This just in, the NFC East has been sold to the XFL for a McRib sandwich and a picture of Archie Manning in a speedo inside sources confirm.
The sale represents part of the XFL’s rebuilding plans to recycle some of the garbage from the NFL and repurpose it into something more useful.
According to XFL’s new owner Dwayne ‘The Rock’ ‘Mr Instagram’ ‘All Killer-No Filler’ Johnson, the purchase is part of a new global plan to take the worst things on the planet, and turn them into the best.
He plans on dissembling the NFC East and breaking into smaller, more digestible parts, for easier consumption.
Whatever is left of this will me made into a birthday gift for Kevin Hart.
As for the gap left by the sale of the NFC East, the NFL has announced it already has plans for the empty space as a result of the transaction.
NFL head honcho Roger Goodell confirmed that the league is already in discussion with the Harlem Globetrotters to be retrained as NFL players, despite them having an average age of 46 years old.
‘Retraining is the new training’ Goodell said in a press conference held from his guest bathroom on Saturday, ‘these guys are athletes and sports are for sport people who sport’ he added while delivering his statements while still on the toilet.
He apologised later for the setting of the press conference saying ‘Arby’s is still a no go for me, and when you add an edible you find in your glove compartment…well, you know what happens…am I right fellas’?
All NFC players left in the lurch by the sale have been offered Target gift cards, and dates with whatever Kardashian is single.