Another week in the NFL offseason brings with it a myriad of shame, as we break down some of the lowest lows in this weeks’ podcast, Back to the Kitchen.
Wade McElwain and Ryan Cull go through all of the NFL malarky, to offer you some nuggets of wisdom, despite their limited intelligence.
Among some of the other things that the guys discuss in this podcast, includes:
Brady Balls
So the rumours keep chunking out that TB12 was due to not only QB the Dolphins, but also be a part owner, until bad boy Bill Belichick pissed all over the parade by tipping off Brian Flores.
If it’s all true, it’s a very Putin-esque way of making sure that Miami doesn’t expand in their division, after all, they’re full of nazis.
Brady might be back in 2023 to try this whole thing again!
Unfollow Deebo
After being used and abused as the ‘go-to’ man for the 49ers last years, speedster Deebo Samuel wants to get paid.
After watching Davante Adams get paid, then Tyreek, then everyone else, Deebo wants to be the next money man, and San Fran better pony up.
Of course, the 49ers like many teams don’t have the cashola to keep up with player egos, so Deebo’s block could remain in place until the team can find ways to ‘restructure.’
Carr’s Crackers
Derek Carr can finally breathe that big breath of freedom, as the Raiders made good on a promise to keep him in Sin City for the foreseeable future.
After signing for $121.5m until 2025, Carr solidifies himself as the longest termed QB of the future, and allowing him to play with all his speedy new toys.
Derek Carr is what Baker Mayfield wishes what he saw in the mirror.
Baker’s Baked
Baker Mayfield has now entered the ‘Whiny’ phase of his career, preferring to bitch and moan instead of doing anything about it.
BM was recently captured saying that he wishes he could ‘boo fans where they work’, to see how they liked it.
The does nothing to help Baker get a starting job this year, although it does give him the proper attitude to become a pundit.
AB BA ABBA!
Poor AB..actually, screw him! And Floyd Mayweather.
Floyd has offered to cover the losses of any team that takes a chance on AB (and offering him $20M) for the 2023 season.
If dude can’t keep it together playing with Tom Brady, do you think he’ll show any sense of class playing with the likes of Kirk Cousins or Carson Wentz?
Save the drama for your many baby mama’s!
Cam Cam Cam
Cam Newton made himself less relevant this week when he unleashed a slew of misogny for no reason whatsoever.
Cam was heard to be dismissive of women, and suggested that they ‘go back to the kitchen’, in a refreshing take for a man under 40.
If those fancy hats were stopping you from getting a job before Mr. Newton, your gendered social media performance will certainly help you out with that.
USFL
It’s back! If you have been missing the feels of football, you’re in luck this weekend, as the USFL returns to our televisions.
If you weren’t aware, the USFL existed in the 1980s’, but fell into ruin thanks to the efforts of a certain Donald Trump (plus way more reasons!).
Here’s something to jog your memory.
Anywho, the USFL is back this weekend, and will offer NFL fans a chance to catch on more football! Hooray!
The first game will see New Jersey face Birmingham at 12:30am GMT Sunday.
Sunday will see some more UK friendly viewing times, as Houston takes on Michigan at 5pm, Philly vs New Orleans at 9pm, and Tamps vs Pittsburgh on 1am Monday morning.
According the USFL website, the games will be available in the UK via ESPN International…so you probably won’t be able to watch them.
Dwayne Haskins
The NFL world was shocked this week to lose NFL player Dwayne Haskins in a roadside accident.
He was a young, black man who had enormous pressure thrust upon him as a starting QB, and his struggles were something we all could see on a weekly basis.
Hugs and love to his family and friends who have to deal with such a senseless tragedy.
