Okay… well… let’s call that an inauspicious start. In the debut week of this column, my week 6 picks were… largely disappointing. My overall week predictions (9-5) salvaged my tips which did not have a particularly impressive showing. Largely, the blame for this falls squarely at the feet of two teams: The New England Patriots, who inexplicably made the beaten up Denver Broncos look like the ‘85 Bears, and the Cleveland Browns who… ugh… Browns-d it right up against the Steelers. Should I have seen that coming? Probably. Anyway, new week, new me! Let’s go again. Redemption starts here. Same concept: Six sections, including sure things, longshot punts and a prediction for every game.
The 1st and Goal from the 1. (Season Record: 1-1)
So somehow went 1-1 last week on this. Shoutout the Dolphins for doing what they were supposed to, even when Cam was too incompetent to do his job…
Okay. Simple things. That’s what we’re looking for here. So… Who is the worst team in the NFL? Gang Green: The 0-6 New York Jets. And who are said Jets playing this week? Oh, the Bills of Buffalo? With one Joshua Allen at Quarterback? He who has a rocket arm and legs that carry his big sturdy frame forward at alarming speed and momentum? I like him. He wasn’t good against the Chiefs – but we’ll blame the conditions a bit – so I expect Josh to bounce back big here. The Jets are firmly planted in the Trevor Lawrence sweepstakes. The Bills win this game. ZERO doubt.
The 45yd Field Goal (Season Record: 0-1)
This line should be posted all over the Cowboys’ locker room walls. The UTTER disrespect… Dallas are ONE POINT favourites against the 1-4, very average, lacking in any real talent beyond Terry McLaurin and Chase Young Washington Football Team. Yeah, I get it: The Cowboys were awful on Monday. Dalton didn’t sling it like we were expecting (see, my over losing), Zeke’s hands have been replaced with sticks of butter, and their defense couldn’t stop a team of referees from picking up a first down. BUT this is still the Dallas Cowboys offense. Zeke will not keep putting the ball on the ground. The Cowboys should run (and throw) all over this team. Dallas Cowboys -1.0. Yes please.
The Hail Mary (Season Record: 0-1)
So we need a long shot, or at least big odds for this one. There aren’t many underdogs I like on the board this week, so I’m sticking to heavily backing a favourite I love. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this yet, but the Jets are AWFUL. Even with Sam Darnold back, they’re not good enough to put a fight up against the Bills. The Bills defense held up quite respectably against the Chiefs passing attack, and Frank Gore is not going to run through the Bills like Clyde Edwards-Helaire did. Josh Allen will sling it, the Bills will score points. I like the Bills to win every quarter at 7/1.
The Over (Season Record: 0-1)
Oooooooh there could be some points scored this weekend… lots of tasty matchups which I can see disintegrating into shootouts and garbage time touchdowns. So I’m gonna rattle off a few here:
Browns vs Bengals – Over 50.5
Well, Baker HAS to bounce back. The Browns really need this game, but a scrappy Cincinnati team (who pushed the Colts close last week) can put up some resistance. The Browns have been quietly very good on offense aside from in their two lopsided losses. I don’t think they lose this game; I think they score 30+ on a below-par Bengals defense. Joe Burrow is good enough and determined enough to keep himself in the game – despite the absence of Joe Mixon. Points.
Lions vs Falcons – Over 55.0
Yep, the line is high, but Stafford and Ryan could very legitimately shred each other’s DBs all afternoon long. D’Andre Swift has started to break out a little bit, and Gurley and Hurst are providing a nice compliment to Atlanta’s stacked WR room. It’s high, but I think it’ll get there.
Seahawks vs Cardinals – Over 56.0
Another high line, but the newly-flexed Sunday Night Football matchup is one of the most electric of the weekend. Russ gets back in the kitchen, ready to cook after his bye week. Kyler is fast becoming the one rival to Lamar’s title of biggest dual threat Quarterback. Hopkins, Kirk and Fitz vs Lockett, Moore and Metcalf. Carson vs Drake. Carroll vs Kingsbury. Nobody on the field will want to defend. 28 points each has been almost a guarantee for these two teams so far. Let’s keep that run going.
The Parlay (Winning Parlays: 0/1, Winning Legs: 3/5)
I know. I know. I know. We took Cleveland last week, and they burned us. I know. BUT this is a new week, and much less formidable defense for Baker to throw against. The Browns torched the Bengals earlier this season and I think a Cleveland win by a TD or more is likely.
Now, I do think the Saints win this game, but Teddy Bridge is good enough to keep it close. 7 points feels like a lot for a Saints team who – whilst coming off a bye – are missing their top two WRs to injury and the COVID-list. I expect a heavy dose of Alvin Kamara and Mike Davis respectively. Tight game, Saints win, Panthers cover the 7 points.
See above… this line feels fraudulent. The Cowboys comeback story arc starts here.
Yuuuuuuup, it’s a lot of points. How many did the Jets lose by last week? 24!? 24 to 0!? Against the Dolphins!? Okay, ha, yeah, definitely Bills -10.0.
Bill is angry. Cam is angry. Stephon is angry. The whole of Boston is angry. The Patriots conspired to lose a game where their opposition didn’t score a Touchdown… HUUUUUH!? Yup. Somehow, that’s what happened. But this is the perfect bounce back game. Bill gets to shut down the guy he traded away. I don’t believe Jimmy G is good enough to beat the team who had earmarked him as the heir to TB12. They traded him for a reason. Shanahan will have some plans cooked up, but I think the Niners are still too injury ravaged to hand the Patriots another loss.
£10 on this parlay pays about £235 depending on your bookmaker.
The Full English (Season Record: 9-5)
Bills vs Jets – Bills
Panthers vs Saints – Saints
Browns vs Bengals – Browns
Washington vs Cowboys – Cowboys
Lions vs Falcons – Falcons
Packers vs Texans – Packers
Steelers vs Titans – Steelers (But this is such a toss up, won’t be at all surprised if Tennessee win)
Buccaneers vs Raiders – Buccaneers (piss off please Covid… I want to watch this game)
Jaguars vs Chargers – Chargers
Chiefs vs Broncos – Chiefs
49ers vs Patriots – Patriots
Seahawks vs Cardinals – Seahawks
Bears vs Rams – Rams
Enjoy your week 7! As ever, I’m @callumjdsquires on Twitter & Instagram. Let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to see me discuss or suggest picks for… Come chat and tell me why I’m wrong and your team is going to win this week. Jets fans need not contact me. Cheers.
All lines accurate as of 11pm Friday.
-Callum Squires is a British writer and former college athlete in America