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Wild Draft Predictions

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Life is like a box of chocolates.
Either it gets picked apart by your family, gives you diabetes, or is accidentally left in a car and melts into a goopy puddle.
The point being, you can never be too sure. 

Every year, the NFL Draft hits us with someone wild and wacky-and this year could be no different.
What kind of insane in the membrane trades, moves and hustles could happen in Cleveland this year?
That’s why we have our 2021 Wild Draft Predictions. 

In the NFL the crazier…the more entertaining. 

Pundits and prognosticators have all pulled their polls to make their sure thing bets.
But are they sure things?
Trevor Lawrence is first out and off to the Jaguars? Maybe.
https://www.sportsbettingdime.com/nfl/draft-odds/
Kyle Pitts can play every position. Really?
The Bears will screw up the draft…ok, that’s possible. 

To honour the wackiness that is the NFL Draft, we have tallied a bunch of ‘out there’ predictions for the 2021 NFL Draft.
From fades to trades, bold calls to wild conjecture….we have it all for you.

So let’s get in with some of the most out there NFL predictions to cover our betting butts. 

1. Trevor Lawrence to the CFL

Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Well the NFL couldn’t.
After a blockbuster move to secure the XFL and partner it with the CFL, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson makes his biggest move by convincing Trevor Lawrence to eschew the NFL and head north young man.
Lawrence heads to Saskatchewan to train with the Roughriders, before taking over his own franchise the Newfoundland Nuggets. 

2. Justin Fields Forever

Rumours began to circulate that something was up with Justin Fields, and that perhaps he wasn’t what or whom he appeared to be.
On Draft Day that becomes apparent when the Zoom camera pans in on Fields and his family, only to reveal Colin Kaepernick.
As it turns out, Colin has kidnapped Fields and his family for one last shot at greatness.
Despite numerous blood transfusions and bone grafts Kaep once again fails to deliver for his team.
Fields is eventually released by Colin and the captors, but once again-the damage is already done. 

3. Manziel Mania

The NFL Draft is in Cleveland?
Johnny Manziel is ‘Mr Cleveland’!
Manziel decides to take his shot at crashing the 2021 NFL Draft to promote his new vaccine ‘Johnny Football’, aptly named as it is made from rendered pigskin.
To promote the event, Manziel hires idiot/dunce Jake Paul to deliver the vaccines to people by ‘punching it in their face.’
Paul uses the platform to announce his upcoming fight against the all of the patients in a children’s hospital.
If the children can beat him, he will give them a ‘shout-out’.

4. Jets get an 8 Ball

After years of bad draft picks, the New York Jets have let it slip that they have a new tool for drafting this year…the Magic 8 Ball.
Instead of using sports science, the Jets are opting to let magic be their guide to post season glory.
New head coach Robert Saleh will franticly shake the ball prior to each round to find their ‘yes’ ‘no’ and ‘maybe’s for 2021.
Unfortunately for Saleh, owner Woody Johnson likes the ‘pluck’ of the 8 ball and decides to fire all of his coaching staff to let it coach the Jets in 2022.
They make it to the AFC final. 

5. Ballin’ Bezos

Jeff Bezos is rolling in it.
From the billions he made from selling off Amazon shares, to his neighbours wife who he took just because he could…everything is rolling up JB!
Bezos goes full baller this NFL Draft when he rolls in without a team and announcing ‘I’m not leaving here without my own team.’
Jaws drop, wallets are rummaged and Bezos walks out with not one, but 2 NFL teams. 

Amazonian Jeff not only snags the Chargers for his trophy case, but also snags the Buffalo Bills ‘in case he wants wings.’
As he leaves, Bezos ‘makes it rain’ dolla bills, with images of Usher on every bill. 

Those are our bold predictions for the 2021 NFL Draft, what are yours?
Make sure you listen to our post Draft podcast this week to see how close we all were.

Spring Loaded

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Spring has sprung, the grass is rise, when the heck is the NFL Draft finally going to happen?!?
We look at the Draft, the League, London Games, and so much more in our Spring Loaded podcast.

In this episode, Wade McElwain and Ryan Cull look at some of the biggest news heading into the final week before the 2021 NFL Draft.
Covid still reigns supreme but the league has other plans, how much normal will fans see at games this season?

Some of the other big issues that Wade & Ryan look at in this podcast includes:

Aaron Donald

When everyone first heard the news that Aaron Donald was in a fight, the collective consciousness could be heard to say ‘yeah, right.’
Donald does not only strike you as a street fighter, but the way that the fight was described just smelled of fish.
Turns out, the guy was making it up.
A new video has emerged of Donald rushing to help a friend get out of the situation and to safety.
A full on blatant lie to attempt to condemn a young man who wants nothing more than to play the game he loves.
When will we (and the league) start holding these accusers more accountable for the damage that they do?

Browntown

The Cleveland Browns have a stacked team ready to deliver some results this season.
They have the most first round picks of any team on their roster, yet still wouldn’t be the top pick for AFC champ next season.
Is this the year for Cleveland, or are they lined up for another year of disappointment?
Wade & Ryan break down some of the team, and what they need to do to make sure that they come out on top next year.

Blarty-Gate

Paul Blart Mall Cop is back, and this time he is taking on the Saints.
Comedic actor Kevin James will be playing Saints head coach Sean Payton in a new direct to VHS movie.
Fans will remember that Payton was suspended for ‘Bountygate’, in which he put prices on the heads of opposing players, so that his players would collect by injuring them.
Classic New Orleans!
This movie however will focus on Payton’s choice to coach his 12 year old son’s football team during his downtime.
No word if there will be children being paid to injure each other.

Washington Football Chumps

So the Washington team has finally buried the ‘Redskins’ in a dusty plain somewhere near Wyoming.
Now that the team has officially decided to move on, they have pitted 4 new team names for DoC residents to vote on.
Given that the names sound like that they were developed by a Chinese AI that had never seen an NFL game before, there might be a few more votes down the line.
‘Wild Hogs’ in a gesture to the feral pigs of Maryland, ‘Demon Cats’ as an homage to the imagination of a 3 year old, ‘Presidents’ is a reflection that the whole city is ‘fixed’, or the simple ‘DC Football Club.’
Of course most Washington fans would probably happy with ‘Time to go Dan Snyder, you Creep Machine.’
Or just ‘Creep Machine.’

Have a listen to the Spring Loaded podcast, and share it with your friends.
We keep creeping up the charts and adding new listeners every week, so thanks a bundle for that!

April Showers

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It’s raining NFL free agents this month, as we delve into the state of the league in our April Showers podcast.

Wade McElwain and a hungover Ryan Cull take to the waves to discuss some of the landing spots and potential trades that could shake, rattle and roll some of the teams heading into the start of the 2021 season.

Teams are QB-rabid heading into the draft, but is this clouding the overall judgment for the team going forward?
One of these young men will turn into a bust, but which one will it be?

Among some of the hot topics that Wade & Ryan twerk on in this April Showers episode includes:

Dam Sarnold

Sam is gone from the Jets, so now we can figure out whether it was him, or the putrid Jets.
New York has traded away 6 straight number one picks, which is a troubling sign for a franchise that has trouble shooting straight.
The Jets have spent too long being bad, and if they aren’t able to right the ship after the past few years of opportunities, then they really do suck.

Draft Chat

Colts stud Darius Leonard thinks that the current Draft class ‘talks too much’, which could just be a sign of youth.
Thanks to social media, many of these youngsters are actually engaging and responding to criticism prior to the draft.
It’s one thing that we have learned from Twitter and the ilk, saying something stupid in your youth will NEVER come back to haunt you.

Sorry Buffalo

It took long enough! The Buffalo Bills finally received an apology from the NFL this week after admitting that they got a playoff call ‘wrong.’
A blindsided chop-block called against Cody Ford in a 2019 playoff game against the Houston Texans was deemed a ‘bad call’ in hindsight by the league.
Not only did the chop-block call take the Bills out of potential field goal range, but Ford was also fined $28,075 for the dirty deed.
No word from the NFL if they plan on repaying the huge fine to Ford, or whether they are happy to just to ignore him.
The real anger must stir with Bills fans who are now only getting the apology a few years later, and not a lot of justification.

Drunkest & Most Stoned Fans

Real fans of the NFL are passionate across every facet of the league.
So when it came down to determining which fans not only draw the most, but consumed the most weed…one could see what fans became so darn patriotic.
After all, Buffalo prides itself on throwing it’s drunken fans through tables-surely that must put them on top of the heap?
Surprisingly…no.
In terms of potheads, weed isn’t fully legal across the country, so it would be expected that a ‘green’ state would once again lead the way in cannabis culture.
Again…wrong.
So what team leads the league in both alcohol and marijuana consumption?
It’s the Atlanta Falcons!
Not surprising, since they blown more leads than a pitbull owner.
Maybe it’s the cheap food and drink, or southern hospitality, but ATL is the place to partay.
Can’t wait to have you guys in London this year!

We are still patiently waiting on news about who the Atlanta Falcons coming to London this year, but given recent data-we will be stocking up on booze and weed to make them feel right at home.
Let’s see how that goes!

Here’s the podcast!
Make sure that you share it, listen to it with loved ones, or blare it really loud to get back at neighbours that you might hate.
It’s a pretty pliable podcast.

London Calling Atlanta

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The NFL is returning to London!
Fans will be allowed back in stadiums, a new 17 week season awaits, and Covid has been traded to the Jets for future considerations.
Everything is getting back to normal right?
Uh, sure.
We don’t know a lot, but we do know that London is calling Atlanta for a 2021 game.
So who are they playing? When? Where? What’s the deal-lio, yo?
We’ll try to break it down for you, as London is calling you Atlanta!

International Games

In your face world! The NFL is coming for you!
American football fans around the globe were giddy like kids at Christmas, after the league announced that we can expect more NFL International games over the next few years.
London’s Tottenham stadium will be the first to host a game in 2021, with more venues and teams to be rolled out later this year.
All 32 teams will have to play at least 1 international game once over the next eight years.
According to the league it will look for  “up to four neutral-site games per year in a country outside the United States will focus initially on Canada, Europe, Mexico, South America and the United Kingdom. In addition, interested clubs can continue to volunteer to play home games internationally, as is currently the case.”
When the games will be played and where is anyone’s guess, but we can make some inferences based on previous outings.

Canada

Canada has previously hosted NFL regular season games, and they did not go well.
Given that Toronto is only a 90 minute journey to Buffalo, it was assumed that Canuckleheaded fans would fill up the stadiums with maple pride.
They did not.
Toronto is a fickle city, and one Ernest Hemingway once described as a ‘fistulated asshole.’
If the Blue Jays are doing well, the Maple Leafs show a semblance of pulse, or a waft of warm air hits Ontario in October, Canadians make other plans.
Previous NFL games were beset by fan apathy, low turn out, snarky broadcasters, and truly bad playing conditions.
The Rogers Centre/ Skydome is a decaying downtown edifice whose turf has ruined more professional athletes careers than a Kardashian.
The Rogers family themselves are snarky snake billionaires with a grasp on the throat of Canadian media, and none too pleased with the NFL for turning down previous franchise opportunities.
If Canada does host NFL games, they will need to not be held in Toronto or Vancouver, where fans already have a taste of ‘American sports.’


South America

When the NFL says ‘South America’, we assume that the NFL means ‘Mexico’, given that Mexico has hosted previous NFL games.
Although Mexico is considered to be in North America, you can forgive sports fans for not giving a hoot about geography.
It’s highly unlikely that South America would host anything other than a vaccination drive, as Covid has torn through the region like Derek Henry playing ‘Red Rover.’
One can’t imagine Argentina, Peru or Brazil hosting a regular season NFL game given the security, testing, and kidnapping threats that exist in those regions.
Previous Mexico City NFL games have been well attended, but also fraught with peril.
These games cost the NFL the most in safety and security of ANY NFL game, not to mention the flurry of items tossed on the the field and hundreds of laser pointers aimed at QBs eyes.
Only the Raiders seem to do well in Mexico, which is fitting.

Europe

To Americans, Europe is a big country.
Not only did they save it in WW2, but they also kicked the Germans out of it.
They might be totally insulted to learn that not only IS Germany IN Europe, but that the Germans may actually host an NFL game.
Germany has a massive NFL fanbase, and it truly is their time to host a game.
American football has been a popular sport in the country since American GI’s were stationed there after the war. The game grew in appeal, and Germany boasts one of the best American football development program on the continent.
The only issue that might interfere is time. With a 6 hour gap between the states, a 1pm EST game wouldn’t kickoff until 7pm in Germany, making it a bit of a later prospect.
The games will still be awesome, and it will be great to see what Germany can offer as hosts.

UK

The UK has established itself as the de-facto home of the NFL outside of Europe, so what’s changed?
Covid obviously, but there is also a Wembley issue.
The Jacksonville Jaguars contract with Wembley has expired, and they also lost their pitch for a new downtown stadium. Will Khan take out his wrath, or find a new way?
By all accounts Wembley is keen to reopen the NFL despite Tottenham making the stadium push for future games.
Other stadiums that host Liverpool and Manchester United are also keen to refit their homes to potentially fit the NFL in for future years.
While the NFL may never establish another franchise in the UK, we may start to see games hosted around the country, as well as Scotland and Ireland in the mix.

With the big game announced for 2021, loads of questions have emerged.
When will the Falcons being playing at Tottenham, and who?
We have our thoughts here.

Which Sunday?

October 2021 has 5 potential Sundays to offer as one of the London games.
Previously, the NFL has tried to keep the International Games earlier in the season to balance out the byes, and fit the games within the busy hosting schedule of the city of London.
October 2021 has Sunday October 3, 10, 17, 24 & 31st as options for the London games, with each Sunday having a 20% chance of hosting the game.
With Week 1 of the NFL due to begin on Sun Sept 12th, that would make October 3rd part of the Week 4 schedule. Given Covid, rules, travel and more this might be more unlikely.
One of the biggest factors in choosing the date of the London game is time.
Clocks ‘fall back’ in October, with the US and UK having a gap of about a week when the clocks are only 4 hours apart.
The NFL has capitalised on this in the past, as this hour means a huge difference to the body clocks, and broadcast clocks of international timings.
UK clocks change on Sun Oct 31st, and US clocks on Sun Nov 7th. This means that there would be only a 4 hour gap on the 31st, making it the most likely date to host a game.
Sunday October 31st is Week 8 in the NFL, which is a tad late for a UK game, so we are not keen on it, especially with Diwali (Indian Festival of Lights) set to take over central London less than a week later.
Prediction: Sunday October 17th (Week 6)

Atlanta Opponent

The Atlanta Falcons will be playing a ‘non-divisional’ opponent for their 2021 game, which means that there are only 5 teams that they could potentially play.
These teams are Detroit, New England, NY Jets, Washington or Philly, each with an even 20% chance of being chosen.
Detroit last visited London in 2015, where they took an epic beating at the hands of Alex Smith and the Chiefs. The Lions aren’t really an international fan draw, and with so many changes in the organisation, an unlikely pairing for this match.
Washington is rebuilding not only as a team, but also as a franchise. With owner Dan Snyder under the microscope for being a bit naughty, it’s unlikely that the league would want him to travel internationally, where the foreign press would be keen to address his ‘reputation’.
The Eagles were only here in 2018, with Carson Wentz carving out a win over the hapless Jaguars. Very doubtful that they would be back here again this soon.
New York Jets and New England Patriots are the other teams that could be London bound.
Jets owner (and former UK Ambassador-Woody Johnson) is back home & working in the vaccine factory, so he might be inclined to not let his team back to his former home. The Jets last played in London in 2015, beating the Dolphins in a Wembley stinker.
Bill Belichick and the boys haven’t played in London since 2015, when a guy named Tom Brady was still at QB.
The Patriots have shed a lot of weight, personnel and allure as of late, with the team missing their first playoffs in decades.
Given that they are the only team with ‘England’ in their name, they would be odds on favourites to make the crowds happy, and sell tickets.
Boston is the closest US city to fly to London, so that 5 hours might seem like nothing compared to West coast jaunts.
After all, who wouldn’t want a Super Bowl matchup in England?
Let’s do it!
Prediction: New England Patriots

Full Prediction

We think the 2021 NFL London will be…the Atlanta Falcons hosting the New England Patriots at Wembley on Sunday October 17th, 2021

In closing, we have no idea what is really going to happen.
Covid is still on the field, and despite vaccine efforts, we still don’t know what the NFL could look like for this season.
Commissioner Goodell has promised that we will have ‘100% capacity’ at all stadiums, but that could be about as accurate as our predictions.

Watch this space as we will have full details on who is playing the Atlanta Falcons here as soon as we know it.  London is calling Atlanta!

Sad Nachos

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Good food can help make a great football game better. Bad food turns a bad game into a travesty.
So what quantifies as bad nachos, or even sad nachos?
Pretty much everything you’ll find at a UK pub chain.

Nachos have been a struggle menu item for most British restaurants.
To many it’s just a matter of ‘putting cheese on crisps’, which rewards the eater with bland taste, sharp edges and no reminder of home.

The first time a North American orders nachos from a ‘Spoons, you quickly realise what kind of mistake you have made.
Shortly after a server appears with a plate of Doritos that have been microwaved covered in some cheese slices. No extra toppings, flavour, or even good corn chips…just plain old Doritos.
It’s the NFL equivalent to showing up to a game, only to find out it’s a New York Jets practice, with only 3rd string players.

Expats quickly learn what NOT to order on a British menu to avoid tainting the taste of home.
Hot dogs that come in jars in the canned goods aisle? Hard pass.
Cheeseburgers pre-made and sold in a gas station. No thanks.
Asking for ‘lemonade’ and getting a warm can of Sprite. Oh geez.
Nachos could easily stand for ‘No American Cheese, Habaneros Or Salsa’.

So how does someone learn to just not give a crap about cooking?
Follow the lead of this guy, who apparently is the only one with some kind of cooking acumen at this network.
His nachos recipe looks more like a cry for help or a sign of suicide rather than a cooking segment.

Our man Weber is a microwave kind of guy, and you get the impression that this is not only his ONLY recipe, but that he probably eats this every night sitting in his tight-whiteys watching late night runs of the dating show ‘Studs.’
This is the nacho recipe for the everyman.

If you’re looking for a way NOT to make nachos, or the spirit animal of the sad divorcee, than this is the video for you.

There are some good nachos in the UK by the way. we just have yet to taste them.
If you have any recommendations for the best nachos in the UK, make sure to give us a holler.
We’ll all be eating crap nachos and watching the games together soon.