If Week 1 felt like dipping your toes into the NFL season, Week 2 was more like cannonballing into the deep end with your phone still in your pocket. From rookie QBs being swallowed alive, to kickers rewriting physics textbooks, to Joe Burrow’s toe deciding to take a three-month holiday — Week 2 delivered a mix of brilliance, chaos, and some very expensive physio bills.
Sunday Night Spotlight: Vikings Can’t Hack It, Falcons Find Life
The Minnesota Vikings’ J.J. McCarthy had the kind of night that makes you wish the NFL offered a “do-over” button. He went 11-of-21 for 158 yards, two interceptions, and six sacks in a 22-6 loss to the Atlanta Falcons. If his stat line were a movie, it would be “Honey, I Shrunk the Offense.”
But credit the Falcons — their defense, which has been about as effective as a chocolate teapot in recent years, suddenly looks feisty. Rookie defenders Jalon Walker and James Pearce Jr. led a six-sack party, and kicker Parker Romo (signed literally five days earlier) went 5-for-5 on field goals. At this rate, Atlanta fans might actually enjoy Sundays again.
Injury notes: Vikings RB Aaron Jones Sr. left with a strained hamstring, while veteran center Ryan Kelly was concussed — his fourth documented head injury. That’s bad news for McCarthy, who already needs a bodyguard detail.
Late Afternoon Chaos: Colts Up, Chiefs Down
Colts 29, Broncos 28
Remember when Daniel Jones was laughed out of New York? Well, he’s now moonlighting as Andrew Luck 2.0 in Indianapolis. Jones threw for 316 yards and a touchdown, plus another score on the ground, in a comeback win sealed by rookie kicker Spencer Shrader’s 45-yard field goal. Jonathan Taylor chipped in 165 rushing yards, most of it after contact, because tackling him is optional, apparently.
The Broncos… well, Dondrea Tillman committed a leverage penalty that gifted the Colts a second chance after a missed kick. That’s like tripping at the finish line of a marathon because you were trying to look cool for the cameras.
Eagles 20, Chiefs 17
In a Super Bowl rematch, Philly’s defense smothered Patrick Mahomes like gravy on a Sunday roast. Mahomes finished with just 187 passing yards, one TD, one INT, and a whole lot of frustration. Rookie safety Andrew Mukuba picked him off after Travis Kelce bobbled what should’ve been a go-ahead grab.
The Chiefs are now 0-2 for the first time since 2014. Don’t panic yet, but if Mahomes starts doing his own “Taylor Swift sad songs” playlist, maybe worry.
Early Kickoffs: Burrow’s Toe Steals the Headlines
Bengals 31, Jaguars 27
Cincinnati fans should celebrate their comeback win — but no one is smiling. Joe Burrow suffered a turf toe injury that could sideline him for three months after surgery. Jake Browning stepped in, throwing for 241 yards and rushing in the game-winner with 18 seconds left, but let’s be honest: a Burrow-less Bengals season feels like a Ferrari with a flat tire.
Injury notes: Burrow left on crutches and in a boot. Bengals center Ted Karras summed it up best: “I wish I was more excited.”
Lions 52, Bears 21
Detroit decided Week 1’s dud was beneath them and responded by dropping 52 points on Chicago. Jared Goff was nearly flawless (334 yards, five TDs), with Amon-Ra St. Brown catching three of them.
The Bears? Caleb Williams threw some promising passes before being benched for Tyson Bagent. They also committed 14 penalties. Ben Johnson’s homecoming to Detroit went about as well as a stag-do in Magaluf.
The Thrillers and the Blunders
Cowboys 40, Giants 37 (OT)
Russell Wilson turned back the clock, throwing for 450 yards and three TDs, including a gorgeous strike to rookie Malik Nabers. But in overtime, he launched a prayer that landed in Dallas’ arms. Dak Prescott (361 yards, two TDs) and kicker Brandon Aubrey (who nailed a 64-yard game-tying FG in regulation) sealed it with a 46-yarder in OT.
Giants fans briefly dreamed, then remembered penalties (14 for 160 yards!) are still a thing.
Seahawks 31, Steelers 17
Sam Darnold looked competent (yes, really) with 295 yards and two TDs, while a muffed kickoff return by Steelers rookie Kaleb Johnson basically handed Seattle a free touchdown. Pittsburgh also lost LB Alex Highsmith to a high-ankle sprain (4–6 weeks). Mike Tomlin probably aged five years in that one.
Other Notables
- Bills 30, Jets 10 – Josh Allen bled from the nose, shoved gauze in, and kept balling. Justin Fields left with a concussion after a miserable 3-of-11 passing day.
- Ravens 41, Browns 17 – Lamar Jackson threw four TDs; former Raven Joe Flacco wished he hadn’t come back to Baltimore.
- Patriots 33, Dolphins 27 – Rookie Drake Maye looked poised, tossing two TDs and running for another. Miami? Tua threw a back-breaking INT.
- Rams 33, Titans 19 – Matthew Stafford spread the love to Davante Adams and Puka Nacua. Rookie Cam Ward was sacked five times.
- 49ers 26, Saints 21 – Mac Jones, yes that Mac Jones, threw three TDs filling in for Brock Purdy.
- Cardinals 27, Panthers 22 – Bryce Young finally woke up, tossing three TDs in a near-comeback. Too bad Arizona’s Calais Campbell slammed the door shut.
Injury Round-Up
- Joe Burrow (toe) – surgery, out three months.
- Justin Fields (concussion) – in protocol.
- Alex Highsmith (ankle) – out 4–6 weeks.
- Kyle Van Noy (hamstring) – week-to-week.
- T.J. Edwards (hamstring) – Bears’ LB re-aggravated injury, status uncertain.
- Aaron Jones Sr. (hamstring) – left Vikings game.
Week 2 was like riding the Northern Line at rush hour: unpredictable, stressful, and half the people looked injured by the end. But we got fireworks — from kickers casually banging 64-yarders, to Jared Goff pretending he’s Tom Brady, to Mahomes being made mortal.
If Week 3 is half as chaotic, set your alarms early and keep the kettle warm.
