NFL in London

National Football League in London

bill belichick

NFL Girlfriends-Part 2

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What would it be like to date an NFL QB if their female equivalent was just like them? Terrifying? Weird? Or just a big ole turn on?

Now before you get your egos offended or start to claim sexism or cognitive dissonance that turns you into an almighty troll. it’s just for fun ok? If you like to get easily offended, go watch some ‘Karen’ videos. This is purely the art of lampoon…and fantasy. Let’s just call it ‘Fan-poon’. Maybe I’ll have a rethink here.

Since someone took the liberty of Facetuning these NFL stars, let’s take a look at what dating them might be like. Who would be your ideal QB girlfriend?

Patricia Mahomes

She just got PAAAIIIDDDDD! Patricia is know NFL elite, somewhere what it would be like if a Kardashian was in the NFL. She’s cute, talented, and everyone loves her. This of course makes you insanely jealous, and you will most likely sabotage this relationship while she is completely innocent. She is a true ‘out of your league’ kind of girlfriend, and you can never really see what she sees in you.
Your friends can’t believe she’s with you, and her exes are always calling in the middle of the night and hanging up.
She’s also richer than you, and acts way cooler.
You will always tell your friends about her, and in the end no one will ever believe she dated you as she goes on to bigger and better things.

Jeri Goff

If anyone in the league looks like a true ‘Karen’, it’s Jeri Goff. She’s a true Cali girl, and loves the sunshine, the ocean, and of course the attention. She’ll always tell you how close she was to ‘making it’, but you feel sad for her the more she talks about it. Her parents split when she was young, so her daddy issues follow her around like a duck that’s been imprinted by humans.
She’s always talking up her ‘squad’, but you can see in their eyes that most of them would toss her off a cliff in a second.
When she’s not creeping through your phone, she’s saying things in public & under her breath that makes you question her sanity.
She may or probably did bang a few of your friends.

Daxi Prescott

I ain’t she’s a gold digger, but all of her friends are. So there’s that. Daxi likes to be the center of attention, with ‘all eyes on her.’ While she might not necessarily deserve the attention, she has a lot of fans and don’t you ever get in the way of her hype train. Does she have the goods to be a partner for life? Doubtful. She refuses a prenup, wants a bigger ring than all of her friends, and you’re pretty sure that she buys Instagram followers. She’s big, she’s strong, she has a heck of a temper.
Still you hold on to her so that no one else has her, even if you think there might be something better down the pipeline in a few years.

Jamie Garropolo

Jamie is an absolute smoke-show that draws attention wherever she goes. She turns heads, drop jaws, and trip over her own feet sometimes You’re not sure if she’s ‘the one’ or you are totally blinded and she is a total idiot. She’s calm, cool, collected and has a bit of baggage from her ex.
Did she really leave him, or did he dump her because he was still in love with his ex?
Whatever the answer, you really wish she would stop talking about it.
Last year was supposed to be ‘her year’, but with all of the crap going on in the world right now, you just want to enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Big Bertha

You know she has a troubled past, but boy can she ball! She has a history of loads of drama, and the posse she hangs out with use to be nothing but problems. She works hard, plays hard, and looks awful in a beard…but then again why would she look good? She’s put on a bit of weight lately, but that just makes her work harder. She might also shoplift from Walmart, but you just tend to turn the other way. She’s ‘been rode hard and put away wet’ more times than she can count, but that’s where she gets that winning smile. You can be hard on her, but deep down you think she might have one more magical moment. She’ll also never leave you.

Who would be your ideal QB gf? I think I would have to settle for a milfy Jim McMahon from the 85 Bears. Not only to satisfy my nostalgia for all things of that team, but also because you know she always has great sunglasses. And probably a meth problem…which is why she has no teeth and is so skinny.

Follow us, subscribe, stay safe.

 

 

Podcast-The New NFL

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The NFL is coming back, but it certainly isn’t going to look like it did in the past.
Players getting temperature checks between plays, cardboard cutouts of fans with EA Sports fan noise pumped into an empty stadium.
Buffalo will fare even worse, as no fans will be thrown through tailgate tables, and a dildo-less field for Patriots games. Zero dildos.
Are you happy Covid-19?

In this safe distanced podcast, Wade and Ryan look at some of the top NFL news in this sports bereft landscape.
If tumble weeds were to somehow start rolling across our plains, these guys would bet on them

Among some of the other NFL news to discuss:

NFL Preseason

We all know how much we love preseason games! Players you have never heard of trying to make that crack at the final roster, while named players try to get their shit together after a fat summer.
The league has reduced the preseason to 2 weeks, but that could be zero weeks if the NFLPA has anything to say about it.

Johnny Manziel

Johnny Manziel has finally left the field. JM has publicly posted what all of us have known for years, Johnny Football is no more. Don’t shed a tear for him yet, he still has big plans.
Let’s not forget that he was BANNED from the CFL. How much of a douche can you be if even Canadian football has to ban you. We still don’t know what it was for exactly, but it has to be nasty.

Ocho is a Nice Guy

He’s got a big mouth, and even bigger heart. Chad Ocho Johnson has been giving away his own cash to people in need. He’s promised to give $245k away, and has so far delivered over $150k to fans across the states. While he may never play in the NFL again, this guy needs to be rewarded someone how being an awesome human. Give him a chance at game pundit.

Redskins

It’s that time again. What are we going to do about Washington? Loads of sponsors & investors have had enough of a BLM movement that has seen them seemingly ignore the plights of protestors.
Will Snyder and co. finally give in to the public and change their Skin? If there was any time to do it, now might be a good one.

Cam Newton

The old man has a job, which is something you wouldn’t think to hear in this climate.
Cam is with the Patriots and everyone seems to have lost their rag. He hasn’t played in a while and was plagued by injuries and weekly beatings by opposing defences, so it will be intriguing to see what he can bring to the table. A title seems too lofty.

Enjoy the podcast. Have a listen and a laugh, and reach out for anything.

Stay safe.

Stronger Together

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The world is hurting right now, and everyone is struggling to find the right words. Sometimes, it’s better just to say nothing & listen. As two white boys from rural Canada, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.
Wade & Ryan focus on the NFL this podcast, all the news and fun stuff.

Loads to cover in this episode, despite there seeming like nothing is happening in this offseason. Some of they things the guys touch on in this episode include:

NFL 2020 Season

What’s going to happen this season with Corona & the NFL? Who knows? Following the NBA, NASCAR & the forever fighting MLB, there are some key things to look at in the ways sports will be played this season. Games will initially be played with no fans, but that looks like it will change as it progresses. The NFL will never be the same again however.

Dak & Cam

Two big QBs with big questions over their future in 2020. Dak’s contract is playing out like a Mexican novella in what is truth or drama, and this virus has changed the way future contracts will be negotiated. Dak will be a Cowboy, it just depends on for how much and how long.
Cam is an interesting treat. He is still young enough & talented enough to ball in the league, but he might have to take a backup role to be able to see this season through.

New Rules

Auto replays on all scoring plays are one of the big new ones. This will help erase and secure some of the garbage and glory plays that were mislabelled in previous years.
There are also new rules regarding popping a defenceless player, so that guys don’t get their bell rung on non plays.
Game clock rules have also been introduced after Belichick took advantage of dead ball rules to sustain the play clock for more yards. Classic Bill!

Please make sure you follow and subscribe to us for all the latest NFL news.

Have a listen.

Passing Leaders

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Drew Brees is a beast, with some of the most successive passing seasons in the NFL.

Horse faced Peyton Manning is still the champ, loading down a season where he literally lit up the league when he was aided by a get team.

Brady was able to string a good season as well, but his deep ball years look to be behind him. He has some wheels this year in Tampa, so he might finally be able to do something solid.

Will Mahomes or Jackson take over the helm? With another game added this season there’s a chance. Many records are about to get broken. Will anyone be there to witness them?

100th Podcast

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100 episodes? Wowza! Wade & Ryan want to thank all of you for listening, being a part of this legacy, responding, as well as to our previous guests including Callum Squires, Chapman Maddox, Andrei Sere, & many more.
It’s a pleasure to be able to share our NFL bs with you, and appreciate you listening to our malarky as we endure these changing NFL times.
And the times are a changing.

So corona huh? That’s going to mess up the 2020 NFL season.
How bad will it be? No one knows, but the games for fans in stadium & pubs is forever changed.
Us NFL fans are going to have to find a new way forward.

The guys also jump on to the following topics:

PGA & NFL Stars

Brady & Tiger vs Manning & Mickelson. Anyone excited for this epic match? Sure, it’s not NFL-but these 4 dudes trash talking is going to be a magically experience for fans. We will have some betting odds coming out as the game approaches, but make no doubt about it, Manning is a far superior golfer here.

Gurley Gets Paid

Gotta love Todd Gurley. He gets dumped then wants his ex to give him back his shit. The Rams owe Gurley 5 million and he wants that right now. He has given them until June 1st, and he is going to force their hand on social media. Will it work? Loads of other athletes haven’t been paid in ages, so it will be interesting to see who supports him.

MNF

Booger is picked, then flicked against the wall to dry as we all sleep. Joe is joining him. We in the UK never really got to experience the full insight of Booger due to time delays, but maybe we can be thankful. What happens to a fired NFL talk-mouth who will struggle to get a stateside job? Look for him on Sky in 2020.

NFL Schedule

The schedule is out, and the AFC East looks like a tough playground to jump in. All the teams have to not only beat the crap out of each other, but also some of the top AFC teams. Wade & Ryan break down the big scheduled games, and look at the key dates to watch.

Make sure you stay safe, stay clean, & keep listening.