NFL in London

National Football League in London

miami

Tank Bowl

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The worst teams in the NFL?
Sure.
And they get to face each other this Sunday in a game that will most likely smell like stale feet.

That’s right folks, it’s the Washington Redskins heading to the home of the ‘fins, to face the Miami Dolphins.
We won’t need to remind you that both of these teams have donuts where wins should be.

The forecast in Miami this weekend calls for an empty stadium, overpriced beer, and Florida really wishing that they had legal marijuana.
Because this game is going to skunk it up.

Who wins?
No one.
Especially if you watch the whole thing.
Maybe we can get Adrian Peterson to beat us with a switch instead?

Week 1 Review

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Ugh! What a week in the NFL!
New England Patriots, Baltimore Ravens & Dallas Cowboys put on a smoke show of points in some hotly contested matches.
Or were they?

Wade McElwain & Ryan Cull break down all of the week 1 matches in the NFL.

Bears vs Packers
Mitchell Trubisky was a joke show as previously discussed.

Chiefs vs Jaguars
Patrick Mahomes blew the lid on the joint with his footwork & passing, while the Jags were blown by Big Dick Nick.
Will Milshewn, Milden, Mildew be a #1 qb?

Titans vs Chiefs
The Titans are what now? The Browns did who they hey now?
A real lesson in protection & fulfilment.
The Titans stuffed & roughed the Browns.

Bills vs Jets
Don’t believe the hype Jets fans!
Despite an early lead, the Bills rallied to snuff the Jets & a tepid offence, plus a D that took it more than an 80s porn star.
Am I right?

Giants vs Cowboys
Like wedding a lamb, to a cowboy.
Dak & company made it look easy as they dismembered the Giants in a succulent fashion.
The Giants suck, so Dak will have to prove himself going forward.

Ravens vs Miami
Seriously, talking about the Miami Dolphins is like talking about a school shooting.
Just don’t.

Bucs vs 49ers
Bruce Arians doesn’t whisper no more.
Jameis was Shameis again in a disparaging match of crap.
The 49ers looked ok’ish, but Jimmy G still looks like that knee is a glass heirloom.

Texans vs Saints
Best game of the week, bar none.
Deshaun Watson carved a tough D with some of the west WRs in the game.
Drew Brees answered, in what was a match of the season, at least the best game thus far.
Brees’ last minute drive to get Will Lutz the chance to FG was a genius drive.
Still my pick of the NFC..thus far.

Listen, Laugh, Share, Wine, Day Drink, Shoplift, Karen.

Miami Woes

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Wow, the Dolphins had the crap spanked out of them by Lamar Jackson and the Baltimore Ravens in week 1.
Remember how they said that Lamar can’t throw?
Tell that to his stats.

Next up for the Dolphins is Tom Brady, Antonio Brown and the Patriots, who literally pulled the anus from the throat of the hapless Steelers on Sunday night.
Will anyone be able to stop Brady & Bellichick?
Doubtful.

AFC East Prediction

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Can we really choose anyone else in this division other than the New England Patriots?
How did they get even stronger this year when Tom Brady is at least 109 years old!
Wade & Ryan both take a stab at how they think this division will end up, and it’s pretty predictable.
UNLESS Tom Brady is somehow mangled on the field this season, the Patriots should comfortably cruise on through unscathed to the post-season.
Wade sees the Patriots going all the way to the big game, while Ryan thinks that they will have some problems in the AFC battle in January.

Buffalo present an interesting dilemma, as they have a huge talent of running backs to choose from, as well as a plucky running QB in Josh Allen.
Will their defense be able to stifle the opposition again this year? Have they strengthened their line by shovelling snow in the offseason?
Buffalo could well be a 500 team again this year, causing problems and turmoil to all teams in this division.

The New York Jets are interesting as you have a team whose coach has essentially run rough-shot over the whole team. He is not a huge fan of Le’veon Bell, so it will be interesting to see how they respond to him.
Will their QB-Sam Darnold continue to impress with his play, or will he switch back to erratic?
There is a ton of pressure on the Jets to succeed this year, sadly it doesn’t see like Wade or Ryan think that will happen.

Lastly the lowly Dolphins of Miami, where the hurricanes seem to intensify every year.
The fact that Ryan Fitzpatrick was able to secure the starting job says a lot about how this team will progress.
Miami traditionally starts off modestly ok, then quickly turns as Florida can turn into ‘Florida Man’…
(Have you tried Googling that followed by your birthday?)

Suffice to say, this is another Patriots year.
Even without Gronk.