NFL in London

National Football League in London

Chicago Bears

Sleeveless Bill

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Hold on sports fans, we have a new category to lump Bill Belichick in…actor!
Sure, he’s done a bit of acting when he pretended not to know about Aaron Hernandez, or that he didn’t think that Tom Brady was leaving, or even acting when it came to knowing nothing about Robert Kraft and his mayo-laden massage sessions, but this time he is in a real ad.

Subway has taken over from Papa John’s as the food of the NFL, and has chosen Patriots coach Bill Belichick as their frontman.
He’s the first guy to jump into the role since Jared got busted for trying to punch his 6 inch card at local high schools and Subway had to take a commercial break for a few years.

Can Bill act? Hell no.
Is it as painful to watch as Tom Brady sliding head first into a tackle? Yes.
Do you think that Bill actually eats at Subway? Hells no.

At any rate, it is nice to kick off the NFL again, and those tummy jitters that come with the start of an impending season.
The Patriots are kind of like a sub…they have a white bread bottom, lots of flavour on offence, a smothering sauce of a defence, and Cam Newton is like the pineapple and jalapeño you throw on just to make it yours. It might be gross to taste this season, but that’s the way they made it.

What’s your favourite NFL food?

 

FanDraft your Draft

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Holy crap! The NFL is finally here in an eerie new way. Sure there’s a global pandemic wrecking havoc on our way of life, but football is back, so screw you Covid.

As the pumpkin spice springs back to life on the shelves, so do the Fantasy Football magazines, beckoning us to buy them to flip through those crispy pages on extended toilet breaks. Maybe magazines are old school, but there’s nothing like the nostalgia of dipping through the stats as you’re dropping the kids off at the pool.

Having run numerous drafts, the worst thing is the paperwork. And the alcohol. If you’re going to be a commish, make sure you don’t get too wasted or you’ll have a bugger of a next day trying to remember who had who and in what order.

Good thing there’s FanDraft, a wicked piece of NFL Drafting software that makes your draft simple and fun. With the pandemic blowing out the fun of a Draft Day outing, you can use FanDraft to virtually pump up your party, teaming it with streaming software for a fun few hours of bonding.

Here are some of the key features that makes FanDraft so wicked easy cool.

Draft Boards

Remember the days of the big old draft boards on cardboard that had sticky names on them? There was always one guy who had to build them, order the name tags, or worse-having to write them out manually. With FanDraft the board is a big screen of all the names, ordered in whichever way you like. The commish can switch between the DraftBoard, as well as top players by category and a précis of whatever guys you have drafted thus far. If you make a mistake or a glitch, the commish can simply fix it and the draft is paused until it’s ready to go. The players are also ordered by colour for position, so you can easily see what positions you still have to fill on your roster.

Draft Reports

In the olde days, the draft was written in a notebook, and some schmuck had to enter all the data into a document that would then be shared to the group. Some of you still do that? Damn! With FanDraft as soon as your draft is done you can export the results into an series of documents for the league and each player. This data is just a  copy & paste into whichever app you’re using. The process for a whole league can take less than 5 minutes and you’re ready to go.

Remote Drafting

Like any remote engagement, it all depends on the connection of the devices to really get one going. FanDraft has used an online method previously with increasing success each year. With the new platform for drafting, this is a fun way for everyone to play along in real time. Again your connection speed is going to be the key wherever you are, so run a few dry runs to see how it goes. Careful, some guys get pissed when they see what ‘could have been.’

Music & Pictures

It’s nice to have some tunes when you’re drafting, and FanDraft allows each player to choose 3 songs for their walk-ons. It’s a fun little addition, especially if you like to burn one of your fellow players. There has to be a loser every year, and why not rub it in with some cheesy songs to remind them of their loss? You can also add images, which are pretty handy when you want to see who’s on the clock.

Clock Management

There’s always one person who takes so bloody long, even in the early rounds. Make them pay by changing the selection clock to a shorter length. If you can get the draft down to 60 seconds per choice, you can get a good round down to under an hour. Some people might like the pause of a long and chatty draft, & other people have shit to do.

Conclusion

FanDraft is totally worth it. If you want to run an easy and efficient draft, this program will help you help you in so many ways. We love it so much, we want to give you 15% off the pro version with our promo code ‘FANDRAFTUK‘.
Just go here, sign up and start drafting. You can do as many drafts as you like, so have some fun.

https://fandraft.com/

Here’s a video that will help you run through how it works.

NFL 2020?-Podcast

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Ughh, it’s not looking good is it.
2020 is a ‘Butt Fumble’ for the NFL season, and with maskless asses continuing to flaunt the rules, it looks like that the season is looking in doubt.
(We’re talking to you Florida)

In this episode of the podcast, Wade & Ryan look at the woeful situation stateside, and what needs to be done to get this season going.
Not like they have any say in how this whole shitshow plays out.

The boys also touch on the following:

Redskins

There’s a whole lot more going in Washington that just the racism in the name. Word out of the capital is that the coaches and owners were naughty and broke some serious rules and laws. While lots of this is conjecture, the growing sentiment is that Dan Snyder and co, might have some explaining to do. Numerous people would like to see Snyder out, so we will see how this whole drama plays out.

Dak Prescott

Dak will be playing next year under the franchise tag, but could he have closed the deal? His brother thinks so. Dak is looking for Mahomes money, but that is a folly given the way he has played the past few years. Yes, he’s good-but is he good enough to deserve this kind of money? Considering what a company man he is for the Cowboys, he sure has to be pissed.

Myles Garrett

Big helmet swinging! Myles signs a monster $100 million+ contract that befits a guy of his skill. Hopefully he can put all of the mess with Rudolph behind him and get back to what he does best, sacking QBs.

Aaron Rodgers

He’s split from his girlfriend Danica Patrick, now he is saying that he is worried about the 2020 NFL season. What’s going on AA-Ron? He is usually a calm voice in the league, so his worries might echo a bit more across the league.

Have a listen, have a laugh, and get in touch if you want to be a part of our next podcasts.

Podcast-The New NFL

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The NFL is coming back, but it certainly isn’t going to look like it did in the past.
Players getting temperature checks between plays, cardboard cutouts of fans with EA Sports fan noise pumped into an empty stadium.
Buffalo will fare even worse, as no fans will be thrown through tailgate tables, and a dildo-less field for Patriots games. Zero dildos.
Are you happy Covid-19?

In this safe distanced podcast, Wade and Ryan look at some of the top NFL news in this sports bereft landscape.
If tumble weeds were to somehow start rolling across our plains, these guys would bet on them

Among some of the other NFL news to discuss:

NFL Preseason

We all know how much we love preseason games! Players you have never heard of trying to make that crack at the final roster, while named players try to get their shit together after a fat summer.
The league has reduced the preseason to 2 weeks, but that could be zero weeks if the NFLPA has anything to say about it.

Johnny Manziel

Johnny Manziel has finally left the field. JM has publicly posted what all of us have known for years, Johnny Football is no more. Don’t shed a tear for him yet, he still has big plans.
Let’s not forget that he was BANNED from the CFL. How much of a douche can you be if even Canadian football has to ban you. We still don’t know what it was for exactly, but it has to be nasty.

Ocho is a Nice Guy

He’s got a big mouth, and even bigger heart. Chad Ocho Johnson has been giving away his own cash to people in need. He’s promised to give $245k away, and has so far delivered over $150k to fans across the states. While he may never play in the NFL again, this guy needs to be rewarded someone how being an awesome human. Give him a chance at game pundit.

Redskins

It’s that time again. What are we going to do about Washington? Loads of sponsors & investors have had enough of a BLM movement that has seen them seemingly ignore the plights of protestors.
Will Snyder and co. finally give in to the public and change their Skin? If there was any time to do it, now might be a good one.

Cam Newton

The old man has a job, which is something you wouldn’t think to hear in this climate.
Cam is with the Patriots and everyone seems to have lost their rag. He hasn’t played in a while and was plagued by injuries and weekly beatings by opposing defences, so it will be intriguing to see what he can bring to the table. A title seems too lofty.

Enjoy the podcast. Have a listen and a laugh, and reach out for anything.

Stay safe.

Lady QBs-1

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Lockdown has led to lunacy! Have you noticed?
One of the triggering elements that I have noticed is that the more bored people get, the more they play around with apps and memes to occupy the darkness that envelopes our everyday life.
Case in point-NFL QBs as ladies.

FaceApp is one of those hokey apps that allows you to cross the gender barrier to see what you would look like as a member of the opposite sex. This self-serving digital switch not only allows you to revel in your curious side, but also gives your mates the opportunity to rank how they would ‘do you.’
Nothing creepy about this at all.

It was only a matter of time then that someone would take a look at some of the biggest names in the NFL and think, ‘yep, it’s your time.’
As if racism wasn’t a hot enough issue, let’s toss a little misogyny in for good measure.
Of course I kid, but it seems like everyone has their knickers in such a knot these days it’s hard to be able to joke about anything.

As a comedian however, I reserve the right to be able to throw around some playful banter.
Therefore I have decided to look at some of the best QB face-swaps and measurements their potential as a girlfriend.
No lady bashing here, just equating their dateability with some of their on and off the field misadventures.
A lampoon of all their foibles and fuck-ups.
If this offends you…seriously…just go away.

Here we go.

Thomasina Brady

First off she’s a cheater. You’ve heard it from everyone, and even worse there’s a rumour she might deflate your balls. Don’t get me wrong she’s a stone cold stunner, and can turn any bad situation into a good one at the last minute.
Don’t worry about her wanting to share her food with you, as she’s on some weird diet where she only eats odd plants and nuts. The burger and fries are all yours.
While Thomasina is a trophy wife who you can see staying with forever, chances are she’s going to fuck off to Florida with her big friend Roberta Gronk to see out there retirement.
Doubtful she will let you keep any of her fancy rings when you split either.

Drew Brees

No need to change the first name, as Drew swings both ways in this scenario. If you want to date this one, you better have deep pockets, as Drew loves the bling. This ‘Diamond Lady’ is known to blow half her wad on the sparkly trinkets, but don’t worry-she couldn’t spot a fake if jumped on her finger.
Drew does have a big weakness when it comes to social media postings, as she often will post something without thinking. Most people know her intentions are good, but you might want to wear a helmet on this ride, as she is known to backpedal.

Erin Rodgers

Whatever you do, don’t bring up her family. The Rodgers clan love to make money off Erin’s success and her sister even made an appearance on a reality show to capitalise off of her fame.
If you’re looking for a drama-free relationship, don’t stop here.
Erin is known for her fiery personality & competitiveness. She is more likely to beat you at beer-chugging, wing eating and arm-wrestling then lose it on you for being a ‘loser.’
She’s the kind of girl to get you through the end of the night, but will probably end up dumping you behind you back and moving on quickly.

Lamara Jackson

Imagine a girl who can do everything better than you, but is too humble to make you feel about it.
She’s the kind of girl your friends would ask ‘what is she doing with him’ while secretly making fantasies about her and what life would be like if she was theirs.
Young, hot, and full of energy, Lamara is most likely to get tired of you, but when she dumps you, you will feel like it is totally your fault.
She has a bit of a chip on her shoulder from last year, which is only going to make her hotter in the future.
When you think of Lamara, you will always ask ‘what if’?

Michelle Trubisky

Michelle is what happens when you meet someone online, but they turn out to be nothing like what you were promised.
The relationship starts out fast and exciting, until you realise that she has serious spatial awareness.
She is the Mr. Magoo of girlfriends.
The kind that leaves the car in drive when she gets out, constantly loses her phone, her keys, and trips over her own feet. When you get frustrated she cries, then you feel even worse.
As soon as you started dating her you realise that it was a mistake, so you keep doing things so that she’ll dump you.


Jody Burrow

‘She’s way too young!’ That’s what all your friends say as soon as they meet her.
You try to explain that she’s out of college and was so hot and smart there, and you can’t wait to move her back to your shitty hometown so that everyone can be blown away by her talents.
Deep down however, you’re not sure yourself and every time you go out in public you wonder what people are saying about you.
Will she stay with you forever, turn out to be a bust, or end up leaving you once she gets bored of this town.
She’s too young…wait a few years.

Of course, what do I know…I’m single and have a horrible track record with dating women. I have enough crazies in my back pocket to form a new ‘Suicide Squad’.

I’ll be back with another edition of Lady QBs. Who would be your ideal QB to date.
No judgement, no gender bias, just a fun look at the world we live in.
Stay safe, stay sane, bring back the NFL.