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mitch trubisky

Lady QBs-1

June 25, 2020 by nflinlondon

Lockdown has led to lunacy! Have you noticed?
One of the triggering elements that I have noticed is that the more bored people get, the more they play around with apps and memes to occupy the darkness that envelopes our everyday life.
Case in point-NFL QBs as ladies.

FaceApp is one of those hokey apps that allows you to cross the gender barrier to see what you would look like as a member of the opposite sex. This self-serving digital switch not only allows you to revel in your curious side, but also gives your mates the opportunity to rank how they would ‘do you.’
Nothing creepy about this at all.

It was only a matter of time then that someone would take a look at some of the biggest names in the NFL and think, ‘yep, it’s your time.’
As if racism wasn’t a hot enough issue, let’s toss a little misogyny in for good measure.
Of course I kid, but it seems like everyone has their knickers in such a knot these days it’s hard to be able to joke about anything.

As a comedian however, I reserve the right to be able to throw around some playful banter.
Therefore I have decided to look at some of the best QB face-swaps and measurements their potential as a girlfriend.
No lady bashing here, just equating their dateability with some of their on and off the field misadventures.
A lampoon of all their foibles and fuck-ups.
If this offends you…seriously…just go away.

Here we go.

Thomasina Brady

First off she’s a cheater. You’ve heard it from everyone, and even worse there’s a rumour she might deflate your balls. Don’t get me wrong she’s a stone cold stunner, and can turn any bad situation into a good one at the last minute.
Don’t worry about her wanting to share her food with you, as she’s on some weird diet where she only eats odd plants and nuts. The burger and fries are all yours.
While Thomasina is a trophy wife who you can see staying with forever, chances are she’s going to fuck off to Florida with her big friend Roberta Gronk to see out there retirement.
Doubtful she will let you keep any of her fancy rings when you split either.

Drew Brees

No need to change the first name, as Drew swings both ways in this scenario. If you want to date this one, you better have deep pockets, as Drew loves the bling. This ‘Diamond Lady’ is known to blow half her wad on the sparkly trinkets, but don’t worry-she couldn’t spot a fake if jumped on her finger.
Drew does have a big weakness when it comes to social media postings, as she often will post something without thinking. Most people know her intentions are good, but you might want to wear a helmet on this ride, as she is known to backpedal.

Erin Rodgers

Whatever you do, don’t bring up her family. The Rodgers clan love to make money off Erin’s success and her sister even made an appearance on a reality show to capitalise off of her fame.
If you’re looking for a drama-free relationship, don’t stop here.
Erin is known for her fiery personality & competitiveness. She is more likely to beat you at beer-chugging, wing eating and arm-wrestling then lose it on you for being a ‘loser.’
She’s the kind of girl to get you through the end of the night, but will probably end up dumping you behind you back and moving on quickly.

Lamara Jackson

Imagine a girl who can do everything better than you, but is too humble to make you feel about it.
She’s the kind of girl your friends would ask ‘what is she doing with him’ while secretly making fantasies about her and what life would be like if she was theirs.
Young, hot, and full of energy, Lamara is most likely to get tired of you, but when she dumps you, you will feel like it is totally your fault.
She has a bit of a chip on her shoulder from last year, which is only going to make her hotter in the future.
When you think of Lamara, you will always ask ‘what if’?

Michelle Trubisky

Michelle is what happens when you meet someone online, but they turn out to be nothing like what you were promised.
The relationship starts out fast and exciting, until you realise that she has serious spatial awareness.
She is the Mr. Magoo of girlfriends.
The kind that leaves the car in drive when she gets out, constantly loses her phone, her keys, and trips over her own feet. When you get frustrated she cries, then you feel even worse.
As soon as you started dating her you realise that it was a mistake, so you keep doing things so that she’ll dump you.


Jody Burrow

‘She’s way too young!’ That’s what all your friends say as soon as they meet her.
You try to explain that she’s out of college and was so hot and smart there, and you can’t wait to move her back to your shitty hometown so that everyone can be blown away by her talents.
Deep down however, you’re not sure yourself and every time you go out in public you wonder what people are saying about you.
Will she stay with you forever, turn out to be a bust, or end up leaving you once she gets bored of this town.
She’s too young…wait a few years.

Of course, what do I know…I’m single and have a horrible track record with dating women. I have enough crazies in my back pocket to form a new ‘Suicide Squad’.

I’ll be back with another edition of Lady QBs. Who would be your ideal QB to date.
No judgement, no gender bias, just a fun look at the world we live in.
Stay safe, stay sane, bring back the NFL.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Featured, NFL London, NFL News, NFL Pictures Tagged With: buffalo bills, Chicago Bears, Dallas Cowboys, drew brees, Indianapolis Colts, Joe Burrow, kansas city chiefs, la rams, lamar jackson, mitch trubisky, NFL international series, NFL London, NFL memes, NFL Tottenham, NFL Wembley, Oakland Raiders, Ryan Cull, San Francisco 49ers, tom brady, Wade McElwain

Thanksgiving Picks

November 27, 2019 by nflinlondon

Gobble, Gobble y’all. It’s time for Thanksgiving NFL!

The NFL and Thanksgiving go together like a stuffed bird with no feathers. The tradition dates back to 1920 when the NFL first came into existence. Of course the tradition of Thanksgiving football games is a American college tradition that dates back to the 1880s’, but like all great traditions it was adopted and marketed to the masses.

Detroit was the first team to be tagged with Thanksgiving hosting duties in 1934, and has continued on this symbolic gesture every year. Many AFC teams have complained about them not being able to host any of the games, but where were you in 1934? Huh, punk. Don’t mess with Detroit.

Dallas Cowboys joined the turkey-fold in 1966, 6 years after they were welcomed into the league. There are numerous myths as to why the Cowboys ‘had’ to host Thanksgiving, but it all boils down to ‘there was nothing to watch on TV that day.’ Good enough for Dallas, good enough for me.

I am a huge fan of the Thanksgiving games. As a Canadian, it always felt nice to have 2 turkey eating holidays-even if your Thanksgiving only had NFL football.
My dad use to always take off work every ‘Black Friday’, which was nice as well.
It was only years later I learned he did this because he was incredibly hungover.
Still got quality time with him and McDonald’s!
Boom.

This year is a bitter sweet game, as my Bears play my dad’s Detroit Lions. I wish more than anything that I could watch the game with him, but sadly dementia is a bitch.

I will be watching the games on Thursday ay Belushi’s in Camden, come join us for some fun.

-3 Bears vs Lions +39

Chicago Bears
The Bears won! The Bears won! Mitchell Trubisky continued to struggle, but somehow found his mojo in the 2nd half. He still has the QB vision of someone who was kicked in the head by a goat, but he was able to check the ball down field. It flabbergasts me how many open targets he misses every week. Almost as much as being able to use the word ‘flabbergast’ when talking about Mitch.
As much as he takes the bulk of the blame, a depleted o-line has also not given him much time to get the ball off, or Montgomery the pace to get open.
Montgomery was used more effectively last week, but they still need to get the momentum going and build on a pattern of 1st downs.
The defence continues to play well, despite being let down by Mitch.
They handled the Giants last Sunday easily, & this depleted Lions team will offer far less of a bite.
Driskel is in for an abysmal day.

Lions
Poor, poor Detroit. I am talking about the city, not the team. The Lions are Stafford-less, and it looks like he doesn’t seem to mind as he ‘backs’ his way out of the season. Jeff Driskel couldn’t get picked for a tema in a league full of asthmatic children, so starting for the Lions is a leap. He made some truly crap-tastic passes last week, & was fortunate the Redskin receivers could barely hold onto their balls.
Their running game will rely on Bo Scarborough running into the Bears defense, who will be relentless.
The Lions D will be tasked with not only covering the Bears speedy receivers, as well as trying to block a surging running game.
Luckily, Mitch Trubisky can’t throw that far.

Bills vs -6.5 Cowboys +45

Bills
Buffalo is 8-3, and Dallas is 6-5. If you told most fans that this is how it would go down by week 13 of this season, they wouldn’t believe you. Well, maybe Ryan would.
Josh Allen has been playing incredibly, and they have really squeezed the value out of their stingy defence. Of course, it helps when you have the EASIEST schedule in the NFL this year.
Will they be able to get their running game and wide receivers firing against ‘DemBoyz?
It will be tough, but with the amount of injuries on the Cowboys side, there is a chance the Bills win this, if not just keep it close.

Cowboys
The Cowboys is trippin’ after their loss last week to the Patriots. It was a rather low scoring affair, that had the refs surprisingly side with the Patriots on many calls. What? They can choose sides? They sure can! Amari Cooper looks hobbled and Zeke is struggling to get back into form. They are at home, but with that 4 day loss-hangover following them back.
Dak will be able to put up points, especially with his feet, but look for the Bills to keep this one closer than people think.

-7 Saints vs Falcons +49

Saints
A few weeks ago these two met, and the result was unpredicted. The Falcons smoke-showed the Saints who looked lost as they took a pummelling. Will it be the same this week? No way, Jose. The Saints had a few more injuries then, including Alvin Kamara. These guys are back and healthy. Brees is now on form, and in another dome. A dome where the Falcons lose a lot. They should get use to that.

Falcons
Despite playing putting together a string of wins, the Falcons aren’t fooling anyone. They identify as sucks, suckies, and suckers. They got slapped around by the Bucs last week, as their tough defence was penetrated numerous times without consent by Jameis. The fact that Hooper and Austin will be out this week means Matt Ryan will have hardly anyone to throw to, and even less time. If Marshawn Lattimore returns to the Saints D, we could see even more ugliness. This is the latest of the games, so hopefully the Falcons fans will be wasted.

Where are you watching the games? If you’re in London-join us at our fantastic BetRegal Thanksgiving party at Belushi’s Camden. Sign up ahead of time, or on the day and get a welcome beer! We have plenty of space for all of your NFL viewing needs.

We are also running a DraftKings Thanksgiving contest as well. It is free to join and fun as all get out.

Don’t forget, Friday is ‘Black Friday’, so make sure you don’t drunk shop when you are watching the games!

Good luck, and Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Filed Under: Featured, NFL Betting, NFL News, NFL Picks Tagged With: Atlanta Falcons, Betregal, betting, bill belichick, buffalo bills, Dallas, Dallas Cowboys, detroit lions, draftkings, Houston Texans, london betting, London International, London NFL, matt ryan, mitch trubisky, mitchell trubisky, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, NFL bets, NFL International, NFL international series, NFL London, NFL podcast, NFL tips, NFL Wembley, NFLUK, Philadelphia Eagles, Wade McElwain

Week 11 Review

November 21, 2019 by nflinlondon

Wow! Week 11 was like a punch in the head, except with a helmet…but it kind of missed…but it was scary.

Well it wasn’t just all about Myles Garrett, but he sure set the tone on TNF with that sledgehammer attack with a helmet on Mason Rudolph.
He apologised though…so..there’s that.

In this podcast, Wade McElwain & Ryan Cull blast through all of the games and highlights to give you a nice vantage on the week that was.
They also chat about:

Detroit Lions

Beaten, hampered, and injured, these Lions should be a meme. Even without Matthew Stafford they continue to compete. Imagine what they team would have been like had he played this week. They kept it close (again) almost toppling the Cowboys. It will be interesting to see what they do with him next season.

Falcon On!

Atlanta has finally managed to put a few wins together, but it’s too little too late. Are they winning for Dan Quinn, or winning because they just hate losing. Opposing teams should fear these guys in the coming weeks, as they have nothing to lose.

Washington Rot-Skins

Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! The woeful Redskins continue to watch their season flush down the toilet. Sure, they play better than the Bengals, but at least the injured cats try. You know it’s bad when you have to rely on Adrian Peterson and a bunch of no-names.

Bronco Kicked

Ouch Denver. You had a 20 point lead at the half, and then you let it slip away. Geez Louise! The Vikings were able to come back, but they were man-handled by that defensive line. It’s tough for a team with a great D, but a horrible, horrible offense with a bunch of losers.

Baredown

You suck Mitch Trubisky! In case you haven’t heard that enough, let me blast that for you one more time. Trubisky is sucking bad, and shows no signs of getting better. At least Cutler embraced being an a-hole.
You know it’s bad when you miss Cutler.

Make sure you join our DraftKings League, and look out for some options from BetRegal this week.

We will also announce our Thanksgiving plans tomorrow, so get your gobble on.

Filed Under: Featured, NFL London, NFL News, NFL Podcasts Tagged With: Atlanta Falcons, bears, bill belichick, buffalo bills, detroit lions, London International, Miami Dolphins, mitch trubisky, mitchell trubisky, NFL bets, NFL International, NFL memes, NFL podcast, Oakland Raiders, Ryan Cull, tom brady, uk podcast, Wade McElwain

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