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2021 Wins

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Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
A phrase you might hear ripping through the cavernous casinos of Las Vegas of olde, but not so much these days.
But now we’ll take a look at the 2021 wins.

British betting giant William Hill has already taken a look at the 2021 NFL teams, and released a set of projected win totals for teams this season.
If you’re a betting fan, you can look at these odds and think ‘malarky, I’ll have a bet on that!’
Or you might get pumped up with anger that the betting world thinks so lowly of your team.
Or…you might be a Jets fan.

It comes as no surprise that the ‘super league’ teams of the NFL have the most predicted wins for the 2021 season.
The Kansas City Chiefs once again emerge as the big favourites, with the pundits picking them to win 12 games in 2021.
Of course, it doesn’t matter how many wins you get if you’re going to eventually lose to the Buffalo Bills.

Super Bowl champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers are heralded to win 11.5 games this season (yes, .5 of a game), in a testament to the champs tuning up their late season surge in 2020 to open a bigger can oh whoop-ass.
The champ always has a target on their head, and the Bucs will be ‘the team’ other teams will use to set as their playoff bar.
This number might even go up higher if Julian Edelman decides to jump out of the broadcasting booth.

Green Bay Packers and Baltimore Ravens are both predicted to win 11 games by William Hill, despite lingering questions on both sides.
Aaron Rodgers has been asking questions all off-season like ‘Why am I filling in for Alex Trebek?’, ‘Why do people care about my personal life’, ‘Can I host Jeopardy full time’ & ‘They’re never going to get me a #1 receiver, are they?’
Lambeau is turning into an NFC north drama, and if the Packers don’t make it far enough to choke in the NFC final again, maybe they will show Jordan some Love?

Baltimore is an interesting pick for 11 wins given their up and down past 2 years.
The Ravens are missing several key players to make a threatening push for the playoffs, and unless Lamar Jackson is given a porta-potty-tent on the sidelines, his heroic ‘number two’ performances may become less frequent.
Baltimore feels like they’re still discovering the pronoun that they want to describe them.
Are they a ‘running team’, a ‘passing threat’, ‘Lamar’s Lament’ or a ‘Harbaugh-apocalypse’?

Pumping out with a projected 10.5 wins are the LA Rams and Buffalo Bills, both of whom will be massive threats to the two previous teams.

The Rams finally have their QB to go with that staunch defence and solid coaching by McVay. Unlike the previous Rams appearance in the Super Bowl, this feels like a whole new team with more options and attack than ever seen before.
LA will be looking to showcase their ‘post-off’ body, and the NFC is going to see a whole different Rams team.
Look out Green Bay.

Buffalo Bills predicted to win less games than the Baltimore Ravens? Pishaw! Josh Allen was the sweetheart of the league last year, racking up loads of touchdowns, highlights and ‘aww shucks’ moments.
Buffalo has always been that underdog team that America forgets about, and Canada wishes was theirs.
Although their stadium sucks, it starts snowing in September, and Rachel Bush posts more Insta than the city itself…they have wings.
Both chicken and spiritual wings that guide them through collapsable tables.
And this season, the Bills should be flying high.

Among some of the other win projections that seem off:

Cleveland Browns-10 Wins

The Browns won 10 games in 2020, so why are they predicted to win the same amount this year? Cleveland is a way better team than last year and were a victim of circumstance as much as they were tools of their own ineptitude.
Browns will win more than 10.

Indianapolis Colts-10 Wins

It’s the Carson Wentz led Colts, with a projected win total of 10. Really? The Colts limped into the last half of the 2020 season like they ran half the Grand National before dumping the rider and trotting along to the finish.
They had one of the best O-lines and used Jonathan Taylor well to gash for yards…then they lost tough games.
With other teams spending huge and others looking for fresh blood, it’s hard to believe that they can win 10 in 2021.

Are you ready for the NFL Draft?
We will be making our predictions shortly, as well as on our next podcast.

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April Memes

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March NFL showers bring April Memes.
Welcome to our fun selection of funny captioned photos for this month.
There has been plenty of activity in the league over the NFL offseason, and luckily the pithy magic go memes allows us to perfectly sum up some of the funniest moments of 2021 into a nifty little photo album of nostalgia.

Like bread, NFL memes have a short shelf life, and these posts don’t hold much water a few weeks down the line.
Let’s enjoy the moment then shall we?

Here are a few great ones to get your month of April Memes going.
If you have any other memes, please send them our way.

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Super Memes

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What a heck of a SuperBowl! Sure, it wasn’t that great if you hated Tom Brady, or if you were a Patrick Mahomes fan, but what a game! Ready for some Super Memes?

Every Monday morning QB went through the motions of what ‘went wrong’ for the Chiefs, and how they were able to get blown out so much.
The answer to this is defence and coaching-something that the Chiefs were unable to counter with.

Of course the best way to enjoy the aftermath of the SuperBowl is to reflect on all of the memes that were flying around afterwards.  Bless all of you out there who take the time and energy to make these little creative nuggets.

In keeping with this, we offer you some of the best memes we have found since the Super Bowl.
Enjoy!

Super Prop Bets

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The SuperBowl is only a few days away, which means it’s time to start thinking of some of the prop, or novelty bets on offer for this year. Sure, you can go the traditional route of betting on Gatorade colour, length of the anthem or whether Tony Romo is going to mention Robert Kraft’s favourite massage oil.

With so many oddities to bet on in this Super Bowl, why not contact your bookie and go hard? Why bet on the basic bitch package, when you can amp it up for Super Bowl 55.
These are some of our Super Prop Bets.

Trump Blows up Florida +165

Trump lost the election, the presidency and some would say the plot as he returned to his Florida retirement home to have Melania soak his boo-boos. Those who know Trump reckon he is seeking some sweet justice, and a public event like the Super Bowl is all he needs. Previous villains have tried to blow up the Super Bowl, but of anyone-Trump probably can pull it off.
If Trump blows it up before halftime, at least we will miss the Weeknd.

Tiffany Rivers Gives Birth +225

Phillip Rivers retired this year to focus on family, so it figures that his wife Tiffany is due to give birth again soon. Look for Tiffany to shoot baby number 23 across the field at halftime, with the umbilical cord firing over midfield as Phillip tosses a pass that snaps the cord, bringing baby and mama softly down on the field. Knowing PR though, he’ll throw the ball short and probably knock out the midwife.

Number of Covid Mentions +/- 300

Look for 300 to be the magic number threshold for mentions of Covid during the SuperBowl. 300 mentions in a 4 hour broadcast is actually reasonable, considering Covid was the star of the 2020 NFL season. Look for other parlays to add to Covid by adding words like ‘virus’, ‘lockdown’, or ‘Wuhan Flu.’
You could be in for even bigger bucks if a new variant emerges during the game itself.

Lamar Jackson takes a Halftime Dump +220

Look for doody-dropper Lamar Jackson to break up halftime by dropping the kids off at the pool, then mentioning it in social media. It could be something obscure, like calling someone a ‘wet-wipe’, or following ‘Charmin’. Everyone plays better when Lamar takes a dump, so look for shout-outs from his colleagues and friends encouraging Lamar to ‘go deep.’

Corona Admits it Caused the Virus  +340

After one of the nastiest trading years on record, Corona bravely fought off the initial link with their beer and a watery death. As the world transitioned from ‘Corona’ to ‘Covid’, the brewer deftly hired Snoop Dogg to help them ‘coolify’ their brand. Look for Corona to go all out on this one, not only boldly claiming that they started the virus, but they now have the only vaccine. This could be a bold brand move.

How many crappy new CBS sitcoms will be promoted? +225

+/- 4 . It’s been a tough year for TV, and CBS so look for them to throw down the gauntlet of fun (or faunt-let) as they go ‘all in’ on wacky sitcoms, promoting 4 new losers on Sunday. Fortunately all of the sitcoms will star Mayim Bialik and have something to do with cats, loneliness and an underlying current of sadness through the canned laughter. ‘What happens when a talking cat saves a suicidal middle-aged woman? It’s ‘Cat Got Your Back’, Tuesdays on CBS!’ The best bet is to wager on how long some of these shows last.
If we’re lucky, one of the sitcoms will be cancelled before the game is done.

Dwayne Haskins watches from a strip club +175

Dwayne Haskins loves his mama, and morally bereft strippers equally. While teammates in Washington bemoaned his lack of professionalism and misogyny, he always made sure to visit the ladies after every game he left early. Look for Haskins on social media to post something cryptic about ‘making it rain’, ‘love in the club’, or even using a weave as a mask. Don’t let us down Dwayne.

The Rock will be seen -250

Dwayne the Rock Johnson is the biggest movie star in the world, so it goes to reckon that he will be seen somehow during the Superbowl. The most obvious would be to show a trailer for one of his movies, but look for the Rock to do bigger.  Maybe an XFL ad, pulling Kevin Hart out of his pockets, or something to do with his eyebrows. Most likely? The Rock will actually be shooting a movie anyhow that somehow crosses over to the Super Bowl. Classic Johnson.

A Karen will be Shown -200

2020 was a hell of a year to be named ‘Karen’. You could have spent 50 years dedicating yourself to helping others, but if you’re named ‘Karen’, it doesn’t matter. 2020 owns you now.
Since the identification of the Karen, we have been all made painfully aware of how to spot the obnoxiousness. There might be only 20000 fans attending the game, but chances are there are a few Karen’s down there in FLA. Get your money ready.

Something Florida will Happen -300

The further you go into Florida, the more of a spiral of humanity you encounter. Laws of natural selection and decorum quickly go out the door. Florida Man Marries a Manatee. Florida woman Swallows 4lbs of Meth and Lives. Perhaps it is the proximity to the famed Bermuda Triangle that brings out the chaos, or maybe it’s inbreeding. Whatever it is, bet on Florida first.

What do you have as some of your prop bets? What kind of madness do you see playing out.
If you didn’t already know, we made these up. But if you can find a bookmaker willing to take this action, please do it!

 

Super Sim

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If there has been any year that has felt like we’ve been living in a simulator, it has to have been 2020. With Super Bowl 55 peaking up around the corner, we went to the experts to deliver us a Super Sim of the game.

Conspiracy theorists are quick to point out all of the variables in play that lead them to believe that this is all some sort of cruel prank played on humanity by some vicious deity, or that our planet is somehow in a shoebox of some celestial toddler who looks at us from time to time.

Given what’s happened in the league and in the world at large, it’s not hard to see how.
Tom Brady runs another team in a different division to the big show, Aaron loses in the big show, Bill Belichick is pixelating, and AB is behaving. What is up with this world?

One thing that simulations are good for is Madden. Although rarely close to correct, running Madden simulations is a fun way to see how the game might play out if a computer ran the numbers for a few times. There are actually geeks out there who will run this game through numerous AI machines for a more correct prediction. These are the people who usually whoop you at DraftKings.

For this video we tap into Bobby V Gaming who has run his Madden to predict the big game on Sunday. These two teams did play on Week 12, when the Chiefs edged the Bucs 27-24, but how will it go down this time?

Final Score in the Simulation:
Chiefs 21 Bucs 16

We will be throwing down loads of Super Bowl predictions and fun throughout the whole week, so watch this space for more.