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The Picks Six

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Okay… well… let’s call that an inauspicious start. In the debut week of this column, my week 6 picks were… largely disappointing. My overall week predictions (9-5) salvaged my tips which did not have a particularly impressive showing. Largely, the blame for this falls squarely at the feet of two teams: The New England Patriots, who inexplicably made the beaten up Denver Broncos look like the ‘85 Bears, and the Cleveland Browns who… ugh… Browns-d it right up against the Steelers. Should I have seen that coming? Probably. Anyway, new week, new me! Let’s go again. Redemption starts here. Same concept: Six sections, including sure things, longshot punts and a prediction for every game. 

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The 1st and Goal from the 1. (Season Record: 1-1)

So somehow went 1-1 last week on this. Shoutout the Dolphins for doing what they were supposed to, even when Cam was too incompetent to do his job… 

Okay. Simple things. That’s what we’re looking for here. So… Who is the worst team in the NFL? Gang Green: The 0-6 New York Jets. And who are said Jets playing this week? Oh, the Bills of Buffalo? With one Joshua Allen at Quarterback? He who has a rocket arm and legs that carry his big sturdy frame forward at alarming speed and momentum? I like him. He wasn’t good against the Chiefs – but we’ll blame the conditions a bit – so I expect Josh to bounce back big here. The Jets are firmly planted in the Trevor Lawrence sweepstakes. The Bills win this game. ZERO doubt.

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The 45yd Field Goal (Season Record: 0-1)

This line should be posted all over the Cowboys’ locker room walls. The UTTER disrespect… Dallas are ONE POINT favourites against the 1-4, very average, lacking in any real talent beyond Terry McLaurin and Chase Young Washington Football Team. Yeah, I get it: The Cowboys were awful on Monday. Dalton didn’t sling it like we were expecting (see, my over losing), Zeke’s hands have been replaced with sticks of butter, and their defense couldn’t stop a team of referees from picking up a first down. BUT this is still the Dallas Cowboys offense. Zeke will not keep putting the ball on the ground. The Cowboys should run (and throw) all over this team. Dallas Cowboys -1.0. Yes please.

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The Hail Mary (Season Record: 0-1)

So we need a long shot, or at least big odds for this one. There aren’t many underdogs I like on the board this week, so I’m sticking to heavily backing a favourite I love. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this yet, but the Jets are AWFUL. Even with Sam Darnold back, they’re not good enough to put a fight up against the Bills. The Bills defense held up quite respectably against the Chiefs passing attack, and Frank Gore is not going to run through the Bills like Clyde Edwards-Helaire did. Josh Allen will sling it, the Bills will score points. I like the Bills to win every quarter at 7/1. 

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The Over (Season Record: 0-1)

Oooooooh there could be some points scored this weekend… lots of tasty matchups which I can see disintegrating into shootouts and garbage time touchdowns. So I’m gonna rattle off a few here:

Browns vs Bengals – Over 50.5

Well, Baker HAS to bounce back. The Browns really need this game, but a scrappy Cincinnati team (who pushed the Colts close last week) can put up some resistance. The Browns have been quietly very good on offense aside from in their two lopsided losses. I don’t think they lose this game; I think they score 30+ on a below-par Bengals defense. Joe Burrow is good enough and determined enough to keep himself in the game – despite the absence of Joe Mixon. Points. 

Lions vs Falcons – Over 55.0

Yep, the line is high, but Stafford and Ryan could very legitimately shred each other’s DBs all afternoon long. D’Andre Swift has started to break out a little bit, and Gurley and Hurst are providing a nice compliment to Atlanta’s stacked WR room. It’s high, but I think it’ll get there. 

Seahawks vs Cardinals – Over 56.0

Another high line, but the newly-flexed Sunday Night Football matchup is one of the most electric of the weekend. Russ gets back in the kitchen, ready to cook after his bye week. Kyler is fast becoming the one rival to Lamar’s title of biggest dual threat Quarterback. Hopkins, Kirk and Fitz vs Lockett, Moore and Metcalf. Carson vs Drake. Carroll vs Kingsbury. Nobody on the field will want to defend. 28 points each has been almost a guarantee for these two teams so far. Let’s keep that run going. 

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The Parlay (Winning Parlays: 0/1, Winning Legs: 3/5) 

Browns -3.0

I know. I know. I know. We took Cleveland last week, and they burned us. I know. BUT this is a new week, and much less formidable defense for Baker to throw against. The Browns torched the Bengals earlier this season and I think a Cleveland win by a TD or more is likely. 

Panthers +7.0

Now, I do think the Saints win this game, but Teddy Bridge is good enough to keep it close. 7 points feels like a lot for a Saints team who – whilst coming off a bye – are missing their top two WRs to injury and the COVID-list. I expect a heavy dose of Alvin Kamara and Mike Davis respectively. Tight game, Saints win, Panthers cover the 7 points. 

Cowboys -1.0

See above… this line feels fraudulent. The Cowboys comeback story arc starts here. 

Bills -10.0

Yuuuuuuup, it’s a lot of points. How many did the Jets lose by last week? 24!? 24 to 0!? Against the Dolphins!? Okay, ha, yeah, definitely Bills -10.0.

Patriots -2.0

Bill is angry. Cam is angry. Stephon is angry. The whole of Boston is angry. The Patriots conspired to lose a game where their opposition didn’t score a Touchdown… HUUUUUH!? Yup. Somehow, that’s what happened. But this is the perfect bounce back game. Bill gets to shut down the guy he traded away. I don’t believe Jimmy G is good enough to beat the team who had earmarked him as the heir to TB12. They traded him for a reason. Shanahan will have some plans cooked up, but I think the Niners are still too injury ravaged to hand the Patriots another loss. 

£10 on this parlay pays about £235 depending on your bookmaker.

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The Full English (Season Record: 9-5)

Bills vs Jets – Bills

Panthers vs Saints – Saints

Browns vs Bengals – Browns

Washington vs Cowboys – Cowboys

Lions vs Falcons – Falcons

Packers vs Texans – Packers

Steelers vs Titans – Steelers (But this is such a toss up, won’t be at all surprised if Tennessee win)

Buccaneers vs Raiders – Buccaneers (piss off please Covid… I want to watch this game)

Jaguars vs Chargers – Chargers

Chiefs vs Broncos – Chiefs

49ers vs Patriots – Patriots

Seahawks vs Cardinals – Seahawks

Bears vs Rams – Rams 

Enjoy your week 7! As ever, I’m @callumjdsquires on Twitter & Instagram. Let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to see me discuss or suggest picks for… Come chat and tell me why I’m wrong and your team is going to win this week. Jets fans need not contact me. Cheers.

All lines accurate as of 11pm Friday.

-Callum Squires is a British writer and former college athlete in America

Sky Week 7

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What a nut bar of a week it was in the NFL, as it had more surprises than a gender reveal at a polygamy cult.
There’s nothing like seeing Aaron Rodgers strip on an imaginary belt only to have Tom Brady yank it off of him throughout the night.
Week 7 is upon us, and Sky has released their schedule of games so you know which games will be blacked out on NFL Gamepass.

Time Change

‘Spring forward, fall back, 2020 is a punch in the nut sack’ as the old farmers expression goes. Clocks in the UK fall back on Sunday am, not that anyone will be awake to see it happen this year.
Those of you planning on watching NFL this weekend, be aware that the games are EARLY. That means they start an hour ahead, so you can stay up later.
It also means football (soccer) will clash with even more games, not that we can go to pubs and watch the games.

TNF

Giants vs Eagles
1:20am

If you stay up late to watch this one, you might have some problems. These two teams, who have a combined 2 wins between them will be duking it out Friday morning to fewer viewers than the stuttering girl on Babestation. At least you want to see her make it to the end of the night, this game-not so much.

Sunday

Steelers vs Titans
5pm 

Warm up that Sunday roast, we have a battle on our hands! The battle of the undefeated kicks off at 5pm, allowing us to see a game when the sun is up. But since the clocks change, we also lose that 5pm sunshine. Carry on 2020! You won’t be able to watch this game on NFL Gamepass (unless you have a VPN). Sadly none of the bars we work with are planning on showing this game…so get the BBQ started and safe distance this bad boy.

49ers vs Patriots
8:25pm

This game looked great at the start of the season, but now both of these teams are adequate at best. The Seahawks vs Cardinals will be on Gamepass if you’re looking for an ‘action game’, but this one should be ok.
Billy B will be looking to stymie Kittle in this match, as Jimmy G climbs out of his hole to see if he can win a big game. This game will finish by midnight, which means you can watch it with the kids who are still on half term.

Monday

Bucs vs Raiders
12:20am 

Midnight is still late, but not too late when 2020 is a perpetual holiday of pain. TB12 and the boys are flocking to Vegas to beat on Carr & the boys. This game might actually be worth staying up for, as Tom & Gronk look to have the band back together again. It finishes before 4am, so you have plenty of time to start your paper route a few hours later.

Tuesday

Bears vs Rams
12:15am

Not too late to be able to catch the Bears visiting LA for this Monday Night/ Tuesday am matchup.
This game should be exciting, as the Rams are somehow favoured in this contest. How many times will Goff get sacked? A few. This game is also available on Channel 5 and Amazon Prime.

DraftKings

Join our DraftKings League so that you can play along with us this weekend! We have loads of contests to choose from-either free to play or paid contests. All you need to do is join right here!
https://dkn.gs/r/kwxDR0JIokKPkA6cPjCtNA

Watch this space, as we will update you on all the news and any potential cancelations for Week 7.

 

 

The Picks Six

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Yo! Welcome to the first edition of The Picks Six. This is a new concept, so bare with me whilst I figure it out. But each week I’m gonna give 6 types of picks or tips for the upcoming slate of games. Each category is a little different; some are sure fire “this is definitely going to happen,” and some are long shots “this is a bit of a dream but it’s plausible at least.” Like for example last week. I thought the Dolphins had a great shot at upsetting the 49ers. And they did. Wish I’d started this column last week now… We’ll keep track of how I do in each category so you can know which ones to trust and which ones to laugh at. 

Anyway… for us Brits, this week’s Sky Sports Slate of games is absolutely electric. Steelers vs Browns, Buccaneers vs Packers, Rams vs 49ers (ehhhh okay not great), Bills vs Chiefs AND Cardinals vs Cowboys? 4 out of 5 are legitimately must see. But if I can avoid watching Jimmy G I will absolutely do so, so let’s just pretend that game isn’t happening for the rest of this article? Cool! Let’s get stuck into my picks. 

1) The 1st and Goal from the One 

This is my lock of the week. A sure fire winner surely. 

I’m very tempted to pick the Panthers to beat the (extremely fraudulent, sorry not sorry Wade) 4-1 Bears, but I’m not quite as confident in that as a couple other options this weekend. It’s two AFC East teams, and I just cannot see any way they lose this weekend. I’m talking about the Patriots and the Dolphins. New England have seemingly survived Cam’s corona scare… and he’s back this week to face the fairly unfortunate Broncos, who have been decimated by injuries and then this week had the story of Melvin Gordon getting a DUI. It’s not been great for Denver, and I don’t think their luck changes on Sunday. Belichick can see a glimmer of light at the top of the AFC East after the Bills lost on Tuesday night. I’m taking the Patriots to win in comfortable fashion. BUT – as a bonus for the first week of this column, I’m also taking the Dolphins, who face the newly LeVeon Bell-less Jets. Adam Gase man… where do you even start? Probably best to make this quick. Brian Flores has the Dolphins playing great football and winning games. The Jets are absolutely horrific. I feel (for once) very confident that my Fins get their 3rd win of the season on Sunday.

2) The 45yd Field Goal (around even odds)

This is my mid-range, toss up of the week. 

So my pick is going to Green to beat Tampa in the matchup I’ve dubbed “battle of the bays.” I’m sure that’s copyrighted by someone else but hey, it sounds good. Tommy B has been up and down since relocating to Florida, and AA Rod is in the middle of his “how dare you not rank me in the top 10 of the NFL 100” revenge tour. It’s hard for me to understand why the Packers are ONLY favoured by a solitary point here coming off a Bye last week. I know the Buccaneers defense is tasty, but Aaron Jones and the (hopefully) returning healthy Davante Adams are too electrifying to stop, and they’ll both benefit from having the other in the lineup. Let’s go for Green Bay -1.0.

3). The Hail Mary (4/1 or longer)

This is my shot from half field. Unlikely, but you never know. 

The AFC North is fast confirming itself to be – alongside the NFC West – the best division in Football. The Ravens, Steelers AND (surprisingly) Browns are all proving themselves to be playoff calibration teams, with potential SuperBowl aspirations. Big Ben’s comeback player of the year campaign is off to a flyer, and rookie WR Chase Claypool set the Fantasy Football world on fire last week with 45 points in his 4TD demolition of the Eagles. Cleveland faced their toughest defense (since the Ravens in week 1) and dismantled the Colts with relative ease. Baker looked good, Kareem Hunt is running like he did in Kansas City, and OBJ has maybe got his mojo back. I’m so excited for this matchup. BUT I think this really means a lot to the Browns. They’re used to getting eviscerated by Pittsburgh and, after the “contentious” ending to last season’s second matchup (you know, the one with the attempted murder??), I think Myles Garrett will be out for… errr… sacks!? Cleveland are the underdogs but if they can get the run game going they can limit the Steelers’ time of possession. Ben will always air it out to try and catch up but I think the Browns have enough to not only upset the Steelers but win by a wider margin than expected.

We’re gonna go Cleveland Browns to win by 7-12 points. 

4) The Over

I like points. Sue me. Give me 45-44 over 17-14 every day. I’m a Big XII guy. Points points points. Throw the ball. So, I’m using this section to look at the points totals and pick an over that I like. 

Cardinals @ Cowboys – Over 55.0

Yeah, it’s a high line, but this has “shootout” written all over it. I love the Cardinals. I absolutely love them. They’re so exciting. Kyler is a speed demon. Hopkins is – for me – the best receiver in the league. Their run game has struggled but we all know Kenyan Drake could just turn it on one week and blow people away again. And then you’ve got Dallas. Firstly, get well soon Dak. Secondly, Andy Dalton is… not Dak Prescott, but has a better set of weapons in Dallas than he EVER had in Cincinnati. Lamb, Cooper & Gallup can cause Patrick Peterson and the Cardinals DBs a lot of issues, creating space for Zeke between the tackles, especially now Chandler Jones is done for the year. But Kyler and Hopkins will feast on a suspect Cowboys secondary that made the Giants look like an offensive powerhouse at times last week. I’m excited to see these two offenses beat up on the defenses on Monday Night. 

5) The Parlay

A little 5 team accumulator for the people. 

Titans -3.5 (how are Tennessee, who are 4-0, only -3.5 against a 1-4 Houston team?!)

Dolphins -10.0 (yeah, it’s A LOT of points for the Dolphins and Fitzmagic to cover… BUT… I mean… have you SEEN the Jets?)

Patriots -9.5 (Cam’s back, and the Broncos are broken. Even if Drew Lock plays, the New England defense is nasty enough to give him nightmares)

Browns +3.5 (I think they win outright, but the FG + a half point here makes this feel like a safe bet)

Lions -3.0 (Golladay back, Sacksonville ain’t what it used to be, Lions managed to beat the Cardinals – a GOOD team – earlier this year. I trust Stafford to win this game)

£10 on this pays about £260 depending on your Bookmaker.

6) The Full English

This is just gonna be my straight up, nice and simple, prediction for who wins every single game each week. We’ll keep a rolling total and win % for me and hopefully it’ll be a number significantly higher than 50…

ATL vs MIN – Atlanta

BAL vs PHI – Ravens

CHI vs CAR – Panthers

CIN vs IND – Colts

CLE vs PIT – Browns

DEN vs NE – Patriots

DET vs JAX – Lions

HOU vs TEN – Titans

WAS vs NYG – Giants

NYJ vs MIA – Dolphins

GB vs TB – Packers

LAR vs SF – Rams

KC vs BUF – Chiefs

ARI vs DAL – Cardinals

And that’s it! Can’t wait to get absolutely none of these right this week. Hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts. Fingers crossed you come back next week. I’m @callumjdsquires on Twitter and Instagram if you wanna chat further. Have a good one!

All Lines and Totals accurate as of Friday 16th October at 15:00. 

Callum Squires is a London based writer, Dolphins fan and regular contributor to NFL in London. 

New York Jokes

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The New York Jets have had such an abysmal season thus far, you wonder how far they can fall before they become full on jokes.
Adam Gase has all the Bill O’Brien like qualities to put his head on the chopping block, but for some reason he has hung on thus far.
Will this be the week of his demise.

Looking at Jets players, they have the same zest and zeal for the game as an 80 year old man working in an Amazon fulfilment centre. Frank Gore looks a shell of his former 40, 30 and 20 year old self, while Le’veon Bell sits and counts his Benjamins on the bench while he dreams about opening his own Chipotle.
Word is that Sam Darnold has reached out to movie star Bruce Willis this week to help him solve his ‘ghost-seeing’ problem.

It’s not just the state of New York that is having NFL performance issues this year, as Philly & Washington add to the overall ‘suck’ of the NFC East. This was a division that people feared in the 90s’, but just like frosted tips, things can fall out of fashion quickly.
Russell Wilson has more touchdowns that the collective quarterbacks in the NFC East combined.

Ambassador Woody Johnson seems oblivious to the whole situation. Granted an Ambassador can’t really step in as he performs his duties to the nation, but he might want to look to deport Adam Gase somewhere to stop the freefall of this once great team.
Curtis Martin would be spitting in his grave. Fortunately he’s not dead, so he just spits into social media.

It’s not even like they are ‘Tanking for Trevor’, as Sam Darnold was supposed to be the man of their salvation. Will the go 0-16 this year, or hope that the Corona-Fairy intervenes on their behalf?

Jameis 30

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Jameis Winston certainly has had a topsy turvy career. From first round pick, to number one in pickoffs, Jameis brings as much excitement as he does disappointment.
It only seems fitting then that Jameis should have his own 30 for 30.

Ok, maybe not a real ESPN 30 for 30 episode, but a YouTube mockery version that takes aim at both his greatness and ineptitude.
Jameis now riding the pines in New Orleans, but it was only a year ago that he was leading the Bucs on a mediocre charge in which they missed the playoffs.

Sure Jameis has a great arm, unfortunately the aim of that arm had more picks than a crusty nosed cokehead the next morning.
He was never one that you could count on to either take or regain the lead, but he was good at being able to create excitement in a game that you never really cared about.

To honour Jameis, so wise asses online decided to make a mock 30 for 30 episode about the main who gets 30 TDs and 30 INTs.
A fitting tribute to the mid range QB that he is.