NFL in London

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Sad Nachos

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Good food can help make a great football game better. Bad food turns a bad game into a travesty.
So what quantifies as bad nachos, or even sad nachos?
Pretty much everything you’ll find at a UK pub chain.

Nachos have been a struggle menu item for most British restaurants.
To many it’s just a matter of ‘putting cheese on crisps’, which rewards the eater with bland taste, sharp edges and no reminder of home.

The first time a North American orders nachos from a ‘Spoons, you quickly realise what kind of mistake you have made.
Shortly after a server appears with a plate of Doritos that have been microwaved covered in some cheese slices. No extra toppings, flavour, or even good corn chips…just plain old Doritos.
It’s the NFL equivalent to showing up to a game, only to find out it’s a New York Jets practice, with only 3rd string players.

Expats quickly learn what NOT to order on a British menu to avoid tainting the taste of home.
Hot dogs that come in jars in the canned goods aisle? Hard pass.
Cheeseburgers pre-made and sold in a gas station. No thanks.
Asking for ‘lemonade’ and getting a warm can of Sprite. Oh geez.
Nachos could easily stand for ‘No American Cheese, Habaneros Or Salsa’.

So how does someone learn to just not give a crap about cooking?
Follow the lead of this guy, who apparently is the only one with some kind of cooking acumen at this network.
His nachos recipe looks more like a cry for help or a sign of suicide rather than a cooking segment.

Our man Weber is a microwave kind of guy, and you get the impression that this is not only his ONLY recipe, but that he probably eats this every night sitting in his tight-whiteys watching late night runs of the dating show ‘Studs.’
This is the nacho recipe for the everyman.

If you’re looking for a way NOT to make nachos, or the spirit animal of the sad divorcee, than this is the video for you.

There are some good nachos in the UK by the way. we just have yet to taste them.
If you have any recommendations for the best nachos in the UK, make sure to give us a holler.
We’ll all be eating crap nachos and watching the games together soon.

Meme Marchness

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What a wild week this was in the NFL!
Does anyone else have the cold sweats?
To celebrate, we have compiled a collection of some of the greatest memes from the week in what we call Meme Marchness.

We will of course go into bigger discussion about some of these topics in our podcast, and throughout the week. Some of the hot topics we will be touching on include:

DeShaun Watson

It’s all starting to crumble for Watson, as his exploits at massage parlours makes him the perfect Patriot. The reports that are starting to emerge are troubling, and could potentially spell the end of a career for DeShaun.
Like anything in life, you can rush to hasty decisions without all of the facts-something we don’t have yet.
A truly unfortunate situation for everyone.

Patriots

Speaking of blowing the wad, New England has splashed some cash this week unlike any other time in their history. Bill Belichick got Cam for a nifty deal, then splashed out on enough tight ends to last him 5 years. New England is in a tough division, and we shall see if Belichick still has a magic touch, or if he is truly out of touch.

Trubisky

Ding dong, Mitch is dead. Well, not really. But Mitchell Trubisky is no longer a Bear, as he has shuffled off to Buffalo. After being flogged by Chicago relentlessly since being selected, Mitch should look forward to going to Western New York where the fans are recognised as the nicest in the league.
These good feels might even help Mitch get his confidence back.

Here are a selection of memes for you to giggle yourself over.

March Meme-ness

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March. In like a lion…how many freaking years will we be in lockdown?
With Covid fading off into the distance like Johnny Manziel’s career, it looks like we might be back to some degree of normalcy in NFL life.

March is the official start of the 2021 season, as teams need to begin figuring out who should stay, who should go, and who they have no money to pay.

The 2021 offseason brings with it plenty of opportunities for many teams, and many opportunities to continue to screw up their teams. (Looking at you Bears).
Chicago is so bad at drafting, they should switch ff beer to a pinot grigio and let the adults handle it.

Of course we kid, that’s pretty much all you can do in the offseason. So to help you with the shifts and giggles to start the new NFL season, here’s a selection of funny and silly memes to tickle your NFL funny bone.

We still have no idea what will happen with the London NFL games-but if we do hear anything, we will let you know.

Stay Safe and sane!

Super Memes

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What a heck of a SuperBowl! Sure, it wasn’t that great if you hated Tom Brady, or if you were a Patrick Mahomes fan, but what a game! Ready for some Super Memes?

Every Monday morning QB went through the motions of what ‘went wrong’ for the Chiefs, and how they were able to get blown out so much.
The answer to this is defence and coaching-something that the Chiefs were unable to counter with.

Of course the best way to enjoy the aftermath of the SuperBowl is to reflect on all of the memes that were flying around afterwards.  Bless all of you out there who take the time and energy to make these little creative nuggets.

In keeping with this, we offer you some of the best memes we have found since the Super Bowl.
Enjoy!

Super Bowl Food

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Game day is here, and we’re all stuck at home getting fat.
So what do you have on tap for Sunday in terms of food and fixins?
Since we all can’t gather in public, it’s time to consider your nosh options for watching SuperBowl 55 in the UK.  So here are some ideas for some Super Bowl food to make your Sunday Funday.
It’s great, it’s on real late, it’s Covid times.

Our American counter parts often make us jealous of their hormone laden food choice pairings, meal deals, influence & indulgence, but we’re alone in the UK, so make your own Sunday Funday menu.
I’m a Canadian farm boy, Bears fan, bbq geek, lazy ass, who loves to throw NFL parties, so I’m going to offer my best Super Bowl Food tips for Sunday.
These recipes are based on parties of less than 6, so none of us get arrested.

Delivery

Seriously the best option for the lazy Super Bowl watcher. Pop & lock your phone to Grease Street and Delivepoo or Must Eat yourself to ease. Problem is that kickoff is 11:30pm GMT, so you won’t really get something warm and ready.
Consider the indie. There are loads of great independent restaurants that are offering eat in options of their food. This makes it easy for anyone to follow instructions and heat up when needed.
Timing is everything, so make sure that you balance the warming times of your meats and sides.
Don’t try to pull off the fact you didn’t make it though. In a game of transparency, call out the teammates of delivery.

Wings

Chicken wings are easy to do, and a staple for NFL viewing. Wings are full of fat, so it’s good to boil them first for a few minutes to render it off for a crispy result.  Throw them in heavily salted boiling water until white, then dab, and oven dry at 30c with a few pats of a towel to get all the water out. Put the wings in a bag of seasoning to rope up the goodness & put in the fridge to cool before cooking. Baked wings work best with this method, but make sure you get the air flow going to circulate the meat. As soon as they’re crispy to your liking, pull them out and shake them in a bowl of your best sauce. Serve hot.

Nachos

Nachos are a tough treat in the UK, because we lack some of the basics to make them really cook.
A proper corn tortilla is key to nachos, as well as knowing what stays dry and what stays wet.
Nacho amateurs will be quick to splooge the nachos in salsa, dips and juices prior to cooking, but you need to be patient. We all have our ideal nachos, so listen to your crew who is going to eat it.
As for chips, Marks & Spencer sells a close to authentic Cantina Tortillas which are more viable than the UK Dorito options. Salty, crispy and a solid balance.
Nacho reminder…
It’s better to basic and cheese first…then to toss a bunch of shit on and piss everyone off.

Chili

I’m doing a beef short rib chili for Super Bowl Sunday, and a slow cooker/ crock pot is key here. A good chili ideally takes at least 8 hours to cook, 24 if you want full flavour, and 48 hrs if you’re cooking human (wikipedia).
If you’re cooking ribs get a butcher to help you out. Trim all the fat first as it makes for greasy chili, then braise the meat by either a bbq or in an oily pan. Don’t cook it fully, just give it a crisp then trim the fat again and put in in the slow cooker. Add beans, tomatoes, lentils, whatever the flock you want for a chili. Have fun with it. The idea of a chili is to cook all the crap you couldn’t eat before, but you boiled it down with some stuff.
As a Bears fan, that’s my season.

BBQ

Cook meat like you want to eat it, not like you want to hurt it. Living in Britain for 15 years have shown me how mean some foodies can be to their potential next course. Chicken is supposed to have moisture after being on the bbq, not to look like it’s a chimney sweep apprentice.
If you want to eat it, watch it, and give it time to rest.

If you’re going to Super Bowl BBQ, keep it quick and focused. All beef hot dogs are a great treat if you can find them in the UK, although a package of 5 cost me £10, so be prepared to pay. They’re good quality too, not just regular old lips and assholes

Enjoy your Super Bowl and reach out for any menu tips.
If you want to learn how to cook any other greasy, comfort food, let me know.

Good eating everyone, and enjoy Super Bowl 55. We’ll all be back eating with each other again soon.