Well that was a bit of a surprise wasn’t it?
Week 1 came in like a rainbow, and left like a sloppy wet storm as the 2022 NFL season is officially under way.
If you’ve just awoken from a coma, or have been inconsolable over the death of Queen Elizabeth, we’re here to give you a recap, in our Week 1 Review.
Bills Hype
At the start of the season, everyone was talking Josh Allen and the Bills, and how they were primed for a SuperBowl run this year.
Well after their dismantling of the LA Rams on TNF, it certainly looks like the Bills are ready to shuffle off to the post season.
Sure, there were loads of mistakes in the game, but by the second quarter we saw a Buffalo squad that moved the ball wherever Josh wanted it to be, not to mention stifling Matt Stafford and a Rams team who looked like they didn’t even know who they were playing.
Get yourself to Witness Protection-because the Bills Mafia are looking for victims.
NFC North
Bears win, and Aaron Rodgers gets choked out by the Vikes. Yes, you heard that correctly.
Rodgers looked incredibly pissed in a big L to the division challenging Vikings.
Flipping channels to watch Davante Adams snagging oodles of Carr’s balls, while Rodgers limp balls found no hands.
While it’s too early to ‘count out’ any team-it certainly seems that the Packers need some sort of Viagra to get the blood pumping.
The Bears were able to smother Trey Lance on a wet Sunday, but it was the Bears D who was the real star here-making it tough for the 49ers move the ball.
Detroit lost in a nail biter against a tough Philly squad-causing Dan Campbell to double his caffeine intake.
Minnesota is looking good.
What the Mahomes
Who said Patrick Mahomes was too old, past his prime and would never be back to the big game? (no one hopefully).
We did say that Jackson Mahomes needs to STFU and get his grown ass a job…
Patty Mahomes was incredible on Sunday night, ripping the Cardinals a new one with 5 TDs and 360 yards passing. Sure, the Cardinals are dealing with loads of injuries already, but it’s clear that ‘Tyreek Who?’, isn’t an issue any more.
Now if only Jackson and JuJu could make a super Tik Tok that destroyed them both…
Dak It
Just when you were getting ready to roast the Cowboys for another feckless season, Dan goes out and hurts his hand again.
Dem Boyz took a hefty beating from TB12 and the Bucs on SNF-not as much as Dak’s hand, but a beating nonetheless.
Many Vegas bookies have already written Dallas off as a playoff team.
Back to the back up QB once again.
Kicking It
What the heck was with the kickers in week 1?
The Steelers-Bengals game was painful to watch, as each kicker took the worst of the early games, and dragged it into the second set of games to torture us all.
After that many misses, surely they could just bring a fan in and try to give it a go?
Koo was on fire…the east of you…practice!
Justin Jefferson
If we ever run out of solutions for the energy crisis, we should just hire Justin Jefferson to ‘light it up’ for us every week.
The much vaunted Packers D was no match for Jefferson, who was so open-he was offering free shopping carts to anyone who wanted a ride.
Jefferson proved he is well worth the fantasy splurge after humbling Green Bay.
Imagine what he’ll do against a really BAD defence?
Patriotical
Could the New England Patriots be the worst team in the AFC East this year? Sure looks like it after getting dick-punched by the Dolphins on Sunday.
Sure, it was a sweltering day in south Florida, but Billy B and the boys went down there early to prepare for the game.
Eesh. Mac Jones took a few tough hits, but even tougher on the Pats is that it looks like scoring is going to be REALLY hard for them this year.
Oh well…off to Week 2.
Who do you like?
