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Sad Nachos

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Good food can help make a great football game better. Bad food turns a bad game into a travesty.
So what quantifies as bad nachos, or even sad nachos?
Pretty much everything you’ll find at a UK pub chain.

Nachos have been a struggle menu item for most British restaurants.
To many it’s just a matter of ‘putting cheese on crisps’, which rewards the eater with bland taste, sharp edges and no reminder of home.

The first time a North American orders nachos from a ‘Spoons, you quickly realise what kind of mistake you have made.
Shortly after a server appears with a plate of Doritos that have been microwaved covered in some cheese slices. No extra toppings, flavour, or even good corn chips…just plain old Doritos.
It’s the NFL equivalent to showing up to a game, only to find out it’s a New York Jets practice, with only 3rd string players.

Expats quickly learn what NOT to order on a British menu to avoid tainting the taste of home.
Hot dogs that come in jars in the canned goods aisle? Hard pass.
Cheeseburgers pre-made and sold in a gas station. No thanks.
Asking for ‘lemonade’ and getting a warm can of Sprite. Oh geez.
Nachos could easily stand for ‘No American Cheese, Habaneros Or Salsa’.

So how does someone learn to just not give a crap about cooking?
Follow the lead of this guy, who apparently is the only one with some kind of cooking acumen at this network.
His nachos recipe looks more like a cry for help or a sign of suicide rather than a cooking segment.

Our man Weber is a microwave kind of guy, and you get the impression that this is not only his ONLY recipe, but that he probably eats this every night sitting in his tight-whiteys watching late night runs of the dating show ‘Studs.’
This is the nacho recipe for the everyman.

If you’re looking for a way NOT to make nachos, or the spirit animal of the sad divorcee, than this is the video for you.

There are some good nachos in the UK by the way. we just have yet to taste them.
If you have any recommendations for the best nachos in the UK, make sure to give us a holler.
We’ll all be eating crap nachos and watching the games together soon.

Flee Agents

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What a wild and crazy week in free agency!
The Patriots throw money at every problem, Trubisky is gone from the Bears-but so is Kyle Fuller, Corey Davis, Marvin Jones, even JuJu got a deal.
All is discussed in our Flee Agents podcast.

Wade & Ryan look at all the frenetic action taking place last week in the league. With so many moves, shakes and potential shakedowns going on, there is a lot to discuss.
Although there were hundreds of pieces moved last week alone, the guys will look at some of the big trades, and what kind of implications that they might have in the 2021 season.

The guys also chat about some of the not so pretty hot topics that have been bouncing across the food court of the league. Some of this stuff is all rumour, and we hope that you look at it that way as no one has gone to jail..yet.

Our big Flee Agent topics in this episode include.

JuJu

Juju is back on the Steelers, and he promises no logo dancing! Actually, he doesn’t promise anything, but not as much is as expected. Juju probably thought the free agent pool would be a clear and crystal body of warmth and support. Instead the pool called him a ‘jackass’ and told him to stop peeing on his chances at future success.
Juju returning to Pittsburgh is like the hot girl in your small town who announces she is ‘going to Hollywood’, only to be spotted working at an Arby’s at the town over 6 months later.
He talks a big talk, but he might be shell of Claypool in 2021.

Andy Dalton

Andy Dalton is the starter for the Chicago Bears! This is something that might have been appealing in 2018, but not so much now. Dalton went from unappreciated in Cincy, to unblocked in Dallas. For a guy who seems pretty darn nice, he hasn’t had a pretty nice ride.
Maybe things will turn around in Chicago?
Given that Bears fans are warming fires and sharpening sticks for Pace and Nagy, that doesn’t seem bloody likely.
Dalton may indeed be the goat here…scape-goat.

Hunter Henry

Bill Belichick loves him a sweet tight end. Robert Kraft probably does as well, we have no idea.
Billy B blew a load on TE’s by adding Hunter and Jonnu to reclaim the glory days of Gronk and A Hern.
Of course, you still need someone to THROW the ball, which Cam Newton has struggled on last year,
Henry was a great touchdown catcher in LA, but being the star of the Pats is a different story.
3 years for $37.5 million? Hope you catch a lot of balls Hunter.

Mitchell Trubisky

Ding dong the Mitch is dead, the wicked Mitch, the wicked Mitch is dead!
Ok, so he isn’t dead, and he isn’t wicked, but he is gone…from Chicago.
Mitch didn’t asked to be moved up the draft and forced into the Bears, but sometimes that’s how life goes.
Buffalo saw something in Mitch and decided ‘what the heck, throw him on the bench.’
Trubisky offers the Bills another running option at QB, even if that option is about as accurate as a millennial.
This could be good for Mitch, and even better for Bears fans to watch him on the bench in the AFC.

DeShaun Watson

Let’s address the naked man on the massage table, shall we?
Firstly these are accusations.
Nothing has been proven, no one has been charged, but a man’s life hangs in the balance.
Let’s not forget that a young man who challenged his lot in life being manipulated by nefarious billionaires, now finds that they system is against him.
Robert Kraft was in a similar situation with actual evidence, and that disappeared faster that you can say ‘Ambassador Woody Johnson.’
Before everyone goes out and torches DeShaun in the media, let’s just see what other information comes out first.
Besides, it’s early off-season, there are plenty of more meltdowns to come.

Make sure you follow us on social media, as we will have big news coming out this summer!

Brady’s Bored

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The SuperBowl is almost a month ago, and it shows, because Tom Brady’s bored!
Or at least he must be if he had to give an interview with James Corden on the Late Late Show.

TB12 visited the virtual LLS with JC in the first week of March to give an interview about all of the Super Bowl shenanigans that we saw after their epic Tampa Bay win in February this year.

Corden might be moving weight prior to his move back to the UK, but wearing a purple suit for this interview brought out his inner Grimace.
It’s obvious that Corden knows nothing about the NFL, despite interviewing, karaoking, and driving around with some of the best athletes on the planet.
Luckily, Corden is good at faking it to make it.

Some of the highlights of the video below:

Drunk Brady

Can we all agree that drunk Tom Brady is the best Tom Brady of all?
In a league where alcohol can release the inner demons of some players, a little tequila down Tommy’s throat brings out the mischief-monster.
Would sober Tom have tossed that trophy off a boat? No.
Perhaps the NFL should consider creating a ‘Drunk Game’, where all the players in the game are under the influence?
Drunk Tom Brady would once again be putting on a ring.

Rings?

In the interview, it’s quite obvious that Tom’s 7 rings are nowhere in site.
If anyone of us owned those rings, we would be wearing them all day every day.
Where do you keep them rings Tommy Boy?
At least assemble them in some sort of ‘Newton’s Cradle’ where they can bang against each other in some sort of perpetual motion.
The GIF would be the most popular of all time.

Bill Beli-Bore

Bill Belichick is currently experiencing what it’s like to be in a cuckolding relationship.
Part of him got turned on by Tommy tearing it up in other colours, the other part is ripping himself a new one for being so silly.
While not referenced at all in the interview, you can only imagine Bill, his GF and the dogs watching this one with a bit of slut-shame.
Tommy has never looked so happy, shiny, and fun.
You go girl.

Super Model Sensitivity

Tommy acknowledges that his Gisele said to him after the latest victory ‘what else do you have to prove’?
Clearly she doesn’t know TB12. That just made him want to play more.
When you challenge the GOAT, you get the horns.
By saying that his wife has just unleashed another 20 year run of NFL titles until Brady is in his 60s.
We can rebuild him like the Bionic Man, and he’ll still have less filler in him than most of the Insta influencers.

Buc Dynasty

With the victory in Tampa, comes with it a whole new douchey bunch of fans.
OG Bucs fans from the 80s were the real deal. They embraced a losing seasons in a row, horrible team colours, and a creepy moustached mascot that looks like he went along side an Amber Alert.
Those fans were and still are cool, it’s the new legion of Bucs fans that suck.
You can hear their stifled ‘Baws-tawn’ accent, make out the shadow of their former facial hair shaped like Tony Stark, and hairs stand on end when they go off on a new ‘Die-Nasty’.
If you or one of your friends is one of these idiot-sticks, please consider jumping in freezing water until thoroughly numb.

Here is the full interview for your consideration. Make sure you check out all of our social channels for lots of fun.

Super Memes

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What a heck of a SuperBowl! Sure, it wasn’t that great if you hated Tom Brady, or if you were a Patrick Mahomes fan, but what a game! Ready for some Super Memes?

Every Monday morning QB went through the motions of what ‘went wrong’ for the Chiefs, and how they were able to get blown out so much.
The answer to this is defence and coaching-something that the Chiefs were unable to counter with.

Of course the best way to enjoy the aftermath of the SuperBowl is to reflect on all of the memes that were flying around afterwards.  Bless all of you out there who take the time and energy to make these little creative nuggets.

In keeping with this, we offer you some of the best memes we have found since the Super Bowl.
Enjoy!

Conference Memes

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And then there were two, as we know now that it is going to be the Kansas City Chiefs vs the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the Super Bowl. In honour of that, we are proud to release some hilarious NFL Conference Memes.

Buffalo went up and died of dehydration against the stout Chiefs D, and realised quickly that they should have had a running game to compliment their fast 2020 attack.  The Bills are off to golf season, which starts mid July in Buffalo.

Patrick Mahomes continues to rip threads from other NFL teams, and it looks like the MVP has finally been decided. Mahomes’ fiancee has been all over Twitter spreading the news before it actually happens.

Aaron Rodgers put on his pissy pants and through a hissy after his team was taken out behind the shed and whooped by the Bucs and their D. Will the Packers come back next year with a new dimension, or are they forever doomed to fail out in the NFC Championship?

TB12 knows what’s up. For a player to cross conferences in one year, then lead that team to the Super Bowl is mightily impressive. Will Tommy be able to snag another title and ride off into the sunset, or will the new punk on the block hoist another Lombardi trophy.

We’re all too excited to wait!