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Brady’s Bored

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The SuperBowl is almost a month ago, and it shows, because Tom Brady’s bored!
Or at least he must be if he had to give an interview with James Corden on the Late Late Show.

TB12 visited the virtual LLS with JC in the first week of March to give an interview about all of the Super Bowl shenanigans that we saw after their epic Tampa Bay win in February this year.

Corden might be moving weight prior to his move back to the UK, but wearing a purple suit for this interview brought out his inner Grimace.
It’s obvious that Corden knows nothing about the NFL, despite interviewing, karaoking, and driving around with some of the best athletes on the planet.
Luckily, Corden is good at faking it to make it.

Some of the highlights of the video below:

Drunk Brady

Can we all agree that drunk Tom Brady is the best Tom Brady of all?
In a league where alcohol can release the inner demons of some players, a little tequila down Tommy’s throat brings out the mischief-monster.
Would sober Tom have tossed that trophy off a boat? No.
Perhaps the NFL should consider creating a ‘Drunk Game’, where all the players in the game are under the influence?
Drunk Tom Brady would once again be putting on a ring.

Rings?

In the interview, it’s quite obvious that Tom’s 7 rings are nowhere in site.
If anyone of us owned those rings, we would be wearing them all day every day.
Where do you keep them rings Tommy Boy?
At least assemble them in some sort of ‘Newton’s Cradle’ where they can bang against each other in some sort of perpetual motion.
The GIF would be the most popular of all time.

Bill Beli-Bore

Bill Belichick is currently experiencing what it’s like to be in a cuckolding relationship.
Part of him got turned on by Tommy tearing it up in other colours, the other part is ripping himself a new one for being so silly.
While not referenced at all in the interview, you can only imagine Bill, his GF and the dogs watching this one with a bit of slut-shame.
Tommy has never looked so happy, shiny, and fun.
You go girl.

Super Model Sensitivity

Tommy acknowledges that his Gisele said to him after the latest victory ‘what else do you have to prove’?
Clearly she doesn’t know TB12. That just made him want to play more.
When you challenge the GOAT, you get the horns.
By saying that his wife has just unleashed another 20 year run of NFL titles until Brady is in his 60s.
We can rebuild him like the Bionic Man, and he’ll still have less filler in him than most of the Insta influencers.

Buc Dynasty

With the victory in Tampa, comes with it a whole new douchey bunch of fans.
OG Bucs fans from the 80s were the real deal. They embraced a losing seasons in a row, horrible team colours, and a creepy moustached mascot that looks like he went along side an Amber Alert.
Those fans were and still are cool, it’s the new legion of Bucs fans that suck.
You can hear their stifled ‘Baws-tawn’ accent, make out the shadow of their former facial hair shaped like Tony Stark, and hairs stand on end when they go off on a new ‘Die-Nasty’.
If you or one of your friends is one of these idiot-sticks, please consider jumping in freezing water until thoroughly numb.

Here is the full interview for your consideration. Make sure you check out all of our social channels for lots of fun.

SB55 Review

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The game is done and dusted, the Bucs are the new SuperBowl champions, and we have another 6 months until we see the NFL again. Sigh. It’s time for our SB55 Review!

General consensus amongst fans is that this one of the better SuperBowl’s, but those fans tend to be Chiefs or AFC fans, while another large chunk of the population thinks is was a damn fine game indeed. There was action, excitement, and we got to see Tom Brady add another jewel to his hand of seven victories. Love him or hate him, the GOAT gap keeps widening.

Let’s take a look at the big key takeaways from SuperBowl 55 to define the big moments of the final game of the season.

Defense

D wins the big games, and the Bucs sure as hell brought theirs for SuperBowl 55. Patrick Mahomes not only didn’t record a TD, but he ran for over 400 yards in escape from the relentless attack.
The saying is that defences win SuperBowl’s and that sure was the case on February 7th.
Kansas City just didn’t have a response from their offence, and the injuries up front were not only apparent, but easily exposed.
Tampa might not have had the best overall D for the NFL season, but that doesn’t matter.
They had the best one in the big game.

Tom Brady

Tb12 is Super cool. He’s been here 10 times in the past, and his unflappable appearance in the game was the steadying rock to glide the Bucs down the ice. Brady never hit his 300 yard mark, but it didn’t really factor given that he had a solid running game to rely on.
He spread the ball around to his faves, as if he was rewarding them with post season bonuses on every pass.
Everybody got paid, and Tommy was the banker.
Perhaps the best Tom Brady pass was with the Lombardi trophy when he drunk-tossed it to Cameron Brate off a boat.
Drunk Brady might be the best Brady of all.

Gronk

If you bet on Gronk to score in the SuperBowl, congrats-you made a smart call. Rob has scored in 3 previous SuperBowl’s, and it was only logical that Tom would find a slant route of open field to hit Gronk for big gains. One TD was expected, but 2 was just the icing on that big Gronk cake.
Like Brady, Gronk really showed a different flair in the big game thanks to the more relaxed Buccaneers attitude. Patriots wins felt stuffy and corporate, but this victory was sweet.
Gronk will be back.

Mahomes

Patrick Mahomes is a hell of an athlete, a smart young man, and a guy with a huge future. Sure, he got bottled in the big one, but that was the point.
If you choke Kermit, then there’s no Muppet Show.
Gonzo, Scooter, Fozzie and Miss Piggy were all flumuxed once Mahomes couldn’t get a ball off.
He surely tried with some spectacular efforts, but all was nought when it came to the pirate invasion that continued to break through the lines.
Mahomes and the Chiefs will be back here again soon, they are the team to fear.

Britt Reid

Always somber when touching on accidents involving children, but this incident had a big effect on the game. When the coaches troubled son D&D plows into a family, that kind of trauma hits the family of the team. Teams feed off emotions during a SuperBowl, and having one of your family do something so stupid and selfish before an important occasion is something that the whole family hurts with.
Yes it can be shaken off, but it lingers because players feel for the coach and they don’t want him to hurt.
That’s what loses focus in a big game, especially on a young team.

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Super Bowl Food

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Game day is here, and we’re all stuck at home getting fat.
So what do you have on tap for Sunday in terms of food and fixins?
Since we all can’t gather in public, it’s time to consider your nosh options for watching SuperBowl 55 in the UK.  So here are some ideas for some Super Bowl food to make your Sunday Funday.
It’s great, it’s on real late, it’s Covid times.

Our American counter parts often make us jealous of their hormone laden food choice pairings, meal deals, influence & indulgence, but we’re alone in the UK, so make your own Sunday Funday menu.
I’m a Canadian farm boy, Bears fan, bbq geek, lazy ass, who loves to throw NFL parties, so I’m going to offer my best Super Bowl Food tips for Sunday.
These recipes are based on parties of less than 6, so none of us get arrested.

Delivery

Seriously the best option for the lazy Super Bowl watcher. Pop & lock your phone to Grease Street and Delivepoo or Must Eat yourself to ease. Problem is that kickoff is 11:30pm GMT, so you won’t really get something warm and ready.
Consider the indie. There are loads of great independent restaurants that are offering eat in options of their food. This makes it easy for anyone to follow instructions and heat up when needed.
Timing is everything, so make sure that you balance the warming times of your meats and sides.
Don’t try to pull off the fact you didn’t make it though. In a game of transparency, call out the teammates of delivery.

Wings

Chicken wings are easy to do, and a staple for NFL viewing. Wings are full of fat, so it’s good to boil them first for a few minutes to render it off for a crispy result.  Throw them in heavily salted boiling water until white, then dab, and oven dry at 30c with a few pats of a towel to get all the water out. Put the wings in a bag of seasoning to rope up the goodness & put in the fridge to cool before cooking. Baked wings work best with this method, but make sure you get the air flow going to circulate the meat. As soon as they’re crispy to your liking, pull them out and shake them in a bowl of your best sauce. Serve hot.

Nachos

Nachos are a tough treat in the UK, because we lack some of the basics to make them really cook.
A proper corn tortilla is key to nachos, as well as knowing what stays dry and what stays wet.
Nacho amateurs will be quick to splooge the nachos in salsa, dips and juices prior to cooking, but you need to be patient. We all have our ideal nachos, so listen to your crew who is going to eat it.
As for chips, Marks & Spencer sells a close to authentic Cantina Tortillas which are more viable than the UK Dorito options. Salty, crispy and a solid balance.
Nacho reminder…
It’s better to basic and cheese first…then to toss a bunch of shit on and piss everyone off.

Chili

I’m doing a beef short rib chili for Super Bowl Sunday, and a slow cooker/ crock pot is key here. A good chili ideally takes at least 8 hours to cook, 24 if you want full flavour, and 48 hrs if you’re cooking human (wikipedia).
If you’re cooking ribs get a butcher to help you out. Trim all the fat first as it makes for greasy chili, then braise the meat by either a bbq or in an oily pan. Don’t cook it fully, just give it a crisp then trim the fat again and put in in the slow cooker. Add beans, tomatoes, lentils, whatever the flock you want for a chili. Have fun with it. The idea of a chili is to cook all the crap you couldn’t eat before, but you boiled it down with some stuff.
As a Bears fan, that’s my season.

BBQ

Cook meat like you want to eat it, not like you want to hurt it. Living in Britain for 15 years have shown me how mean some foodies can be to their potential next course. Chicken is supposed to have moisture after being on the bbq, not to look like it’s a chimney sweep apprentice.
If you want to eat it, watch it, and give it time to rest.

If you’re going to Super Bowl BBQ, keep it quick and focused. All beef hot dogs are a great treat if you can find them in the UK, although a package of 5 cost me £10, so be prepared to pay. They’re good quality too, not just regular old lips and assholes

Enjoy your Super Bowl and reach out for any menu tips.
If you want to learn how to cook any other greasy, comfort food, let me know.

Good eating everyone, and enjoy Super Bowl 55. We’ll all be back eating with each other again soon.

 

 

Tom Brady-Mean Tweets

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SuperBowl media frenzy is here, which means all of the players are run through the hoops of late night TV hosts, and goofy foreign press who have a whole host of wacky games ready for the players. One of the more consistent is Jimmy Fallon’s Mean Tweets, which gets the Tom Brady version here.

It’s always fun to make fun of ole TB12, and you can imagine that there were thousands of tweets that were either omitted because they were too rude, too mean, or too personal.
Sunday nights and Monday mornings have to be a treasure trove of Tommy hate, as he would have just ruined the weekend of some punter and solidified his status as the GOAT.

Florida must be treating Tommy nicely, as that tan brings out the fact that he is still ridiculously handsome, making him even more of a target of jealousy.
Being that insanely good-looking must bring with it a world that most of the world will never know, add to that being the best player in the most popular sport in America, and you get Tom Brady.

Many people will want Tom and the Bucs to fail for being so gosh darn good, and taking a losing team then running it into the SuperBowl in the very next year.
Whatever happens on Sunday, everyone needs to appreciate what a feat it is for a guy of his age in a smash-em-up sport.
Go Tommy, go.

In the spirit though, here are some ‘Mean Tweets’ that Tom could have read out.

-You’ll always be my biTch #tombrady #mybitch #giants @EliManning

-Remember our secrets. #tombrady #rubs #tugs @RobbieKraft

-State Farm always wins! #Tombrady #youllsee #Mahomes @AaronRodgers

-I think she dead #tombrady #shedead #playme @AntBrown

-I’m watching you. You’ll come back. Return to me. #tomBrady #returntome @BellBilichicky

 

 

 

Season Review Podcast

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And just like that another NFL season is done and in the books, as we take a look back in our Season Review Podcast.
It certainly was one of the oddest seasons, and will definitely be the lowest attended by fans on record.
From Covid to injuries, Covid to the New York Jets, the season got messy real quick.

Wade McElwain and Ryan Cull look back at the season that was, and highlight the stories that shaped the year. The guys also make a team by team analysis of each team, what went wrong, and what they will need to do to right the ship for next season.

Some of the other things that the guys touch on in this podcast includes:

Stafford/ Goff Trade

LA got the QB that everyone wanted, but they really only have two years to pull it off. Detroit loads up on draft picks, and can start to whittle through the loads of ex Patriots players taking up valuable space. McVay now has a tough QB with a heck on an arm on him, if they can add a few more pieces to keep him safe, the Rams could be headed to a Super Bowl in a few years.

DeShaun Drama

Who wants a talented 24 year old QB with a big chip on his shoulder? Most every team would love Watson on their team, but no one really has the money to swallow him up. Despite every move made by the Texans, it will be tough to keep him happy and motivated.

Brady Bonuses

Did you know that TB12 was making some serious paper during his first NFC playoffs? Brady banked $500k for making the post season, $250k for beating Washington, then a further $500k for taking out Drew Brees. Severing the head of Aaron Rodgers brought Tommy another $500k, with the Super Bowl throwing a further $500k into the kitty. All told Tom Brady will make $28 million this year. Wowza.

Who Dak?

Dallas has a pricey bill to settle up. Throwing the franchise tag on Dak will be costly, especially when they have other expensive toys like Cooper and Zeke on the squad. The Cowboys are going to need to figure out what’s in their bank account for the next few seasons going forward.

QB Fiesta

There are loads of other teams and QB options to explore and the shifting sands of it all is really quite intoxicating. Aaron Rodgers has already started to massage his moustache as he looks if being a cheesehead for life is the best option. Goff is off to Motor City, but maybe he won’t be the starter? The Colts NEED a QB, the Bears aren’t going with Mitch, and what on earth are the Patriots are going to do? What about Carson Wentz?
The start of the 2021 NFL season is going to see a lot of guys in jerseys we never thought possible.

Offseason

The guys also talk about the big elephant in the room…the offseason. What the heck are we all going to do once this season is over? Do we all just go back to sleep or something?

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