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NFL Girlfriends-Part 2

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What would it be like to date an NFL QB if their female equivalent was just like them? Terrifying? Weird? Or just a big ole turn on?

Now before you get your egos offended or start to claim sexism or cognitive dissonance that turns you into an almighty troll. it’s just for fun ok? If you like to get easily offended, go watch some ‘Karen’ videos. This is purely the art of lampoon…and fantasy. Let’s just call it ‘Fan-poon’. Maybe I’ll have a rethink here.

Since someone took the liberty of Facetuning these NFL stars, let’s take a look at what dating them might be like. Who would be your ideal QB girlfriend?

Patricia Mahomes

She just got PAAAIIIDDDDD! Patricia is know NFL elite, somewhere what it would be like if a Kardashian was in the NFL. She’s cute, talented, and everyone loves her. This of course makes you insanely jealous, and you will most likely sabotage this relationship while she is completely innocent. She is a true ‘out of your league’ kind of girlfriend, and you can never really see what she sees in you.
Your friends can’t believe she’s with you, and her exes are always calling in the middle of the night and hanging up.
She’s also richer than you, and acts way cooler.
You will always tell your friends about her, and in the end no one will ever believe she dated you as she goes on to bigger and better things.

Jeri Goff

If anyone in the league looks like a true ‘Karen’, it’s Jeri Goff. She’s a true Cali girl, and loves the sunshine, the ocean, and of course the attention. She’ll always tell you how close she was to ‘making it’, but you feel sad for her the more she talks about it. Her parents split when she was young, so her daddy issues follow her around like a duck that’s been imprinted by humans.
She’s always talking up her ‘squad’, but you can see in their eyes that most of them would toss her off a cliff in a second.
When she’s not creeping through your phone, she’s saying things in public & under her breath that makes you question her sanity.
She may or probably did bang a few of your friends.

Daxi Prescott

I ain’t she’s a gold digger, but all of her friends are. So there’s that. Daxi likes to be the center of attention, with ‘all eyes on her.’ While she might not necessarily deserve the attention, she has a lot of fans and don’t you ever get in the way of her hype train. Does she have the goods to be a partner for life? Doubtful. She refuses a prenup, wants a bigger ring than all of her friends, and you’re pretty sure that she buys Instagram followers. She’s big, she’s strong, she has a heck of a temper.
Still you hold on to her so that no one else has her, even if you think there might be something better down the pipeline in a few years.

Jamie Garropolo

Jamie is an absolute smoke-show that draws attention wherever she goes. She turns heads, drop jaws, and trip over her own feet sometimes You’re not sure if she’s ‘the one’ or you are totally blinded and she is a total idiot. She’s calm, cool, collected and has a bit of baggage from her ex.
Did she really leave him, or did he dump her because he was still in love with his ex?
Whatever the answer, you really wish she would stop talking about it.
Last year was supposed to be ‘her year’, but with all of the crap going on in the world right now, you just want to enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Big Bertha

You know she has a troubled past, but boy can she ball! She has a history of loads of drama, and the posse she hangs out with use to be nothing but problems. She works hard, plays hard, and looks awful in a beard…but then again why would she look good? She’s put on a bit of weight lately, but that just makes her work harder. She might also shoplift from Walmart, but you just tend to turn the other way. She’s ‘been rode hard and put away wet’ more times than she can count, but that’s where she gets that winning smile. You can be hard on her, but deep down you think she might have one more magical moment. She’ll also never leave you.

Who would be your ideal QB gf? I think I would have to settle for a milfy Jim McMahon from the 85 Bears. Not only to satisfy my nostalgia for all things of that team, but also because you know she always has great sunglasses. And probably a meth problem…which is why she has no teeth and is so skinny.

Follow us, subscribe, stay safe.

 

 

Brady vs Philly

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Are you watching The Match 2, possibly the greatest sports show of 2020? Tom Brady revealed on the show that the Eagles are tougher than anyone & the Falcons weren’t worth the cringe. Eagless fans must be happy. Here are a few things we’ve seen on the show.

Brady Sucks

As much as TB12 can rip up an NFL field he has hit more water in this match than the Kennedy’s. He’s gracious about his failings & cocky when he hits a great shot.

Mickelson is Off

WTF Phil, you’re a pro golfer?! Why is he ducking & ditching? The team in blue is struggling as they move to 18.

Tiger Rocks

Tiger Woods has been beasting it all day, hitting green harder than Mike Tyson. He is killing this game. Him & Peyton are playing this like champions.

Watch the match & let us know what you’re thinking!

2020 Draft Review

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Well that’s a new way of drafting. How about that 2020 NFL Draft?
The world has certainly changed, & the NFL adapted and overcame with one heck of a draft, with a massive audience and a very entertaining Roger Goodell.

Wade & Ryan come together for a safe-distanced podcast to discuss all of the NFL Draft thoughts, as well as looking at some of the top stories in the NFL.
They also look at the other big news in the NFL UK at the moment, including:

NFL 2020 London Games

Who are we kidding? These games aren’t going to happen, and it’s only a matter of time that this will be officially announced. While the NFL is aiming for a 17 game season, it reckons that London will only be a troublesome problem to include in the new world of NFL.
Will the NFL come back to Europe after this whole Corona experience?
Sports viewing will never be the same.

Aaron Rogers

And the Packers select…Jordan Love. Aaron spills his drink, smashes the TV, and calls his agent. What will happen in Green Bay now that they grabbed the young Utah stud? Fast, big arm, and ready for a chance. If Rodgers gets hurt again this season, Love could quickly jump up to number one, as Aaron would look to other NFL pastures.

Denver Broncos

They are really loading up the WRs and RBs in Denver, but will Drew Lock be the answer? The Broncos stuffed a lot of tough teams last year, but could never really find their groove. What will it take to put it all together?

Want to write some stories for our website and social media? Just get in touch and we can publish your stuff.
Stay safe, stay sane, and make sure you watch this space for more NFL news!

Cool Helmets

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The NFL Draft is done, so now we wait. And wait, and wait and wait.
Supposedly the NFL 2020 dates are to be announced on May 9th, but it doesn’t seem very likely that things will be the same.

So to keep things all things NFL and fun, we thought we would share some of the awesomeness out in the NFL community. Take a gander at some of these cool helmets by artist Ted Hyman.
He has taken a very awesome approach to designing these, and it shows that he is an incredible artist.

While no NFL team would be willing to change their logo’s to a crowd-designed format, it is amazing to see what the fans can do when they are bored.

At the very least, it would be cool if these helmets could be added to video games, or other forms of media.

Which one of these helmets is your favourite?

Extended Quarantine Podcast

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The world is in need, and only the NFL can save us.
Ok, a bit dramatic-but that’s how many of us sports fans feel during this bereft period of no sport.

Wade & Ryan safe distance this podcast as they talk about all things corona & NFL.
They break down loads of stories, forecasts, projections, and generally just talk crap for a half-hour. (good crap though).

Some of the stories the guys touch on in this episode:

XFL is Dead

We hardly knew ye. Despite a healthy looking start, the XFL is a now dead league as the creditors circle the McMahon family home. Several suitors are thought to want to buy the league, but is it too late? If the WWE is considered an ‘essential service’, surely the XFL could have tried to claim that too?

San Fran is Lucky

A leading scientist claimed that if the 49ers had won the SuperBowl, then there might have been a huge corona spike in the area due to the parades and gatherings. Kansas City doesn’t have a massive outbreak, so not sure the logic here.

The Browns

A new uniform, and maybe a new attitude? How are the Browns going to overcome a hyped up season that fell apart quicker than a pair of underwear you have been wearing since the virus began. What do they need to do to make their team successful?

Gronk

Gronk smash. Gronk win belt. Gronk like CBD. What about the rumours he would suckle up to TB12 again in Tampa for a repeat of their Boston success? Gronk is doing fine, everyone wants to be like him,

NFL Win Projections

The folks at William Hill have made their predictions for NFL wins next year, and some of the results might surprise you. The guys look at all of the predictions and see how realistic they are.

We will be doing some more content on the draft throughout the week, listen laugh subscribe.
Stay safe, sane and keep the faith for the 2020 season.

Locked Down Podcast

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Locked down & stir crazy? Looking for some good NFL banter? Then you came to the right place, as Wade & Ryan safe distance this housebound podcast.
What’s going on in the league? Will the London games happen? What will I do without football?
All these & more in this fun episode.

It’s a whole different world out there folks, so stay apart & stay safe. If you’re a Dolphins fan, pretend it’s a home game.

Wade & Ryan look at some of the big news in the NFL, and break down a few different topics, including:

London NFL Games

It doesn’t seem likely that these will go on given the current climate. Even if the season is shortened to 14 games, it is unlikely the NFLPA will want to bolt overseas. US games might be safe distanced, or played in different scenarios as well.

Kraft Dinner

Robert Kraft went to China, but not for the reasons you think. He sent the Patriots plane to pick up masks for Boston. What a guy! The masks will be carried by 200 nail salon workers.

Saints

Sean Payton is free and clear and talking nonsense. Holding your power meeting in a brewery? Brees will retire this year? Huh? You still got the fever son.

NFL Trades

Some big QBs on the market here, with Dalton, Winston, Carr & Newton all free game. Where do they end up to start this bizarre year? So many possibilities, so many options.

Subscribe, listen, share & feel free to get in touch. It’s tough out there.

Corona Lockdown

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We’re in lockdown, but the NFL offseason has kept us entertained with some truly magical changes.

Tom Brady is a Buc now? Really? He is the oldest guy in the league, so it does make sense to retire in Florida. Hike up those pants grandpa, it’s a whole new season.

Wade & Ryan are back, & thanks to the magic of baby wipes & a spit wiped microphone they are ready to talk NFL.

The guys break down some of the biggest moves in the NFL, and how they will impact the league going forward. That is..if there is a league.

Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. Practice safe distance, listen to the pros & be vigilant. That goes for Corona & the NFL.

We will have more podcasts ahead, so stay tuned and please reach out if you want to chat as well. We are always looking for writers, so send us your stuff.

 

SuperBowl Quiz

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Bored & missing the NFL? Have you played our Super Bowl Quiz?
Give it a go and see how many you can get correct.

The quiz is focused on the most recent Super Bowl, as well as previous ones played, players and more.
How many can you get correct out of 40 questions?

The quiz has been paced to a difficult level, but don’t worry-you can always pause the video and have a think.
We tried to make it ‘non Google-able’, so that we can try to catch some of you cheaters out there who might just use the internet to do your work for you.

So what’s in it for you? A BetRegal prize pack! This pack includes 4 golf shirts, 4 baseball hats and 4 t-shirts.

Watch the quiz, write down your answers, then email us the answers with ‘SuperBowl Quiz’ being the title of your email to mapleyankeesports@gmail.com
We will draw the winner April 1st.
In the event of a tie, a random name pull of the top teams will determine the winner.
Get your answers in know.

So to recap.

  1. Watch the quiz

  2. Answer the quiz

  3. Email your answers to mapleyankeesports@gmail.com

  4. Title your email ‘SuperBowl Quiz’

  5. April 1st we name the winner.

Good luck, and hope you all are safe, healthy, happy..and ready for the NFL season to begin.

*Prizes will only be mailed to the UK.

Brady Bunches

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The world is going to hell and a hand basket. Still don’t know what that expression fully means, but if there were any hand baskets left on the shelves, I would happily hoard them.

As we all face a global lockdown, the NFL has been pumping at a fevered pace. Trades galore have been shuttling through social media and it can be pretty hard to keep up with what really has been happening.
The one thing that has happened is that Tom Brady is no longer a Patriot.

It’s hard to fully digest that information with what is happening in the world, especially the idea of TB12 moving to Florida & the NFC.
Sure, it makes sense for the oldest guy to retire in Florida-that’s what everybody does.

Now Tom is a member of the Tampa Bucs, and it sends a shockwave of change across the whole league.
The dominance of the Patriots has come to an end…or has it?
Will Belichick give up that easily? Or will he lick his wounds, soft out on the season to draft a QB in 2021?

Brady to the NFC brings with it a whole host of new rivalries. Brees suddenly has to face Tom twice a year at least, and the Bucs have enough speedy receivers for Tom to under throw.

Then there’s the whole Jameis Winston situation, who must be looking at self-isolation as more of a pity party than anything. Will he end up on the Chargers, or will they look to take Cam or Dalton?
There are still many ‘what-if’s in this situation, and too many possibilities to count at this moment.

They best way to deal with this new situation?
Madden.
Trade Tommy to the Bucs, and settle in for a full season.
What are the chances he makes the Super Bowl this year?

 

 

Free Agent Fiesta

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Tom Brady, make up your dang mind! Is what most teams are thinking as TB12 employs his reality tv skills to keep us on the edge of our seats.

Once the Tommy domino falls, loads of other players fall into place. So where do we think some of the top free agent QBs go? Here we go!

Tom Brady

He loves to be a tease! At the end of the day, Tommy’s a company man through & through & it’s doubtful he will piss off Boston fans, as much as the rest of us would revel in it. He’s too much of a Patriot to leave the team like that. Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s only taking meetings so he can plant cameras in their offices.

Andy Dalton

The ginger bear is done with the Bengals, & many teams are looking to court him. He’s got an arm on him…but it sometimes just finds the D. The Bears rode the D all last year, & need to embrace the stark realities of the Mitch years. It’s like being diagnosed with an STD, & they need clean junk. Bengals will draft Joe, & the Bears should get Dalton for a good, short deal.

Marcus Mariota

Must have been tough to be Mariota last year. Watching the team you helped build go a long way on the back of Tannehill. The amount of locker room conversations with abrupt, silent endings must have been endless. He needs to go, but where? He’s going to need to pull a Tannehill & back that thing up, but where? If Cam is certainly back, how healthy will he be? They will need someone with legs & arms, which Mariota has, but for how long?

Phillip Rivers

Cry me a Phillip River, where does he go? All signs point to Indy, as Andrew Luck is outta time. Rivers would get an injection of hope in this role, & could easily lead this team back to contender status. The tools are there…for him to stuff it down the Chargers throats.

Jameis Winston

Jameis threw a bucketload of INTs last season, as well as a whack of TDs, so where does it all go? Brucey baby will probably bring him back for another shot given his new eye surgery. The players like him, the fans tolerate him, & they can probably get him for a steal.

Teddy Bridgewater

Teddy is done with sainthood & ready to christen the field once again. He’s a starter, & should be given the chance to do so. The Chargers offer the perfect home for this to happen. It’s also easy for him, since no one will be watching the games anyway.

Those are our predictions. What do we know though?

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