crowd.
Wade-Chiefs 31 Texans 20
Ryan-Chiefs 31 Texans 28

Dolphins vs Patriots (-6.5) +43

This is the first time we see Bill Belichick without his Tommy Boy, so how will he react to his new NFL normal? He’ll be fine, as BB is known for his meticulous planning for any opponent. Cam will add a nice healthy dose of dip and dash to the offence, and old man Edelman will prove his worth in some quick cuts and short routes. Fitzmagic will need to find his magic wand, as many of his tools have either been traded or regressed in the offseason. Fitz will have some success, but the Patriots D is still one to be feared in the league. Ryan likes the Dolphins to cover, whereas Wade sees this as another beatdown.
Wade-Patriots 30 Dolphins 17
Ryan-Patriots 24 Dolphins 20

Seahawks (-2) vs Falcons +49

The Seahawks are out for a title this year, and many believe that this could be ‘their year’, but first they have to get through some tough competition. The Falcons have struggled with great talent and bad injuries in the past few years, and one wonders if Matt Ryan will ever make a trip back to the Super Bowl in his career. The dome might be lacking in fans, but there will be a lot of eyes on new acquisition Todd Gurley and whether he can stay healthy.
Ryan likes the Seahawks to rough up the Falcons, with Russell Wilson having an impressive day hitting Tyler Lockett.
Wade on the other hand is quick to point out the traditional slow start of the Seahawks, and Pete Carroll not covering the spread on Week 1 since 2014. He has Atlanta in an upset.
Wade-Falcons 30 Seahawks 28
Ryan-Seahawks 31 Falcons 21

For the rest of the predictions, have a listen to our podcast for all the games and scores.
How will the boys do this week?
Make sure you join us one weekend for an NFL event once all of this malarky is behind us.
Stay safe, stay sane, let’s go NFL!

Fantasy Draft Party

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Like many at the start of September, we held our annual Fantasy Draft to commemorate the start of the season. Fantasy Draft’s are great ways to bond with fellow NFL fans to challenge each other in your game and playability knowledge of this great game. It’s also a good chance to emotionally bitch slap last year’s losers, bow to the finite rantings of last year’s winner, and plan for the future.

Our NFL in London Fantasy Pool is going on over a decade of play, with a melange of international fans who we have met in our hosting of NFL events across the city.
There are two leagues, the ‘Eh League’ which is comprised of the best of the best, and the ‘B League’, the relegation league where hopefuls can exchange a league win with that of the Eh loser. To be the best you have to beat the best.

We held this years draft at the Princess Alexandra Pub in Crouch End. It’s our lovely local run by our mate Nick Ford and his wife and 2 Alaskan Malmutes. With the crush of Covid, we opted for a nearby place that we could safely distance, as well as support an independent establishment. They have great burgers, Sunday roasts and stay open until 1am on Sundays so you can catch the second game, and be back in Kings Cross in 20 minutes.
https://princessalexandran8.co.uk/

We used the FanDraft software again this year, and cannot recommend this product enough. It is an easy and fun way to host your draft, and you can immediately export the results to input into your fantasy app. You can also make it fun with walk-on music, custom images and funny comments that I as the commissioner can input. We teamed it up with Facebook’s Messenger to create a private group that we could run for over 3 hours. Since we had folks in Dubai, New Zealand, Romania and Scotland, this was really a fun little addition.
https://fandraft.com/

It was nice to have a sense of ‘normal’ again, and hope that all of you also had a great one as well. It’s a messed up old world we live in, & a fantasy group is like a fraternity of sanity. No matter what shit people have to say about what on social media, NFL fantasy chat is all about the BS.
Let’s see what you have to say about it Monday morning.
Good luck everyone.

 

AFC-Division Preview

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Everybody is an NFL pundit, so why not listen to the blathering on of some NFL experts?
Wade McElwain and Ryan Cull are ready with their divisional picks to make your life either easier, or more complicated.
Those are the kind of choices you get in a Covid world.

When it comes to NFL picks, Wade & Ryan are quite good at picking NFL winners. Wade was able to hit a whopping 64% correct against the spread in 2019, putting him right up there with Vegas Tipsters.
Ryan was able to hit 56%, which is better than grandma or an octopus can pick. So you’re in good hands.

So who do the boys like for this season? Let’s find out. Or you can listen to the latest podcast where they explain it all.

AFC East

Ryan is a Buffalo Bills fan, so expect a bit of a bias in his picks. He believes that the Bills will finally see their year, outperforming the New England Patriots and taking the division title with an 11-5 record. He has the Pats slightly behind at 9-7, with the lowly Jets and Dolphins finishing up at 6-10.
Wade also likes the Bills, but not so much. This is a tough division, which means that they will probably beat the crap out of each other to .500 records. He has the Bills at a respectable 9-7, with Bill Belichick’s coaching nipping on the heels of the Bills at 8-8. As for the other dumpster fires, the Dolphins will either start strong or finish strong, but they will deffo suck in the middle. Adam Gase will do what he does, and turn Jets fans a fiery red.

AFC North

Can the Baltimore Ravens repeat their Lamar-a-rific performance like they did last year? Ryan says yes, Wade says no. Ryan likes the Ravens have what it takes to take the division, pipping the Browns with the Steelers trailing in third. The Bengals of course are his fourth place,  as are most peoples’.
Wade is hot on Pittsburgh this season as the drama is behind them, and Tomlin is focused on a title run. Their D is incredible and their offence is finally healthy enough to challenge. Wade has Baltimore trailing with a respectable 11-5 record. He isn’t as bullish on the Browns however, as the high profile players will once again implode with a 6-10 season. He too thinks that the Bengals will stink worse than 2020, if that’s at all possible.

AFC South

The Titans rose as giants in their division last year, but will the brilliance of Bill O’Brien save the Texans? Not according to the boys. Ryan likes the pep of Phillip Rivers to take the Colts and their wicked O-line to a 10-6 record and the division title. He has both the Titans &  Texans slightly behind, with the Jaguars playing so bad, they should just be called ‘Florida’.
Wade on the other hand sees ties in the future, in fact a 3 way tie. He has the Titans, Colts and Texans all chunking out 9-7 records with the Jaguars getting shot in the jungle with a lowly 1-15 record.
The south will definitely not rise again.

AFC West

Damn this is one tough division. Not only do you have the Super Bowl champions looking to repeat, but a few other plucky teams who are ready to challenge.
Ryan is all aboard the Chiefs wagon, looking at them to win a whopping 14 games, and smoking the opposition. He has the Broncos in 2nd, Raiders in 3rd, and has the Chargers limping in at 4th place.
Wade is not as convinced on the Chiefs, as many teams experience a Super Bowl hangover, especially young teams with not enough focus. He still has them to win the division, but with only 10 wins, and 1 more than the Broncos. He also thinks that the Chargers will be a surprise this year, as the heat is off, Rivers is gone, and a whole new dynamic enters the locker room. If any team tests positive for Covid, Wade thinks it will be the Raiders, as you can catch anything in Vegas.

Who do you like? Who do you have to win it all?

Get in touch, follow us, and make sure you come to one of our events once this season gets kicking.

Sleeveless Bill

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Hold on sports fans, we have a new category to lump Bill Belichick in…actor!
Sure, he’s done a bit of acting when he pretended not to know about Aaron Hernandez, or that he didn’t think that Tom Brady was leaving, or even acting when it came to knowing nothing about Robert Kraft and his mayo-laden massage sessions, but this time he is in a real ad.

Subway has taken over from Papa John’s as the food of the NFL, and has chosen Patriots coach Bill Belichick as their frontman.
He’s the first guy to jump into the role since Jared got busted for trying to punch his 6 inch card at local high schools and Subway had to take a commercial break for a few years.

Can Bill act? Hell no.
Is it as painful to watch as Tom Brady sliding head first into a tackle? Yes.
Do you think that Bill actually eats at Subway? Hells no.

At any rate, it is nice to kick off the NFL again, and those tummy jitters that come with the start of an impending season.
The Patriots are kind of like a sub…they have a white bread bottom, lots of flavour on offence, a smothering sauce of a defence, and Cam Newton is like the pineapple and jalapeño you throw on just to make it yours. It might be gross to taste this season, but that’s the way they made it.

What’s your favourite NFL food?

 

FanDraft your Draft

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Holy crap! The NFL is finally here in an eerie new way. Sure there’s a global pandemic wrecking havoc on our way of life, but football is back, so screw you Covid.

As the pumpkin spice springs back to life on the shelves, so do the Fantasy Football magazines, beckoning us to buy them to flip through those crispy pages on extended toilet breaks. Maybe magazines are old school, but there’s nothing like the nostalgia of dipping through the stats as you’re dropping the kids off at the pool.

Having run numerous drafts, the worst thing is the paperwork. And the alcohol. If you’re going to be a commish, make sure you don’t get too wasted or you’ll have a bugger of a next day trying to remember who had who and in what order.

Good thing there’s FanDraft, a wicked piece of NFL Drafting software that makes your draft simple and fun. With the pandemic blowing out the fun of a Draft Day outing, you can use FanDraft to virtually pump up your party, teaming it with streaming software for a fun few hours of bonding.

Here are some of the key features that makes FanDraft so wicked easy cool.

Draft Boards

Remember the days of the big old draft boards on cardboard that had sticky names on them? There was always one guy who had to build them, order the name tags, or worse-having to write them out manually. With FanDraft the board is a big screen of all the names, ordered in whichever way you like. The commish can switch between the DraftBoard, as well as top players by category and a précis of whatever guys you have drafted thus far. If you make a mistake or a glitch, the commish can simply fix it and the draft is paused until it’s ready to go. The players are also ordered by colour for position, so you can easily see what positions you still have to fill on your roster.

Draft Reports

In the olde days, the draft was written in a notebook, and some schmuck had to enter all the data into a document that would then be shared to the group. Some of you still do that? Damn! With FanDraft as soon as your draft is done you can export the results into an series of documents for the league and each player. This data is just a  copy & paste into whichever app you’re using. The process for a whole league can take less than 5 minutes and you’re ready to go.

Remote Drafting

Like any remote engagement, it all depends on the connection of the devices to really get one going. FanDraft has used an online method previously with increasing success each year. With the new platform for drafting, this is a fun way for everyone to play along in real time. Again your connection speed is going to be the key wherever you are, so run a few dry runs to see how it goes. Careful, some guys get pissed when they see what ‘could have been.’

Music & Pictures

It’s nice to have some tunes when you’re drafting, and FanDraft allows each player to choose 3 songs for their walk-ons. It’s a fun little addition, especially if you like to burn one of your fellow players. There has to be a loser every year, and why not rub it in with some cheesy songs to remind them of their loss? You can also add images, which are pretty handy when you want to see who’s on the clock.

Clock Management

There’s always one person who takes so bloody long, even in the early rounds. Make them pay by changing the selection clock to a shorter length. If you can get the draft down to 60 seconds per choice, you can get a good round down to under an hour. Some people might like the pause of a long and chatty draft, & other people have shit to do.

Conclusion

FanDraft is totally worth it. If you want to run an easy and efficient draft, this program will help you help you in so many ways. We love it so much, we want to give you 15% off the pro version with our promo code ‘FANDRAFTUK‘.
Just go here, sign up and start drafting. You can do as many drafts as you like, so have some fun.

https://fandraft.com/

Here’s a video that will help you run through how it works.

Heating Up-Podcast

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We should be enjoying the NFL preseason right now, but 2020 had some other plans. We’re still left with many lingering questions about the potential of the 2020/21 NFL season, and with summer winding down and autumn looming, it’s starting to heat up.

Wade & Ryan take a break from doing nothing to deliver a blistering podcast-literally. With an unending heat wave in London (no really), the boys sweat it out to prognosticate on the upcoming NFL.
They tackle a myriad of topics and issues around the NFL season so that you don’t have to.

What if Tom Brady Dies?

Shocking headline, but what if a high profile player dies of Covid? It’s a morbid thought, but it’s one that could be on the minds of everyone in the NFL. How will they be able to manage a bubble, and keep everyone safe?

McCoy is a Buc

Congrats LeSeann, you have now joined one of the oldest teams in the NFL. McCoy is quietly making his rounds to every NFL team, before he sets his sights on every XFL team. What will Shady being to an already high powered offence? He was set aside by the Chiefs in the SuperBowl, so how will TB12 find ways to use and abuse him?

Sky Sports NFL

Congrats to Sky Sports for signing a new NFL deal securing 5 more years of American football in the UK. For anyone who doesn’t have Gamepass, Sky sports is an essential element for any NFL fan in the UK. The new deal means that we will have more football programming on a new, dedicated channel. There is also the potential for some UK organically created content for fans. Ahem…two Canadian comedians talking NFL? Just sayin’.

Saturday NFL

If the NCAA Football season blows up as it looks like it will, what will the NFL do with those nights?
Under an archaic TV rule, the NFL wasn’t allowed to compete with high school and college games, but if all of those are cancelled, will the NFL start showing games on those nights? It could be a punch for UK fans, as those games would most likely be schedule at night, meaning we won’t see them until the wee hours. More games, more nights, more NFL. Hooray?

London Viewings

Sadly, it doesn’t look like many places will be keen to show the NFL on Sunday nights in the UK. Sports bars won’t be pushing for late Sundays in this ‘new normal’, and casino’s are a petrie dish of virus potential. We asked UK fans where you plan on watching the games this season and a whopping 90% said at home. We will be working to develop some new ways to watch this season. Watch this space.  Stay safe and keep in touch.

NFL Girlfriends-Part 2

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What would it be like to date an NFL QB if their female equivalent was just like them? Terrifying? Weird? Or just a big ole turn on?

Now before you get your egos offended or start to claim sexism or cognitive dissonance that turns you into an almighty troll. it’s just for fun ok? If you like to get easily offended, go watch some ‘Karen’ videos. This is purely the art of lampoon…and fantasy. Let’s just call it ‘Fan-poon’. Maybe I’ll have a rethink here.

Since someone took the liberty of Facetuning these NFL stars, let’s take a look at what dating them might be like. Who would be your ideal QB girlfriend?

Patricia Mahomes

She just got PAAAIIIDDDDD! Patricia is know NFL elite, somewhere what it would be like if a Kardashian was in the NFL. She’s cute, talented, and everyone loves her. This of course makes you insanely jealous, and you will most likely sabotage this relationship while she is completely innocent. She is a true ‘out of your league’ kind of girlfriend, and you can never really see what she sees in you.
Your friends can’t believe she’s with you, and her exes are always calling in the middle of the night and hanging up.
She’s also richer than you, and acts way cooler.
You will always tell your friends about her, and in the end no one will ever believe she dated you as she goes on to bigger and better things.

Jeri Goff

If anyone in the league looks like a true ‘Karen’, it’s Jeri Goff. She’s a true Cali girl, and loves the sunshine, the ocean, and of course the attention. She’ll always tell you how close she was to ‘making it’, but you feel sad for her the more she talks about it. Her parents split when she was young, so her daddy issues follow her around like a duck that’s been imprinted by humans.
She’s always talking up her ‘squad’, but you can see in their eyes that most of them would toss her off a cliff in a second.
When she’s not creeping through your phone, she’s saying things in public & under her breath that makes you question her sanity.
She may or probably did bang a few of your friends.

Daxi Prescott

I ain’t she’s a gold digger, but all of her friends are. So there’s that. Daxi likes to be the center of attention, with ‘all eyes on her.’ While she might not necessarily deserve the attention, she has a lot of fans and don’t you ever get in the way of her hype train. Does she have the goods to be a partner for life? Doubtful. She refuses a prenup, wants a bigger ring than all of her friends, and you’re pretty sure that she buys Instagram followers. She’s big, she’s strong, she has a heck of a temper.
Still you hold on to her so that no one else has her, even if you think there might be something better down the pipeline in a few years.

Jamie Garropolo

Jamie is an absolute smoke-show that draws attention wherever she goes. She turns heads, drop jaws, and trip over her own feet sometimes You’re not sure if she’s ‘the one’ or you are totally blinded and she is a total idiot. She’s calm, cool, collected and has a bit of baggage from her ex.
Did she really leave him, or did he dump her because he was still in love with his ex?
Whatever the answer, you really wish she would stop talking about it.
Last year was supposed to be ‘her year’, but with all of the crap going on in the world right now, you just want to enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Big Bertha

You know she has a troubled past, but boy can she ball! She has a history of loads of drama, and the posse she hangs out with use to be nothing but problems. She works hard, plays hard, and looks awful in a beard…but then again why would she look good? She’s put on a bit of weight lately, but that just makes her work harder. She might also shoplift from Walmart, but you just tend to turn the other way. She’s ‘been rode hard and put away wet’ more times than she can count, but that’s where she gets that winning smile. You can be hard on her, but deep down you think she might have one more magical moment. She’ll also never leave you.

Who would be your ideal QB gf? I think I would have to settle for a milfy Jim McMahon from the 85 Bears. Not only to satisfy my nostalgia for all things of that team, but also because you know she always has great sunglasses. And probably a meth problem…which is why she has no teeth and is so skinny.

Follow us, subscribe, stay safe.

 

 

Lady QBs-1

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Lockdown has led to lunacy! Have you noticed?
One of the triggering elements that I have noticed is that the more bored people get, the more they play around with apps and memes to occupy the darkness that envelopes our everyday life.
Case in point-NFL QBs as ladies.

FaceApp is one of those hokey apps that allows you to cross the gender barrier to see what you would look like as a member of the opposite sex. This self-serving digital switch not only allows you to revel in your curious side, but also gives your mates the opportunity to rank how they would ‘do you.’
Nothing creepy about this at all.

It was only a matter of time then that someone would take a look at some of the biggest names in the NFL and think, ‘yep, it’s your time.’
As if racism wasn’t a hot enough issue, let’s toss a little misogyny in for good measure.
Of course I kid, but it seems like everyone has their knickers in such a knot these days it’s hard to be able to joke about anything.

As a comedian however, I reserve the right to be able to throw around some playful banter.
Therefore I have decided to look at some of the best QB face-swaps and measurements their potential as a girlfriend.
No lady bashing here, just equating their dateability with some of their on and off the field misadventures.
A lampoon of all their foibles and fuck-ups.
If this offends you…seriously…just go away.

Here we go.

Thomasina Brady

First off she’s a cheater. You’ve heard it from everyone, and even worse there’s a rumour she might deflate your balls. Don’t get me wrong she’s a stone cold stunner, and can turn any bad situation into a good one at the last minute.
Don’t worry about her wanting to share her food with you, as she’s on some weird diet where she only eats odd plants and nuts. The burger and fries are all yours.
While Thomasina is a trophy wife who you can see staying with forever, chances are she’s going to fuck off to Florida with her big friend Roberta Gronk to see out there retirement.
Doubtful she will let you keep any of her fancy rings when you split either.

Drew Brees

No need to change the first name, as Drew swings both ways in this scenario. If you want to date this one, you better have deep pockets, as Drew loves the bling. This ‘Diamond Lady’ is known to blow half her wad on the sparkly trinkets, but don’t worry-she couldn’t spot a fake if jumped on her finger.
Drew does have a big weakness when it comes to social media postings, as she often will post something without thinking. Most people know her intentions are good, but you might want to wear a helmet on this ride, as she is known to backpedal.

Erin Rodgers

Whatever you do, don’t bring up her family. The Rodgers clan love to make money off Erin’s success and her sister even made an appearance on a reality show to capitalise off of her fame.
If you’re looking for a drama-free relationship, don’t stop here.
Erin is known for her fiery personality & competitiveness. She is more likely to beat you at beer-chugging, wing eating and arm-wrestling then lose it on you for being a ‘loser.’
She’s the kind of girl to get you through the end of the night, but will probably end up dumping you behind you back and moving on quickly.

Lamara Jackson

Imagine a girl who can do everything better than you, but is too humble to make you feel about it.
She’s the kind of girl your friends would ask ‘what is she doing with him’ while secretly making fantasies about her and what life would be like if she was theirs.
Young, hot, and full of energy, Lamara is most likely to get tired of you, but when she dumps you, you will feel like it is totally your fault.
She has a bit of a chip on her shoulder from last year, which is only going to make her hotter in the future.
When you think of Lamara, you will always ask ‘what if’?

Michelle Trubisky

Michelle is what happens when you meet someone online, but they turn out to be nothing like what you were promised.
The relationship starts out fast and exciting, until you realise that she has serious spatial awareness.
She is the Mr. Magoo of girlfriends.
The kind that leaves the car in drive when she gets out, constantly loses her phone, her keys, and trips over her own feet. When you get frustrated she cries, then you feel even worse.
As soon as you started dating her you realise that it was a mistake, so you keep doing things so that she’ll dump you.


Jody Burrow

‘She’s way too young!’ That’s what all your friends say as soon as they meet her.
You try to explain that she’s out of college and was so hot and smart there, and you can’t wait to move her back to your shitty hometown so that everyone can be blown away by her talents.
Deep down however, you’re not sure yourself and every time you go out in public you wonder what people are saying about you.
Will she stay with you forever, turn out to be a bust, or end up leaving you once she gets bored of this town.
She’s too young…wait a few years.

Of course, what do I know…I’m single and have a horrible track record with dating women. I have enough crazies in my back pocket to form a new ‘Suicide Squad’.

I’ll be back with another edition of Lady QBs. Who would be your ideal QB to date.
No judgement, no gender bias, just a fun look at the world we live in.
Stay safe, stay sane, bring back the NFL.