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March Meme-ness

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March. In like a lion…how many freaking years will we be in lockdown?
With Covid fading off into the distance like Johnny Manziel’s career, it looks like we might be back to some degree of normalcy in NFL life.

March is the official start of the 2021 season, as teams need to begin figuring out who should stay, who should go, and who they have no money to pay.

The 2021 offseason brings with it plenty of opportunities for many teams, and many opportunities to continue to screw up their teams. (Looking at you Bears).
Chicago is so bad at drafting, they should switch ff beer to a pinot grigio and let the adults handle it.

Of course we kid, that’s pretty much all you can do in the offseason. So to help you with the shifts and giggles to start the new NFL season, here’s a selection of funny and silly memes to tickle your NFL funny bone.

We still have no idea what will happen with the London NFL games-but if we do hear anything, we will let you know.

Stay Safe and sane!

Brady’s Bored

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The SuperBowl is almost a month ago, and it shows, because Tom Brady’s bored!
Or at least he must be if he had to give an interview with James Corden on the Late Late Show.

TB12 visited the virtual LLS with JC in the first week of March to give an interview about all of the Super Bowl shenanigans that we saw after their epic Tampa Bay win in February this year.

Corden might be moving weight prior to his move back to the UK, but wearing a purple suit for this interview brought out his inner Grimace.
It’s obvious that Corden knows nothing about the NFL, despite interviewing, karaoking, and driving around with some of the best athletes on the planet.
Luckily, Corden is good at faking it to make it.

Some of the highlights of the video below:

Drunk Brady

Can we all agree that drunk Tom Brady is the best Tom Brady of all?
In a league where alcohol can release the inner demons of some players, a little tequila down Tommy’s throat brings out the mischief-monster.
Would sober Tom have tossed that trophy off a boat? No.
Perhaps the NFL should consider creating a ‘Drunk Game’, where all the players in the game are under the influence?
Drunk Tom Brady would once again be putting on a ring.

Rings?

In the interview, it’s quite obvious that Tom’s 7 rings are nowhere in site.
If anyone of us owned those rings, we would be wearing them all day every day.
Where do you keep them rings Tommy Boy?
At least assemble them in some sort of ‘Newton’s Cradle’ where they can bang against each other in some sort of perpetual motion.
The GIF would be the most popular of all time.

Bill Beli-Bore

Bill Belichick is currently experiencing what it’s like to be in a cuckolding relationship.
Part of him got turned on by Tommy tearing it up in other colours, the other part is ripping himself a new one for being so silly.
While not referenced at all in the interview, you can only imagine Bill, his GF and the dogs watching this one with a bit of slut-shame.
Tommy has never looked so happy, shiny, and fun.
You go girl.

Super Model Sensitivity

Tommy acknowledges that his Gisele said to him after the latest victory ‘what else do you have to prove’?
Clearly she doesn’t know TB12. That just made him want to play more.
When you challenge the GOAT, you get the horns.
By saying that his wife has just unleashed another 20 year run of NFL titles until Brady is in his 60s.
We can rebuild him like the Bionic Man, and he’ll still have less filler in him than most of the Insta influencers.

Buc Dynasty

With the victory in Tampa, comes with it a whole new douchey bunch of fans.
OG Bucs fans from the 80s were the real deal. They embraced a losing seasons in a row, horrible team colours, and a creepy moustached mascot that looks like he went along side an Amber Alert.
Those fans were and still are cool, it’s the new legion of Bucs fans that suck.
You can hear their stifled ‘Baws-tawn’ accent, make out the shadow of their former facial hair shaped like Tony Stark, and hairs stand on end when they go off on a new ‘Die-Nasty’.
If you or one of your friends is one of these idiot-sticks, please consider jumping in freezing water until thoroughly numb.

Here is the full interview for your consideration. Make sure you check out all of our social channels for lots of fun.

SB55 Podcast

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It’s been a week since the Tampa Bay Bucs slapped around the Kansas City Chiefs in the Super Bowl. Now that the dust is settled, it’s time for our SB55 Podcast.

Wade McElwain and Ryan Cull reflect on the big game a week later. Why did this game get away from the Chiefs? Do the Chiefs need another wide receiver? Is drunk Tom Brady the best Tom Brady of all time?
All these questions and more in this post Super Bowl review show.

Among some of the other things that the guys discuss in the podcast includes:

Defence

They say that a ‘D’ wins a SuperBowl, and boy was that the case on Feb 7th. Patrick Mahomes was rushed, chased and stuffed as the Bucs D broke through the Chiefs line with ease. The big talking point heading in was how the Chiefs were hoping to contain the Bucs with 3 weak O linemen up front.
This was the story of the game, as the Chiefs had no way to stop the rush, and give Mahomes an iota of breathing space. The Bucs were essentially able to negate the running game with this blistering pace as well, as the line of scrimmage was snuffed out very quickly.
Maybe the Bucs didn’t have the best D in the league on paper, but all that matters is the big game.

JJ Watt

The Texans released JJ Watt without a whimper this week, signalling that all was not well on the home front.
Houston has continued to blunder their front office in the past few years, letting Bill O’Brien flip the switch like an entitled stepdad, and mismanaging numerous high profile contracts.
The way that the Texans handled the Deshaun Watson scenario must have made Watt’s ears bleed, and he must have just been totally fed up to the point he wasn’t even going to discuss terms anymore.
JJ Watt has been a shining example to the city of Houston. His performance on the field has been matched by his community efforts off the pitch. When a hurricane battled Houston, Watt did everything he could to wrap his arms around the city. That kind of class is hard to find.
Watt will have plenty of options for his broken, bent, but still able body.
Moving to Steeltown to be with his brothers might be creepy, a jump up to the Bills could be fun, but a return trip home to Green Bay seems more than likely.
Who’s got the cash to spot JJ?

Wentz

Imagine being the ginger step-child of the league, both literally and figuratively, and that’s called being Carson Wentz.
Wentz and the Eagles are hoping to find a way to offload the QB, as well as not eat a big chunk of useless money in the process.
Watching Wentz trying to get out of Philly is like watching one of those baby turtles try to make it for the open ocean. You hope he can make it to the clear blue, but there is an expectation that a huge wave or hungry gull is going to swallow it all up.
Carson isn’t done in the league, but he has a hell of an audition ahead if anyone wants to consider him as a starter in this fast moving league.

Trophy Karen

Leave it to the press to kind the most annoying person to talk to post Super Bowl. Apparently a ‘Trophy Karen’ is all upset because when Tom Brady threw the Lombardi trophy, it was disrespectful to her father and other silversmiths, and she would PERSONALLY like an apology. Entitled much?
First her father worked on the trophy in the 1960s, and didn’t design the trophy. He just worked there.
Secondly, a new Lombardi Trophy is made every year for each team, so it’s up to them what they want to do with it. (ask Gronk).
Thirdly…who the hell cares? Why did the press give this odious woman coverage time? In the age of Covid, BLM, equality, war, and a whole host of problems…an entitled woman with nothing to do with a headline, wants something to do with a headline…and an apology.
Say goodbye to your social media ‘Trophy Karen’, pretty sure you’re going to need to go away for a while.

This was our first SuperBowl on record that we weren’t able to throw a London party this year and we’re gutted.
With the NFL 2021 season a scant 6 months away, we will work hard to see if we can find a way for us all to enjoy the games in public once again.
The 2021 NFL London games are a go (fingers crossed), hopefully we can all get together soon.

Have a listen, a laugh, and make sure you share this podcast asap or Tom Brady wins again next year.
It’s true.

Super Memes

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What a heck of a SuperBowl! Sure, it wasn’t that great if you hated Tom Brady, or if you were a Patrick Mahomes fan, but what a game! Ready for some Super Memes?

Every Monday morning QB went through the motions of what ‘went wrong’ for the Chiefs, and how they were able to get blown out so much.
The answer to this is defence and coaching-something that the Chiefs were unable to counter with.

Of course the best way to enjoy the aftermath of the SuperBowl is to reflect on all of the memes that were flying around afterwards.  Bless all of you out there who take the time and energy to make these little creative nuggets.

In keeping with this, we offer you some of the best memes we have found since the Super Bowl.
Enjoy!

Super Bowl Food

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Game day is here, and we’re all stuck at home getting fat.
So what do you have on tap for Sunday in terms of food and fixins?
Since we all can’t gather in public, it’s time to consider your nosh options for watching SuperBowl 55 in the UK.  So here are some ideas for some Super Bowl food to make your Sunday Funday.
It’s great, it’s on real late, it’s Covid times.

Our American counter parts often make us jealous of their hormone laden food choice pairings, meal deals, influence & indulgence, but we’re alone in the UK, so make your own Sunday Funday menu.
I’m a Canadian farm boy, Bears fan, bbq geek, lazy ass, who loves to throw NFL parties, so I’m going to offer my best Super Bowl Food tips for Sunday.
These recipes are based on parties of less than 6, so none of us get arrested.

Delivery

Seriously the best option for the lazy Super Bowl watcher. Pop & lock your phone to Grease Street and Delivepoo or Must Eat yourself to ease. Problem is that kickoff is 11:30pm GMT, so you won’t really get something warm and ready.
Consider the indie. There are loads of great independent restaurants that are offering eat in options of their food. This makes it easy for anyone to follow instructions and heat up when needed.
Timing is everything, so make sure that you balance the warming times of your meats and sides.
Don’t try to pull off the fact you didn’t make it though. In a game of transparency, call out the teammates of delivery.

Wings

Chicken wings are easy to do, and a staple for NFL viewing. Wings are full of fat, so it’s good to boil them first for a few minutes to render it off for a crispy result.  Throw them in heavily salted boiling water until white, then dab, and oven dry at 30c with a few pats of a towel to get all the water out. Put the wings in a bag of seasoning to rope up the goodness & put in the fridge to cool before cooking. Baked wings work best with this method, but make sure you get the air flow going to circulate the meat. As soon as they’re crispy to your liking, pull them out and shake them in a bowl of your best sauce. Serve hot.

Nachos

Nachos are a tough treat in the UK, because we lack some of the basics to make them really cook.
A proper corn tortilla is key to nachos, as well as knowing what stays dry and what stays wet.
Nacho amateurs will be quick to splooge the nachos in salsa, dips and juices prior to cooking, but you need to be patient. We all have our ideal nachos, so listen to your crew who is going to eat it.
As for chips, Marks & Spencer sells a close to authentic Cantina Tortillas which are more viable than the UK Dorito options. Salty, crispy and a solid balance.
Nacho reminder…
It’s better to basic and cheese first…then to toss a bunch of shit on and piss everyone off.

Chili

I’m doing a beef short rib chili for Super Bowl Sunday, and a slow cooker/ crock pot is key here. A good chili ideally takes at least 8 hours to cook, 24 if you want full flavour, and 48 hrs if you’re cooking human (wikipedia).
If you’re cooking ribs get a butcher to help you out. Trim all the fat first as it makes for greasy chili, then braise the meat by either a bbq or in an oily pan. Don’t cook it fully, just give it a crisp then trim the fat again and put in in the slow cooker. Add beans, tomatoes, lentils, whatever the flock you want for a chili. Have fun with it. The idea of a chili is to cook all the crap you couldn’t eat before, but you boiled it down with some stuff.
As a Bears fan, that’s my season.

BBQ

Cook meat like you want to eat it, not like you want to hurt it. Living in Britain for 15 years have shown me how mean some foodies can be to their potential next course. Chicken is supposed to have moisture after being on the bbq, not to look like it’s a chimney sweep apprentice.
If you want to eat it, watch it, and give it time to rest.

If you’re going to Super Bowl BBQ, keep it quick and focused. All beef hot dogs are a great treat if you can find them in the UK, although a package of 5 cost me £10, so be prepared to pay. They’re good quality too, not just regular old lips and assholes

Enjoy your Super Bowl and reach out for any menu tips.
If you want to learn how to cook any other greasy, comfort food, let me know.

Good eating everyone, and enjoy Super Bowl 55. We’ll all be back eating with each other again soon.